Hopelessly Drowning

Chapter 5

Here is Chapter 5!

Thank you so much to all the people who have voted and commented on my story, your support means so much to me!

!!! This chapter will deal with some heavy topics, so I would like to put out another trigger warning in case any readers missed the one on the blurb. Please do not read this chapter if you are uncomfortable or triggered by mentions of abuse and/or harmful self opinions and thoughts. Your health and comfort are extremely important so please avoid this chapter if that is not for you. !!!

For everyone else please read on. As always feel free to comment and vote if you want to show your support, share your opinion, and give me constructive criticism. 

Enjoy!!!

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"Hi, my name is Maya!" The girl across the table from me introduced herself through a mouthful of potato. She swallowed before giving me a huge grin.

"Maya is super nice and she is a literal genius! She is so so so good at all the numbers and science and she is always neat, so she is the best bunkmate to have." Riley explained quickly. Maya grinned at the compliment before shoveling another heaping spoon of potatoes into her mouth. 

Riley spent the entirety of dinner chattering about her week at school, describing all her friends in great detail. Her constant chatter was almost comforting, it filled the silence in my mind and drowned out the thoughts threatening to take me under, I was slightly envious of the almost normal life she seemed to lead, but I quickly pushed the feeling down. Nobody here had a normal life, life had dealt us all a crappy hand.

I noted how Riley hadn't touched any food on her plate, she hardly even seemed to notice it. Something told me it wasn't just because she was busy talking to me, but I kept quiet, it wasn't my place.

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After dinner, I found myself slumped on my bed, the exhaustion threatening to take over. Ms. Harris had told me that she wanted to briefly talk with me before I went to sleep. The feeling of comfort from dinner had left as quickly as it had come, and as I sat on my bed fighting a losing battle to keep my eyes open, everything hit me all at once. Since my stepfather had died, I had been in a haze. The emotions and memories that I had suppressed for so long were coming back up. My breathing sped up, and my hands clenched into fists. And then the dam broke.

Everything came rushing back. Every memory of my stepfather, every thought, every slap, every kick, every cry, every scream.

"Please stop, please!" My voice was hoarse from screaming. He had come home angry, I should have known, I should have stayed away.

"Shut..up!" Each word was punctuated with a kick to my already battered body. I flinched further into the corner.

"Please...please...plea..." My voice faded as the pain became overwhelming, I welcomed the darkness, begging for its sweet relief.

I clenched the sheets in my fists, eyes squeezing shut. Worthless. Disgusting. Stop! My breathing became even more labored.

"Momma, what are you doing?" My mother froze, her body and shoulders tensing. She slowly turned around refusing to meet my eyes.

"Elizabeth...why did you come home so early, normally you stay out until 5?" Her voice sounded guilty, I scanned her tensed form before brushing aside my suspicion.

" Maddie's mom gave me a ride home, she said that I shouldn't stay out in the rain too long. What are you doing?" I questioned again, curiously tilting my head to the side to see behind her. She instantly stood in front of the bed, bringing my attention to her wringing hands and downcast eyes.