Pearled Oysters Volume 2

~4~ Conversations

       All seven of us stood silently in the sterile white room. I squeezed Hayami's hand and kissed her shoulder. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Haru standing in the very back of the group. This time she held a bouquet of violets and lilies, but what never changed every time we came was her wordless sobs and her head hanging in a rather lifeless manner. She hadn't even let Kageroshi touch her since that day. I was a little grateful for that. Hayami hadn't been entirely wrong for yelling at Haru when she learned the exact events that led up to the accident, and yet I didn't want it to be the thing that ripped their friendship apart. Though looking back at it, something was bound to happen between them.
The real question is: did Haru actually consciously like Ume back and just thought she was straight? Or were both unaware that they felt that way until the day of the accident?
       Either way, it was clearly too late now. She not only had moved on, but had hidden her new relationship only to be discovered in the worst way. Now we were all facing the consequences. But I wouldn't let any of us face them alone. It was something we needed to face together, even if some aspects were more individualised. We were a family. And we owed it to Ume and Natsu.
      I felt Hayami's hand tighten around my own. It was almost time. I nodded and then looked into the room one last time. In the otherwise silent room the medical equipment beeped rhythmically. Ume, still in bandages for all the cuts and scrapes she had gotten as well as her leg in a cast, was still holding the free hand of the still unconscious Natsu as she tenderly caressed his head. I still couldn't believe what the boy had accomplished after being hit by a car, all thanks to his body having been flooded with adrenaline. How had he been able to move let alone take a Ume into that love hotel and bandage each other a bit before finally losing consciousness? It actually terrified me. I couldn't imagine being able to do that. If Hayami was ever in danger I would be willing to try, but this... this was like something from a shonen.
      "They said it would only be a few more days. Then we'll be allowed to go home."
       Even though she was talking to us, Ume refused to take her eyes from Natsu.
       "Thank you... for coming to make sure we were alright. And Taha, tell your dad thank you for us."
        None of us spoke. It was the same way she had said it since she had woken herself. It was her way of saying she wanted to be alone with Natsu. So like always, we obeyed without a word. And again like the few times before, Haru came slowly in as we backed away. She went to put the flowers on a table that rested out of Ume's eyesight. But this time, things changed. I noticed that like whenever Haru entered the room, Ume gripped Natsu's hand a bit tighter. This time however, she didn't purposely look in the exact opposite direction. This time she turned and stared chilled death at the girl she had once been in love with.
       "I think it would be best if you and Natsu switched desks when we get back to class. I should have taken your advice on that before. So you don't have to pretend to worry about me anymore. After all, I think we finally know where each of us really stand, don't we...? Right. We should grow up. It's what you wanted... right, Harumi-san?"
       I had to hold Hayami from stepping in. Ume was being cruel by not saying it outright, but we all knew that this was a break-up. Even though she was friends with both of them, Hayami could not get involved in this. Still... I was surprised that Ume was going this far. She wasn't just saying they were done. She was outright telling Haru that she no longer saw the girl as anything beyond another classmate. It was as though she was trying to slap Haru with the fact that she had chosen to hide the relationship. But even though she clearly wanted to blame Haru, I could see a shadow of self hatred in her tear filled eyes. Staring at the destruction of these two, I knew that there was much more than was being said going on.
As anyone could see coming, Haru stood as a meek sentinel against the harshness of Ume's implications. Until she spoke her full first name. That caused her to finally meet eyes with her former friend.
"Get out, Kurosawa-san! I don't need a bitch like you!!"
Even though she didn't physically respond to it at first, there was no way that the way Ume said Haru's last name could be anything less than a backhanded slap. Haru dropped the flowers and ran out of the hospital room. I was a little surprised when she turned towards the direction of the stairs without saying anything. She even prevented Kageroshi from going with her. The exchange between the once meek and docile girl and the woman who broke her heart held the rest of us in captive silence until moments later we could easily hear the screams of Haru's own shredded heart from the stairwell.
"You all should go."
"Ume, what you ju—"
"Now, Kabehana-san! This is a private affair. I ask that if you remain my friend, you respect that and leave how I deal with her to me, Kageroshi-san, and Natsu-kun."
It was Hayami's turn to prevent me from saying anything. It was one thing to pull that heartless crap towards Haru who had run from her feelings and lied to cover it up. If little busty Tanaka-san was trying to turn that on Kageroshi, I'd not have anything to say... but she was coming after my Hayami. Before I could say anything Hayami pulled me away. We were only a few feet from the room when I heard Kageroshi finally speak. It was with Yua's voice... and she was pissed.
"Those girls all love you. The one screaming? She's never going to stop— wanting to be right by your side... I wish you all the best. Don't ever hurt Natsu. I tend to lose my shit when people try to hurt those I care about. Haru will see you later."
