Suhana Khan. Only daughter of Bollywood King, Shah Rukh Khan and wife Gauri Khan. Suhana is off to her college/university, NYU in New York City. Join her through her journey of adventure, love, laughter and excitement.
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"How much did you drink last night?" I looked up from my cereal when my brother asked me. "Not much" I replied to him.
"Why?" I asked. "Was I too out of it?" I asked as I took a spoonful of cereal. "Not last night but you look out of it now" He told me.
"You good?" He asked out of concern. "Yeah I was just thinking" I sighed. "Uh oh you thinking that's not good" He joked.
I rolled my eyes and continued my breakfast. "If you're nervous that's completely normal" He said softly.
"Were you?" I asked. My brother was not the type of be nervous a lot but the way he was talking right now made me think otherwise.
"Yeah I was" He told me. "It's not easy living on your own" I nodded. "But at least you have an apartment" He looked around shaking his head.
"Wha- we have a house in LA you just refuse to live in it" I retaliated. "I know but our parents didn't buy it for me" He pouted.
"Okay come on last day before I go back" He grabbed his hoodie and pulled it on. We headed out on the street and walked around, exploring.
"Bhaiyya" I tugged on his hoodie to get his attention. "Hm" His focus remained on the scenery he was capturing on his camera.
"Have you ever had a relationship that you didn't know if it was a relationship" I asked him softly. He put his phone down and turned to me.
"What why're you asking this?" He asked me. I just shrugged and continued walking around Central Park.
"Wha-Suhana you can't just say something like that and walk off" He caught up to me. "I was just wondering that's all" I told him.
"Are you in this situation?" I didn't answer. I couldn't tell him the complete truth because he would want to know who.
Telling him that I'm involved with his best friend is simply inviting trouble. I chose to remain silent. He sighed when he realised I wasn't replying him.
"Alright fine don't tell me" He said. "I'll tell you something instead" I turned to listen to him. We walked under tall trees and a clear blue sky.
"There was this boy who had a little crush on a girl" I giggled as he started narrating his story. "And they got along very well" I listened to him with a smile.
"They joked around together, they ate together, they slep-" I whipped my head towards him. "um never mind" He stopped himself.
"The point is they were very close" I laughed at his attempt to cover up. "But unfortunately, the guy didn't have the guts to officially confess" He continued.
"And the girl maybe didn't take him seriously and one day the guy saw her with another guy" My smile dropped when I sensed the seriousness in his tone.
Until now he was narrating the story as a joke. I wasn't familiar with this tone. "For quite some time the guy kept thinking it was his fault for not saying anything" He softly said.
"Then the guy realised wait a minute it's not just me" The way he was talking to me didn't seem like the brother I knew.
"There wasn't a single possibility of the girl not knowing the guy's feelings" He simply said.
"So if she decided to move on to someone else then why am I blaming myself" He told me.
"Bhaiyya?" He turned to me. "Are you still blaming yourself?" I asked bluntly. "A little" He told me.
"Suhana what I'm trying to say is know your own feelings" He explained. "If you like the guy and want more simply tell him" He advised.
"But if you think he isn't the one then move on BUT" He warned. "Tell him first. Make it clear" I understood what my brother was telling me.
"Thanks bhaiyya" I hugged his arm. "By the way who is th-" "Nuh uh" He interrupted me before I could ask my question.
"If you don't tell, I don't tell" I clicked my tongue. "Fine forget it" I gave in. "Wow you absolutely love prying into my dating life, this guy must be some secret"
It was true. Any other situation and I would anything to know the girl's name but not this time.
I didn't want bhaiyya to know this was about Ahaan. He would either kill me or him. I sat on one of the benches as I pondered over my brother's advice.
"Here" I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard his voice. "Thanks" I took the tacos he held out in his hand.
"Mhm I've missed these" I laughed at his love for food. He was easily the biggest foodie in our family.
"Listen I wanted to tell you something" He got my attention. He was back to being serious big brother.
"Look uhm you know what happened with Vogue" I looked away when I remembered the backlash I got.
"There always will be comments like that" He told me. "But that can't stop you from doing what you love" He said.
"You love acting right?" He asked. "Ever since you wrote that short story and I performed it for our parents" I reminded him.
He chuckled as he continued. "Good that means nothing should get in your way" He placed his hand on the bench.
"You can't change the background you come from" I listened to him carefully. "All you can do and all you should do at this point is study and work hard" He advised.
"That's all your job is now. Learn well and come to the industry prepared" I sensed a hint of papa in his words. He was becoming more like him each day.
"There going to be a lot of drawbacks and hate comments you just have to push through them by reminding yourself of your passion" He explained.
"Make use of your privilege Suhana. Ma and Papa worked really hard to give all of this to us. We can't just throw it away" He advised.
My brother is not a fan of having deep conversations but that doesn't mean he isn't good at them.
I stood in front of the airport with my brother. It was time for his flight. He needed to get to LA before Monday since classes were starting.
"Bye idiot" He leaned down to hug me. I tightened my grip around him. I was going to miss him so much.
"Bye bhaiyya" I said softly. "Oh if you're gonna cry I'm gonna pretend I don't know you" He backed away dramatically.
"Whatever just go" I rolled my eyes. "Take care" He kissed my cheek before heading off. I watched him disappear into the airport.
I immediately dialled Ahaan's number. I took bhaiyya's advice seriously and didn't want to waste any time.
"Hello?" I took a deep breath when I heard his voice over the phone. "Ahaan I just wanted you to know please don't have any hopes from my end"
"I don't want to lead you on" I said softly. He didn't say anything but I knew he was listening. "I don't have time for romance please understand"
I hung up the call and walked towards the street. I hailed a cab and soon enough I was driving into a new chapter of my life.
