Between Truths ║Dahkook║K.DH J.JK

rain after prayers

CHAPTER XVII

His words played in her head, a broken record. 'Will you mourn me?' There was no reason for them to haunt her, but they sounded like her father's sorrow.

She had not mourned him, and he must have known it even with the unassailable distance between them; between life and death. But he would never know that she was not strong enough to grieve—it was why she did not allow herself to stand before it. He would never guess that her knees were almost to the ground, weak, while he made her promise with his last breath to stay strong for her mother and brother.

Kim Seungmin.

It was her fault he was broken. He had not needed her to weather the storm. She should have trusted him to meet her at the end of it, on his own ship. Instead, she had dragged him into hers, and he was flung around because of the harsh waters, at the beat of her sailing. She should have let him grief the way he wanted. Even if it might have taken him long to come out of it, at least he would not be a shattered shard of thousands of him.

Now that he could do nothing and she had to hold his hand, she wanted to let go. Because it was tiring her. Pleading him to wake each morning, pushing him to eat and wash, dragging him to school, and fighting him to live. His eyes—they were a hallow grey. Empty of more than tears.

She paused at the sudden soundlessness. Her car lost its trenchant speed in the middle of the highway despite her ramming the gas pedal. The many warning signs on her dashboard blinked red and orange at her.

'No, no, not now, not here.'

Her mounting panic became as silent as the engine quietened.

'Think, Dahyun. Get to the side.'

So, she signalled, headed towards the shoulders. They were lanes away. Her eyes darted around as cars shot past with no thoughts for her. She cut through them decided, and inconsiderate. They sounded their horns then, braking and angry, but she could spare no further thoughts to their feelings—or hers.

She should be glad that she made it to the shoulders with only a slight jut of her rear end. It was what she had hoped for. Yet, clouds of new worries hovered above her. They kept whirling around her, not quite a harmless breeze. She should stand outside—it was what the highway code said. But she stayed in her seat. The car trembled each time a heavy truck hurtled past, always so close. But she could not convince herself that anything was safer than this.

Was it because death had brushed her hands when it took something important away from her? Was that why she can't keep it out of her mind? With shaky hands, she tried to start the car. It struggled hopefully but the note ended dead.

'Lord, please.'

Dahyun swallowed her frustration. It was ludicrous for her to have thought to be angry and disappointed in Him. She needed Him severely still. She thought that she had unshackled the anchor of misery when she had let her father go. But with how she was pelted with more misfortune, it was more like her father had taken their home with him when he left, and there was nothing sheltering them from the hail anymore.

'Try again. If it doesn't start—later. Think of that later...'

The window on the passenger's side thudded with three firm knocks. She turned, confused. The flurried wind around her heart calmed the moment she laid her eyes on him.

'Jungkook—warm Jungkook, steady Jungkook.'

He signed to her locked door, and she rushed to unlock them.