Just A Daddy's Girl

My loss Part 3

enjoy

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I ran out of the morgue and straight down the hall in which I came and out the exit. 

James and the doctor weren't far behind. I wasn't stopping for no one, not until I was in my safe place. I ran and got into the nearest empty taxi. 

Me and the driver were in silence, I was great full for the fact he weren't one of those chatty cabbie drivers. When we pulled up I told him to wait, I went in and got some money to pay the taxi driver. 

Once I handed him his money I headed back for the house. I went straight past my room and went straight to my dad's room. 

I placed the envelope down on his bed and went to put his clothes on. I found his favourite tracksuit jumper and bottoms and put them on. 

I smelt of my dad as he had recently worn them, it felt as if he had never left. I took my shoes off and started to head down to the beach with the envelope in hand.

I got down to the beach and found an already made fire; it was one that me and my dad had built earlier on that week. I set it alight so it could burn throughout the night, it would keep me company tonight. 

I went and sat in my dad's armchair and tucked my feet up. I had a good light so I could read the letters he wrote. On the front of the A4 envelope read:

 "To my angel"

I felt the tears begin to start but I fought them back with great difficulty. Today has been a very long day; I kept asking myself will I ever get to sleep tonight. I began to open the envelope and found 8 letters in envelopes and a post-it note inside. The post-it note had all the important numbers I would need, the funeral directors number, bank details, transfer numbers and people I may need to get in touch with. I was surprised I saw my mum's number on there; I haven't spoken to her in 5years. I looked through the envelopes and they had the days of the week on all except one. The odd letter said 'open me first'. I began to open the envelope and pulled 2 sheets out of it. The letter read:

27th December 2011

Dear Sami,

If you're reading this then I am no longer with you anymore and I'm sorry for that angel. I couldn't hold on any longer. I hope we made it passed your birthday and I was there to see you blow out your 18 candles. Angel I didn't know how I was going to tell you, I wanted to be strong for you. You're a smart girl you would have figured it out and pieced it all together. 

I hope you see the reason behind this. I don't think I could of told you, I mean how do you tell a daughter that there dad has got cancer and has not even half a year to live, I'm so sorry princess. 

The time we spent together was magical and the girl you have turned out to be would make any father proud. I am gonna miss the long walks on Fridays and the films you would choose. It reminds me of when we first moved in, we were in the cafe and you asked if we could go for a walk on the beach. 

I said "course angel, and hey what about from now on every Friday without fail we have a walk on the beach or sit on the decking and then watch a film" you answered straight away and since then we haven't missed a day, you should be proud. 

Listen, go easy on Dr. Ravenswood will you I know your probably thinking the old sod could of told you but don't be mad at him, he told me to tell you but I couldn't and I told him not to say a word. Angel I have also asked someone else from the hospital to help you get through this.