Lost In Your Footsteps

Confidence

~Andrew~ 

The next day, Jamie didn't come to school. I had to spend lunch sitting alone with assholes behind me throwing shit at me while their whole posse snickered about who could make the most irrelevant insult. It made me wonder what life at school was like for Jamie before I arrived here. 

He spoke about some kids he didn't like because of bullying, but nothing as extreme as what happened in the locker room. I shook the thought away, looking outside towards the window at the empty courtyard calling my name. Keaton has the same lunch as me but I never bothered to sit with him since Jamie would rather stay away from that crowd, which is understandable.

Keaton is a great person but around his friends, he could become loud and rowdy, maybe not as bad as the other guys but loud nonetheless. Looking down at my pitiful lunch tray, I fooled with the green beans, watching the fork push them this way and that. My stomach churned and grumbled but after yesterday I couldn't put anything down.

Mrs.Jones made the most delicious smelling pizza for dinner and after one bite I threw up, the sauce looking a little too much like Jamie's blood on the locker room floor. I threw my fork down onto my plate before standing up and deciding to walk to the library. As I walked out I felt another piece of food hit my back but paid no mind, instead, exiting with a shaky breath. 

The library was my heaven, and if God was real he'd make it look just like this. My eyes came into contact with the lady behind the counter, her smile sweet as always before I continued making my way to my favorite bean pillow in the corner behind the shelves of my favorite genre. Romance. 

I snatched a random book today, the book sliding off the shelf labeled, 'S', referring to the initial of the author's last name. Plopping down onto the bean pillow, I flipped the book over to take a good look at the cover. 'The Gravity of Us' Phil Stamper,  highlighted the front of the book which floated above the heads of two boys. 

Two boys?

I flipped back to read the description. 

'-Teen boys find love-'

'-Cal meets sensitive and mysterious Leon-'

'-falling head over heels--fast-'

My face grew hot, the sudden feeling of violation of privacy becoming overwhelming. I slammed the book, front cover first into the bean pillow, looking all around the library to make sure no one saw me. Kids quietly sat at computers and other teenagers whispered gossip to pass the time in a peaceful environment. Not a single person was watching me. 

I took deep breaths, closing my eyes before I felt a jerk at my shoulder. 

"AH-" A hand covered my mouth. My eyes flew open to burn with fresh tears and the sight of a terrified Keaton looking back. 

"Shh shhh shh it's okay I'm not a serial killer just please don't scream I'm already on a thin line with the librarian," Keaton hastily whispered with a finger to his lip, his eyes clenching shut. My heart rate relaxed momentarily before remembering the book that lay at my side, my body heating up in embarrassment. 

"Mph!" I grabbed the book swiftly, moving my butt to sit on it and cover the evidence. Evidence of what I have no idea but the last thing I needed was Keaton making fun of me and getting the wrong idea. He slowly peeled his hand off my mouth, my tongue instinctively coming out to moisten my lips. His eyes followed my movement before curiosity bloomed and he scrutinized me in the eye with perplexity.

"What did you just hide?"

"Why would I hide anything moron we're in a library and you're the one handing out heart attacks like homework." I hissed, my face becoming hotter than I demanded. Keaton's green orbs flickered over my features, watching as my blush became more and more evident.