Pearled Oysters Volume 2

Side story: Haru's Choice

        In my mind I did things differently. In my mind I was the one who saved her from the accident. In my mind there was no accident. In my mind Kage never stopped me from going after her. In my mind it wasn't Kage I was on top of. It was Ume. I knew back then that I was wrong. That Haya-chan was right. I knew I should have told her the second it happened. I should have told her a lot of things before now. But I was a coward.
Better to be quiet than to get rejected, yeah right...only an idiot would think this was better. About three floors below me and two hundred steps to the right is where she's staying with Natsu. Kage is probably back at the apartment. We will probably break up over this, and while I do love them... I don't know if I'd try to stop them. Who would want to keep dating a girl who pulls away and pines after someone who now clearly hates her?
        I slowly opened my eyes. I was still at the hospital. It was still surprising that they let me stay even though I wasn't needing medical attention, but I decided not to poke that hornets nest. They let me stay in an unused room to sleep in, and I did what they asked to help the nurses on the floor Ume and Natsu were on. They also seemed to make sure I was kept informed about the pair. But whenever I asked them about it, they gave me a look that said either I was a fool or expected them to be. I still had no idea what those looks were about, but as I groggily took in the room what I saw made the rest of the world not matter. She was here. Not just in the room with me either. She knelt by my bed with her head centimetres away from my lap. Her hand was so close I could almost hold it.
She's so beautiful even when she's asleep.
As I looked at her sleeping there, I was reminded of that moment when my world ended. It wasn't when she made it clear that she could no longer stand me. It wasn't seeing her cut up and in casts for the injuries she sustained in the accident. It wasn't when I saw the aftermath of the wreck and heard that she had walked in front of the car. It was when I saw the horror and heartbreak in her face and she turned from me to run away. There wasn't even a moment of hesitation for me. As soon as she turned I had reacted. If Kage hadn't grabbed me as soon as they saw her, I would have been the one to chase her down. And maybe I would have been able to stop her in time. I had screamed her name until Kage finally told Natsu to go after her. So much time was lost because that boy had just stood there in shock while I was unable to move. As soon Natsu left, my pain had turned to momentary rage and I started hitting and yelling at Kage for what they did. I couldn't even remember all I said back then as my eyes refocused on the sight of a sleeping and red eyed Ume in front of me. Faint scars marked where her cuts had been, but I still found myself entranced by her beauty.
If she stays like that she'll just hurt herself. Not to mention she won't get any real sleep that way.
Keeping my eyes on her as I moved, I slowly wormed my way out of the other side of the bed. Thankfully I was in my socks and didn't make much sound. I tiptoed carefully around the bed to where she slept. My movement hadn't awakened her but she did start to shift in her sleep as though she was now aware of my absence. Seeing her whole body from this angle was just another form of amazing torture. A reminder that moments like this will soon be nonexistent because of my cowardice and impatience. I had decided not to tell Ume my feelings since middle school. I had decided to give up on her when I saw the tiny spark of something between her and Natsu. I was the one who decided to move on by trying to date Kage because I had a fan girl crush on them. It was my choice to try to hide our relationship from everyone even though we didn't really hide all that well. And it was my idea to finally have sex after watching Ume clinging to Natsu at school. All because I was scared of her telling me she just liked me as a friend or worse like a sister, I destroyed my chances for what I really wanted. I sighed and resigned myself to only getting to see her from a distance now. I had pushed for her to get things started with Natsu because that was what a best friend was supposed to do, and now I had to watch that grow without me around. I'd be a spectator on her life. But for right now I was still a part of it.
Trying to scoop her up and onto the bed was already difficult. Hayami was the real athlete and Kumi was oddly terrifying at times. Ume was the mature looking beauty even though she hid it around others. For all my brashness and style, I was really just the skinny geek who happened to be cute enough to pull off the gyaru look. I was the odd one out for the group. And the weakest. Ume being dead to the world and my not wanting to wake her just added to the difficulty. Yet I still tried.
"Mmmm... Haru..."
At the sound of her saying my name, I froze halfway into tucking her in. Looking down, there wasn't any question that she was still asleep as she nuzzled into my chest. And yet she was just awake enough to give a voice to what she was saying in her dreams. All I could do was listen as I finally put her in the bed.
"Noooo... no, don't go. Never leave. Haru... stay with... sorry. I'm sorry for being so mean. I can't do it though... can't... could never... hate... it's impossible... I should hate you, but... impossible... can't even stand not having you here... told the hospital... keep you... Haru, I'm sorry for everything I said since... it's the opposite... shouldn't have been pushing you away... not... I feel like this... too much of an idiot to understand... till it's too late... we were never just friends...Haya and Ku... like that... always been... wish it had... wish I had said... too late now... this is my punishment."
Punishment for what?
"What are you talking about?"
"I love you, Haru. I've been in love with... since I met you... only realised it when... saw you on top of them. Wished it was me... been your first."
She... she lo... and was... she thinks we...
"We didn't... I couldn't... not when I saw you standing there looking heartbroken. Ume, I wanted to chase after you but..."
A coy smile unlike anything I had ever seen her show before broke through her walls and made her look dangerously beautiful and mischievous.
