how can i hate you?- Chris Sturniolo

16

Chris pov

I rush into my bed that Matt doesn't want to share with me anymore. Understandable. I close my diary and put it on the bed side table knowing no one will touch it. I cry thought out the night. Knowing I fucked up big time. I'm staying asleep making sure that Y/n is safe. I'm scared. 

Nick pov 

Of course we are both pissed our brother. So me and Matt wake up in the middle of the night to talk about it. Then we reach to grab our phone on the bed side table and we notice some journal. I open it up where a book mark is. Holy shit Chris has I dairy. We read what the most recent entry is. We read or together quietly. We are shook. We're both in tears after we read that. We both run to the 24 hour post office and grab a bag and put the diary in with a note. 

Hey y/n,

We miss you. Read the bookmarked diary entry that Chris wrote.

From

Matt and Nick

We sealed it up and we put her address and shit and we sent it to her hotel she is staying in. We figured that out from the snap map. We rush back to the hotel and we are still shocked about the sad shit that he wrote. 

Who knew Chris was such poet?

THREE DAY TIME SKIP

Y/n Pov

I've been sittinf in my bed the past four days the triplets have been gone. It has not been fun. I haven't taken a shower since. Until I hear a knock on my hotel room door. I open it. 

 "Hello!" The old man smiles

 "Hi." I yawn 

 "Something came in the mail for you." He hands me the package and leaves 

 I close the door and I lock it. I hold the package tightly and sit on the chair near the desk. I put the package down on the desk and grab the pen. I put the pen in the paper bag package and I tear it being extra careful. I couldn't give a shit to read who it was from in the front of the package. I open it completely and a letter falls out of the bag and a journal? I read to note first. 

Hey y/n,

We miss you. Read the bookmarked diary entry that Chris wrote. 

From

Matt and Nick

I sigh. I flip to the bookmarked entry trying not to get a glimpse of the other pages. I'm not nosy. I make my way to the bookmarked diary entry. I setle in. 

Dear shitty old diary,

God fuck my life. I feel like I'm doing nothing with my life and everyday it gets worse. I fuck up everything and in one day the whole world comes crashing down. Its all my fault and I just fucking hate myself right now. But I need to write down my emotions.

I understand why my brothers won't fucking talk to me. I understand why Y/n won't text me.

I feel like all of this shit that has happened to me was well deserved. You may be thinking. You fucking cheated on her. Yeah I know that but I was forced to do my girlfriend didn't get hurt. The one who I actually love and I don't want to see her get hurt. I love she means everything to me. But fuck that she leaves us and I totally understand why she did something like that I'm the biggest jerk there is and was.