Into Another Space [Completed]

1

                         A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep-Cinderella

The universe hates me.

For more than half of my life it has kept me in a rut. A never ending cycle.

As I watched my peers pass big milestones and move on to new chapters in their lives, I was stuck in Chapter one.

A monotone one. Not the kind that gets readers hooked from the first sentence. Nope. I was stuck in that one that starts off with such a bad hook that the book is put down and never picked up again.

For others, everyday is a new day.

For me. There is no every day. It's just one really really long day that's lasted several years.

I watched in envy as my friends got to look forward to doing new things; getting married, having their first kid, the job promotion that financed the big family vacation, even retirement on some beach in Guam.

I looked forward to my movies and sleeping even though it's kind of rare since I have a bad case of the insomnia like some old man.

Hold on. I frown running a hand over my face. I turn thirty in two weeks.

I am an old man.

I groan just as my iphone's alarm goes off ever so obnoxiously. Why are iphone alarms so much louder than other kinds of phones? I wouldn't put it past the Apple company's alarm to wake up half of the nation if it wanted to.

"Shut up," I mutter rolling over on my stomach. I grab my iphone off of the nightstand and turn it on.

6:30:00

I have been awake for five whole hours that ticked by ever so slowly. Every passing moment taunting and torturing me because time knew I couldn't ever relax enough to fall in a deep, blissful sleep. So it teased me over and over again by ticking away as slow as it could possibly go without raising suspicion.

I am on to you, time.

I tap the SNOOZE button then bury my head in my pillow. I wish the pillow would take a life of its own and suffocate me to death in the quickest way possible.

School starts in exactly half an hour.

Inwardly I scream and kick like a kid in the middle of a tantrum instead of a full-grown adult.

Inwardly I list off my 'I do nots'.

I do not want to be awake right now. I do not want to go to school today. I do not want to deal with society today.

I do not. I do not. I do not.

I just hate everybody and everything right now.

Could the world exist with nobody except me...? Because I would like that very much.

I would love waking up everyday and going through the motions of this life until I died without so much as ever bumping into a single soul.

I am constantly alone anyway, so it wouldn't make such a huge difference.

Five minutes later when the alarm comes back on, I turn it off and sit up.

"Bring me something good today," I say to the ceiling even though my prayer is futile.

Everyday is the exact same.

I have no anticipation whatsoever that today will be any different than all the rest.

Do I even know what I want out of life anymore?

And since when do I pray?

I must be desperate out of my mind.