"So there's still time? Then I... to steal a few of your firsts... I don't mind if... date other people... but I wish you would... mine."
Suddenly she grabbed my arm, pulled me into the bed with her, wrapped herself around me, and kissed me. I didn't know if she had fully awoken yet or if she was still just teetering on the edge, but it didn't matter anymore. I was lost in her kiss that I had always longed for. Even my imagination wasn't good enough to have predicted that kissing her would be this amazing. Universes were destroyed and restarted by the passion in her kiss. I was not prepared for this to actually happen. In my panic I pushed her back a little, but seeing her gorgeous face and silky black hair so close— and hearing her confession, even if it was something she could only admit in a dream— I realised what I wanted.
Even if I am forced to choose between them, I want to be with her.
I closed my eyes and moved to resume our kiss.
"What do you think you're doing?!"
Only to be pushed so hard I slid off the bed. My eyes flew open and I saw Ume. She was definitely not asleep anymore. She rose up from the bed and stared at me. There was such pain and turmoil and fear in her eyes that I nearly missed the deep blushing on her cheeks.
"Don't touch me! How... How could you?! After what you did, I can't...!"
"Ume, I..."
Like before, she turned and ran out of the room. My mind still reeling from what all I had just experienced, I was only saved by my instincts taking over. As soon as she burst out of the door I was up on my feet and running after her. I just missed the elevator and watched to see it stop three floors down. She was headed for Natsu's room. Half way between mental multitasking and being trapped in a strange primal fugue state, I burst into the stairwell and quickly made my way down the three floors.
She was the one dreaming, not me. I was wide awake. She said she's in love with me. Since we first met. So... in middle school?! But that would mean that she... and I...?
There didn't seem to be a clear answer as I processed the events. And I didn't know if what she had said was currently true or if she was dreaming of me before everything and was just confessing as a goodbye to the me she had loved. Even as I pondered that it felt weird but too possible to ignore. I burst out of the stairwell and flew through the halls to the room where she and Natsu normally were. The door was closed and when I tried to move it I heard the sound of a lock clicking home. I tried to peer through the window to just see if she was there, but it was too dark. Everything came back in a rush of emotions and I slid down to the floor and made myself into a ball with my back against the locked door.
"Ume... I'm sorry... I..."
Tears stung at my eyes and I couldn't tell if they were because I was happy for the confession or sorrow that I had already apparently messed it up.
"I don't know what I should do anymore... everything is just so... there's so much I never... and then tonight in the bed I..."
I couldn't bring myself to finish, and the more I went over everything the less I felt I understood.
"Haru..."
Her voice was close. So close to me. She was in the room but just from the sound of her voice I knew she was my mirror in there. There was a nervous dread quivering the edges of her speech which I could just barely hear through the door. And yet that small terrified voice had my full attention.
"What happened... tonight?"
"You don't remember?"
"I remember... going up there to... mmmh... not important. I remember falling asleep... and dreaming... then I woke up and you... why did you try—?"
I turned my head towards the door in the hopes that she could hear what I tried to whisper to her.
"Because you pulled me into the bed and kissed me first... I was—"
"No! That's a lie, I didn't... not really... that was a dream!"
"Ume..."
"It had to be a dream because I said... and then you... the things you said are impossible."
In that moment, I knew I couldn't just say she had said everything out loud in her sleep. She would have been mortified by knowing she confessed, but I couldn't just let her sink into confusion. So I told her all she needed to know.
"I woke up to find you sleeping there. I didn't want you to have trouble so I decided to swap places. While you were asleep I told you something because it was easier to tell you then. You must have heard that and pulled me into the bed with you."
"What did you say?"
There was a sliver of faded hope in her scared voice and it begged for honesty.
"I'm still a virgin. Kageroshi and I didn't do it. That was going to be our first time, but then I saw you there and couldn't do it. I wanted to chase after you but... Kage stopped me. I called out to you and then he told Natsu to go after you. Ume..."
Don't...
"There something..."
You can't... you're not single. You have to deal with Kage first.
"Something that I need to tell you. I should have told you a long, long time ago. It's not fair to make you wait to hear it, but I have things I need to handle first. But... even still... I wish... I know I can't ask for this—"
The click of the lock cut me off and I jumped up as I felt the door start to open. In front of me Ume stood there staring at me with red-rimmed eyes and a deep scarlet blush on her tear-stained face. She had been crying as well. I tried to speak but my words died in contact with the air as I stared back at her.
"It can never happen again."
"The kiss, or...?"
"Not that. Promise me. This will never happen again."
I still wasn't completely sure what she was meaning, but I knew that I'd regret it if I refused.
"I promise. It will never happen again."
She didn't say anything else, just stepped to the side and waited in a clear invitation to join her in the room. I looked at the clock. It was just passing 1am. We still needed actual sleep.
I can't do this. I should instead go back to Kage and try to figure out where we stand. I should be a good person and a good girlfriend. I should tell her to be with Natsu and not risk it by having me there if he wakes up. I should not go into this room with her. I can't do it. It's wrong.
I stepped inside and she locked the door behind me.