With that she stormed the opposite direction of the stairs and waited at elevators with a scowl that spoke violence. I didn't get to see Ume's reaction as she had turned her back when I looked from the fuming Yua to her position in the room. But even though I didn't see her face, I could see the quiver in her hunched shoulders that said she was crying. In the end all that seemed to come from the years those two had spent silently pining after each other was the utter destruction of their bond and the toxic pain that they threw at any who stepped in their range... all because they still didn't say how they really felt. Seeing that I turned to Hayami.
       "Stay outside this room. Ume will need someone to talk to."
       Before I got a step away she grabbed my hand.
      "Where—"
      "You need to listen to Ume. I have someone of my own to talk to in private."
       She gave my hand a squeeze before nodding and letting go. We both had our roles to play in this. And it was time I spoke to Harumi myself. While the rest of the group joined Kageroshi at the elevators, Hayami leaned against the wall next to the door of Natsu's room. I took a deep breath and headed for the still audible screams of pain and self hatred. It was time to be completely honest.
Haru was not right inside the stairwell. Instead I found her huddled on the top of the final stair case to the roof.
"I know exactly what you're going through."
I kept my distance and used a soft tone as I stood below her so she only had to listen to me and didn't have to worry about how she looked.
"Go away, your relationship nearly imploded before it was off the ground and yet you two clung to each other despite that. How would you know what I'm dealing with?"
      Her words were shaky, deeper in pitch than normal, and the coarse fraying of a sore throat bit at edges. All proof that it had really been her who had been wailing. Upon hearing her speak I took a deep breath and began telling her one of my secrets.
"Because I didn't tell my first love that I was with Mari until I almost lost her. Oh and I left in the middle of hanging out with her the night I first met you and Ume."
"What?!"
"Yep... and I showed her the rings I was going to propose to Mari with."
       There was the second of a scoff cut off by the aftermath of her previous screaming.
"Can't you do anything at a reasonable pace?!"
Valid, though we have made progress...
"That's not the point here."
"Enlighten me."
       Even though she couldn't see me, I felt the need to turn my face towards the wall as I spoke.
"The day before I came to you for help with getting Mari back. I told my best friend. I had the biggest crush on her, but I was so sure she was straight. Turns out she is a lesbian though prefers nonsexual relationships. She had harboured a crush on me too, but assumed it was just a desire for friendship... until she learned I wasn't single and was living with the girl I was seeing. She... it did not go well at all. She was sobbing when I last saw her. That's why I went to talk to Natsu first. I hated myself not just for causing her pain, but for not telling her my feelings before. I wanted Natsu to fight me so I could have the beating she wanted to give me."
I let that hang in the air. I hadn't even seen Rui since I bailed on shopping to find out Hayami's phone number. And we had always talked about everything. So her reaction had startled me. She actually looked like she was going to try to kill me. In the end it took Senji and Aya to pull her away and comfort her. I owed them all for everything they did for me growing up.
"We only recently started talking to each other again... and... I'm going to have Mari meet her. Once that happens I intend to tell her about my crush on Rui. It might not go well, but I need to actually say to my first love that I was in love with her and part of that remains. And I need to make it clear to Mari that I will always choose her. Even though she... that doesn't matter."
     There was a long tense stretch of absolute silence between us before I heard Haru's voice again.
"Your story have a point?"
"You're the inverse of how I was."
"...?"
     At her questioning sound, I ran up to where I was finally looking at her from the foot of the final staircase. Her face was flushed and her eyes were red from heavy crying.
"Don't make me spell it out for you. I know you're not that big of an idiot."
      That brought a scowl and she rolled her eyes at me as I approached and sat next to her.
"Wow... thanks. I feel so much better. So what now?"
"So I think that you shouldn't give up on her. Show her it's not just guilt keeping you here. Give her time and some space but above all else be completely honest with yourself. Admit your true feelings, even if it's just this once."
       It might have been a half hour or barely a second, but time seemed to pause as she stared at me. It was as though I was telling her to beat the record of an professional athlete on her first attempt at doing the sport. She was so pathetic and vulnerable and for the first time I felt like I was able to see why Ume had fallen for her so hard. All I could do in response to her anxiety was offer the smile of a friend who knew what she was facing. Finally time continued as she took a deep breath and spoke.
     "I'm in love with Kageroshi and Ume. I cannot live without Ume's smile or her touch. I know I that should let her go. But I can't. And I can't bear to have her hate me."
      I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled into a hug.
      "Welcome to the hell of falling in love. There is no escape but you're never alone."
      "Hey... you're saying the word love."
      "Don't tell Mari... she's rubbing off on me."
      "Oooh, give me all the erotic details!"
      "Shut up!"
       "Wait... have you been calling her Mari... without an honorific?! You two have been doing naughty things!! Tell me!!"
        "Fix your own relationships instead of drooling over mine, Otaku!!!"