Painting Dreams (ECSB Series 1) (REVISING)

Chapter 4

Mabilis na lumubog ang araw. Agad akong umalis ng gallery at nang saktong alas sais na ay agad na pumunta sa café na tagpuan namin.

I opened the door and went inside. Agad kong namataan ang tiyuhin sa dulong mesa. Dumiretso ako sa counter para umorder muna ng kape't tinapay nang tumambad sa akin si Jacc. I haven't seen him in weeks and in the most unexpected time and place is where I get to find him...

He was wearing the same apron the other workers wear in the café. I figured he was working here. I didn't bother to ask him about it, besides it wasn't my business, but the tiredness in his eyes were so evident I nearly asked.

I gave a small smile and so did he then proceeded to order. He didn't feel warm; despite the smile he gave me. I fought myself to keep those thoughts away and I reminded myself that I have to finish the talk with my uncle immediately or the walls of my façade would crumble before his eyes. Thankfully, the service was quick and I walked towards our table saka inilapag ang tray na bitbit ko.

Agad na kinuha ni Tito Melwin ang kape't sumubo ng tinapay. His clothes were baggy, his hair was long and a mess, and his scent was the same as ever – strong cold aqua, but something in it stinks. Kapansin-pansin ang mga mata nitong dilat na dilat at ang balat nitong unti-unti nang nasisira. May bilis sa kilos niya na tila ba taranta na iyon. Saglit pa ay nag-angat ito ng tingin sa akin at ngumiti na siyang nagdala ng kilabot sa akin.

"Pasensya na," sabi niya saka ibinaba ang kinakain matapos makalahati 'yun.

"Si Ate..." panimula n'ya.

Tinapangan ko ang loob at hinanda ang sarili buong araw dahil alam kong ito ang mapag-uusapan, pero hindi sa nakakalungkot na paraan kundi sa pagsisinungaling at pandaraya. That's how he always works on my mother, on me...

Tumikhim ito bago patuloy na nagsalita, "May utang kasi s'yang naiwan. Kailangang bayaran na 'yun, Oli."

"Ilang taon na pong patay si Mama. Bakit ngayon?" tanong ko rito na ikinalaki ng mata niya.

Kita ko ang paglunok nito at saka sinabing, "Apat na taon ko na ring iniiwasan ang mga naniningil!"

Mahina ang boses nito, pero may gigil. Mabilis na nagbago ang mukha nito't bahagyang tumingin sa magkabilang gilid namin...

"Nakakuha na ho kayo ng isang daang libo sa akin wala pang dalawang taon matapos yumao ni Mama. Kailangan n'yo na naman ho ba ng pera para sa bisyo ninyo?" buong tapang kong tanong.

Si Papa ang nagpatingin sa kung ano ang ginawa ni Tito Melwin sa pera at doon nalaman na inilustay nito ang lahat sa casino, droga, at alak. Nalaman din namin na bago pa man mamatay si Mama ay tambak na ng utang si Tito dahil sa pagbili ng droga.

"Depress ako noon, Oli. Namatayan ako ng kapatid... ang nag-iisang pamilya ko," pagrarason nito sa akin. Pilit n'yang pinapungay ang mga mata para magpa-awa, but I've seen those deceiving eyes fooled my mother; so many times even I have learned.

Tinigasan ko ang sarili't pinalakas ang loob saka sinabing, "Bumalik kayo sa droga bago pa man mawala si Mama. Nangako ka na hindi ka na uulit. Huwag mo gawing rason ang pagkamatay ni Mama sa bisyong hindi mo maiwan-iwanan."

Mabilis niyang hinawakan ng mahigpit ang braso ko matapos umusog papalapit sa akin. Fear immediately swallowed my whole system and I could only pray for my safety despite the room full of lights, calming sounds playing, and its people chattering like there's nothing bad happening. My voice betrayed me long before I could even think how to escape this or ask anyone for help.

"Hindi ako adik!" ani niya na ikinangiwi ko lalo dahil sa marahas na paghigpit pa ng hawak niya sa braso ko.

"Excuse me, Ma'am, Sir?" gulat akong napatingin sa tabi kung saan nakatayo si Jacc at agad kong naramdaman ang pagluwag ng paghawak sa braso ko. Halo-halo man ang nasa isip ko't 'di mawari ang nararamdaman ay 'di rin nakatakas iyong matalim at may lalim na tingin ni Jacc kay Tito Melwin.

"Wala kang kwenta!" asik ni Tito Melwin at kasabay non ay ang matatalim na mga mata nito saka s'ya tumayo at mabilis na umalis.

I saw both frustration and a state of loss in his eyes. He's on the wrong path and he's been there for a long time so I fear he might have forgotten what is wrong and bad.

Dalawa lang sila ni Mama ang magkapatid at tanda ko kung paano umiyak si Mama noon tuwing bibisitahin si Tito Melwin sa rehabilitation center. Sinisisi niya ang sarili kung bakit humantong sa ganoong punto si Tito dahil aniya'y responsibilidad niya raw ang kapatid gayong lumaki silang halos wala ng magulang.

Almost a year before Mama passed when Tito Melwin went out of rehab. Akala namin lahat ay ayos na, pero hindi pa nakaka-apat na buwan ay nagsimula nang magrelapse ito. Hindi na rin namin nagawang asikasuhin dahil sa paglala ng sakit ni mama.

I felt something cold in my arms. Napatingin ako roon at nakitang may nakadamping isang cup na puno ng yelo. Sinundan ko ng tingin ang may hawak no'n at nakita si Jacc. He spoke no words and his eyes gives nothing as it only stares deeply in my arms.

With my blurry eyes, I looked at my arms and bruises were there. Mabilis akong magkaroon ng pasa sa katawan na s'yang pinagkaingat-ingatan ng nanay ko mula pa nung bata ako. My skin is fair that makes the bruises even more noticeable.

I held my tears back with all I can, but my strength all turned to ash the moment Tito Melwin walked away. I couldn't help my tears, but let it flow. It was the painful memories and fears that every tear shouts as it falls.

For a moment, I felt numb. Then, my cheeks were greeted by a warm and gentle hand despite its callousedness. My eyes immediately looked up only to find warmth in his. It was strange how he felt cold earlier, but now feels like a longtime summer.

"Dito ka lang. Patapos na shift ko," sabi nito sa akin at saka marahang ipinalit ang kamay ko sa kamay n'yang hawak 'yung cup ng yelo.

There was finality in his tone that made me feel like he decided rather than me for my own.

A part of me blames myself for not looking after Tito like Mama did, but another part of me reasoned how I am not responsible with his own actions and decisions in life. I know the words he said to me were empty despite it being hurtful, but I couldn't just let it all go away after hearing those from him.

I used the tissue on the table to wipe my tears at saka ko napansin ang itim na panyo. I know it's Jacc's, but I used the tissue instead.

It was a good fifteen minutes when I finally calm down and he came back. Hindi na ito naka-uniporme tulad kanina at tanging itim na t-shirt at pantalon ang suot nito.

He stood beside me and held out his hand. I placed the handkerchief on his palm and stand. Kita ko 'yung pagngiti n'ya sa ginawa ko na parang halos nakakatawa 'yun.

Tiningnan ko ito na para bang nagtatanong kung bakit at tanging iling lang ang natanggap ko. He kept his handkerchief in his pocket and held me softly in my arms as I stood as if I'm something that'll break and shatter anytime soon.

We then walked out of the café with only silence bonding us both.