After April First

19

While working at Taco Bell, all I can think about is my time at Lily's house. It was going well at first, but then things got awkward. When we hugged, I thought things were good again, but how can I be sure? In short, it was a roller coaster afternoon.
I get done making someone's beefy 5-layer burrito and then I'm on break. I use the time to call Lily. She picks up on the fourth ring.
"Hey," she says. "What's up? I thought you were at work."
"I am, but I have a 15-minute break."
"Okay. So why're you calling? I saw you like two hours ago," she laughs, her tone light and breezy.
"I was just making sure we're okay."
"What do you mean?"
"Things seemed kinda off today."
When there's a pause, I can tell she's thinking about what to say. "I guess," she replies at last.
"I don't know, I just wanted every-thing to be perfect and then..."
"It wasn't?" she finishes.
"Yeah. I mean, things were going so well, and then it got...weird."
"I was thinking the same thing."
"Really?"
"Yeah. And I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For...not wanting to kiss you." She pauses, gathering her thoughts. "It's not that I don't like you or anything, but after the whole thing with Ben...I can't trust anyone. I wish it wasn't like this, but I think all we'll ever be is friends. I'm sorry."
My mind is swimming and I want to punch something or cry. I don't know which one. This wasn't how I wanted the conversation to go. I wanted to figure out what went wrong, then ask her out. But instead, she tells me that we can never be anything other than friends. Can this day get any worse?