3rd pov
"you're dairy intolerance? Or whatever that's called..." Lucifer asked
"yeah, I am..." klione swiftly answers.
"why is this generation so weak?" Lucifer grunted, "back at my day, allergies and intolerances are weaknesses."
"oh.."
"I remember that one time I went to a Cafe, wanting a coffee and a walk before a big meeting... I ordered a milk based coffee since I like-"
"sweets. Lots, and lots of sweets." dice said.
"yeah, sweet. Then the girl behind the counter asked what milk option I want, I thought it's like 'heavy milk or sweetened milk?' but then she pulled a NOTEBOOK. And reads..." Lucifer cleared his throat, "would you like cows milk, goat milk, Austria milk, cashew milk, almond milk, and other options I can't remember since eit was SO FUCKING LONG."
"what the fuck is an Austria milk?" law asked.
"I don't know either, and I just stared at her, I guess my expressions say 'wtf' but I doubt it was blank" Lucifer shrugged, "and she asks. Her AUDACITY BITCHINESS ASKED 'are you lactose intolerance sir?' and I just lost it. Of course kept my cool but in my mind I'm screaming: 'WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS GIRL DOING?! MILKING NUTS?! MIGHT AS WELL MILK A DICK!'..."
They laughed, such a chill dude loosing it over milk.
"and I just answered 'I want it from a nipple please.' it slipped I know I sound like a pervert but that's what I mustered. And she stared at me like I'm some creep... YOU'RE THE FREAK NOT ME! YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS MILKING NUTS AND TREES IN THE BACK! YOU'RE THE FREAK!"
"that sounded so wrong..." dice casually whispered.
"but then I remembered the last time I went to autonitica, I stood on the side as I waited my sweet bliss coffee, a girl asked on the register 'hello, what are the milk options?' and the guy behind the bar just stared at her and went 'hot. Or cold.' it's not even a question!"
"that guy will probably be on his list of people to let go." (y/n) mentioned.
"back in my day, intolerance and fucking allergies were seen as weakness! Then I saw this kid, I think he was also lactose intolerance... Said 'I'm not weak! Watch me!' two sips of milk, dead." Lucifer said.
"fucking hell?"
"no one even stopped him! That's how people thought back in the day! This generation is so weak, being called a gay hoe is the biggest insult you can ever have!" Lucifer yelled, "but seriously though... If you're gay, no problem... Hell is queer friendly" Lucifer said calmly.
"that sounded like an advertisement" law said
"because it is" Lucifer grinned.
"is your father always like this?" shachi asked
"yes. And no." (y/n) said.
"what do you mean?"
"yes" dice muttered.
"and people say I'm insane" (y/n) looked at dice who slowly nods with a hum.
"eh, you and your father are both insane, nothing changed" dice grinned..
"uh... Like you aren't?"
"I'm not, I'm actually not"
(y/n) just stared at him with an obvious look.
"says the one who receives enjoyment from other people's misery" (y/n) mumbled.
Later....
"I don't need sleep! I need answers!" Lucifer yelled.
"answers to what?" dice asked
"why this mofo fucking made my daughter kiss him!" Lucifer points at law who's actually right next to him.
"what? Oh..." law hummed
"pfft... Who even told you?"
"Wilbur"
"ahh yes, what a snitch" (y/n) hummed, "you sent dream as well, right? Yeah he called me"
"that snitch." dice grumbled.
"speaking of which..." Lucifer grabbed law by his collar and yanked him up, "why'd you do that?"
"because one, I can, and two, I kinda liked how she kissed my cheek" law grinned
Lucifer was taken aback, everyone was.
Except for (y/n) who was distracted by the outside world to even give a damn about what's going on.
On the part of Lucifer, let dramatize it:
Oh my gosh! How dare he, a fucking stupid commoner, request a kiss from his lovely, beautiful, goddess, daughter?! Is he insane?!
Yes. That's how Lucifer thinks
Meanwhile dice is just:
Oh, what? Really? No way, okay... Cool? Sure, whatever. He did WHAT?!
Law was just grinning like the Cheshire cat.
I mean... In his defense, it was true.
Dice was fine with it, kind of happy (y/n) would find a boyfriend, and what not, while Lucifer, he's that overprotective father type.
But despise that, law was more than honored to grin against the devil himself for even as small as touching his daughter.
"oh (y/n)-ya, you're father's trying to kill me~" law called dramatically
"father, put him down." (y/n) ordered/demanded.
"(y/n)!"
"I mean it" she turned to glare at him, her glare was more intense than his so he automatically lost.
Lucifer dropped law to the ground and pouted
(y/n) softly laughed
"it's alright father, even someone with a high status as yourself should learn how to respect people. And besides, it was just a kiss. There's nothing malicious in it" (y/n) rolled her eyes.
"but (y/n)--!!" Lucifer cried.
"what? Because I'm your 'lovely demon Belle'? No wonder aunt puffy calls me a brat"
"she does?!" dice yelled.
"chill, it's alright" (y/n) hums
Later that night...
"your parents are very protective of you, aren't they?" law asked.
"oh, it's just a mechanic of theirs... Dad was left behind by his own family, while father... He's lonely because he's the ruler of hell. Both have reasons to cling to someone" (y/n) briefly explains
"I know and I understand their situation, but aren't they a bit overprotective?" law muttered
"it's okay, I've gotten used to it and I'm just glad they're here for me whatever happens" (y/n) smiled
"your parents... Are they immortal?" law asked
"yes they are"
"so... You're immortal as well?"
"nope. I'm a mere human like you, although I do posses magic myself, I'm still human" she smiled sweetly.
"say, you look beautiful with your glasses off, have you ever considered wearing contacts?" law asked while taking off her glasses
"I have contacts actually, it's just hard to put them off and on"
"really? Well, either way... You'd look beautiful with your glasses on or off." law smiled
"awh... Thank you"
