stay with me // kokonui

thirteen

"tell me what happened koko." seishu spoke out in the middle of their meal. he knew koko so well, something must've happened earlier.

koko, who's enjoying his ramen, swallowed the last drop from his bowl before turning to seishu.

"nothing happened inupi." koko assured him as he licked his lips then smiled at him. seishu felt the need to break the eye contact so he look down on his bowl of ramen and uttered, "liar."

koko was surprised to see the shy inui again since their childhood years. he forced himself not to grin. he placed his arms on the table and rested his chin on one of his palms while staring at seishu.

"what?"

"you look cute inupi."

"yeah thanks." seishu said nonchalantly. he continued eating his ramen, trying not to be bothered by koko's stare.

i hate this...

he hates how koko has been looking at him right now. there's a warm fondness in his eyes and he hates how he feels about it. he's definitely seeing akane right now...again.

"o..kane..." seishu whispered deliberately that brought koko back into reality. money, which is okane in nihonggo, sounds like akane.

"i dont have money right now, pay for mine." he told him. mf, he's only into either akane or okane. seishu thought.

it's already 9 in the evening, the two are walking on their way home, totally forgetting their gang at the shopping district.

koko wants to start a conversation with seishu but things got awkward when he complimented him at the ramen shop earlier. he was thinking of a topic while kicking a small stone as he walk.

"koko..." he looked at seishu who is looking up.

"the moon is lovely, isn't it?" he spoke so softly, his blonde hair is resplendent under the moonlight. his stoic eyes are now glowing with unreadable warm emotions. seishu turned to him and gave him the warmest smile he could ever have.

a...akane-san?

koko widened his eyes, he was too stunned to speak. he's seeing someone he shouldn't see right now...and it pinches his heart, he wants to hug her badly but it is seishu.

seishu looked away and walk ahead, now kicking the stone koko was kicking just now. like the stone, his life has always been kicked away by the feet of fate. if only it wasn't me...

•••

"its still her, not him." koko told yuzuha. no matter how much he convinced himself, its still akane.

"ehh? so you're not a gay." yuzuha disappointedly.

"can't you be just sensitive for now?"

"i'm sad okay? i haven't even done anything for you guys." i failed as a cupid. she cried internally.

"you don't need to, we'll settle this ourselves." koko said and heaves a sigh, or so i hope.

"you sound unsure yourself."

"i think i hurt him last night." he told her what happened last night, how beautiful seishu is and how dumb he was for thinking about akane again.

"baka, you indeed hurt him." she rolled her eyes at him. he's dumber than she thought.

"should i apologize? but i don't know how." she infuriates when she heard the word apologize.

"you disappoint me hajime." she said while shaking her head. koko look so lost right now.

"just please don't utter a word to him about last night or i'll kick your balls." she threatened. i should've just gone dating inui if it weren't only for this money-headed monkey.

•••

seishu gently placed his bouquet of flowers on their family grave. it's been months since his last visit.

"ne, akane. what did you do to that kid, he's still head over heels for you until now." he told his sister. he smiled when he remembers how dumbfounded koko was last night.

"why does he see me as you nee-san? we're not exactly similar except for our hair. and i become uglier with this scar too." so why?

seishu is not dumb to not to notice how koko has been lowkey manifesting his lingering feelings for akane towards him for years now. his soft eyes, his warm smiles, his gentle gestures, he knew it's all for akane.

at first, he thought it's fine, he didn't mind it cause he thought he can help koko in that way. it's his way of paying koko for saving his life but turns out, he's not of any help at all, he just make things worst for koko.

"perhaps its because of this.." he touched his scar.

"because i was accidentally the one he saved instead of you that he is living under the delusion that i am you."

he's always at my side yet he seems so far. he keeps looking for something i couldn't give to him.

"i hate it nee-san, i hate why i started to have this weird feeling when he looks at me with those gentle eyes he always have for you. i..don't want to make things more awkward between us..."

"i just want my old buddy koko back..."