EO oneshots//1998//2022

therapy

Elliot and Olivia have decided to go see Dr. Lindstrom together as a way to use a third party in their discussions about the past and find a way to move forward, but both of them refuse to start the conversation or take the sole blame for everything
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Peter Lindstrom sits across in a chair from Elliot and Olivia who were both on the couch...well, at separate ends of the couch

"You both realize that even though you don't speak, you will still have to pay right?" Peter said and watched the two for a reaction

"Thats such a shrink thing to say" Elliot said quietly

Olivia looks at him "do not be rude, he's here to help" she said quickly

Elliot motions towards the Peter "by all means Liv, you have the floor" he said

"I have nothing to say, im-" Olivia said before Elliot cut her off

"No you never do" Elliot mumbled

Peter looks at Elliot "what does that mean Elliot?" He asked

"Yeah, what the hell does that mean?" Olivia asked

Elliot scoffs lightly "you don't talk, all you do is go back and forth between complaining that I don't try enough or that I'm trying too hard" he said

"Trying for what?..Olivia?" Peter asked in atempt to get Olivia talking

Olivia looks at Peter, she sighs "for me to trust him again" she said as she crossed her arms "he left for 12 years, remember when I told you that, 12 years, not a word, not a text,an email, a letter..well, i wont bring that up" she added

Elliot chuckles softly as he slides his hand down his leg trying to remain calm

Olivia looks at him "what's with the chuckle ?" She asked

"You won't talk to me about our problems, but you talk to a shrink about us?" Elliot said and looked at her

Olivia stares at him, a million responses come to her, she shrugs "12 years Elliot" she said quietly

Peter watches the two as he shifts in his seat "why don't we open that up, why did you not respond to her?" He asked

Elliot rolls his eyes "there was a lot going on" he said knowing she wouldn't take that answer

Olivia watched him, she turns on the couch to fully face him "for 12 years?" She asked

Elliot nods as he looked at her, trying, begging her to understand

Peter watched the two carefuly "Olivia, you keep asking why he didn't reach out all those years, but why didn't you?" He asked

Olivia takes a deep breath as she looked at Peter "I did, for weeks I called, I emailed, I even dug out my old pager and paged him...I did it a million times a days, for weeks, and then I just stoped" she said and looked at Elliot

Elliot closes his eyes slowly "I got all of them..." he said and looked at Olivia "I read every email, every text..I threw my pager away long before i left, so I didn't get those, but I listened to every voicemail" he added

Olivia shakes her head "so, what you just didn't care?" She said as her voice cracked on the last word, she swollows the lump in her throat making her want to cry, she will not cry in front of him

Elliot glanced at Peter for a moment, not wanting to speak his feelings in front of him

"Ignore him, El, answer the question" Olivia said quickly

Peter stayed silent as he watched

Elliot sighs as he shifts on the couch to face Olivia "you really think I didnt care? Olivia I cared too much, I spent days pushing Kathy away, pushing the kids away, I spent days listening your voice mails over and over just hear your voice" he said

Olivia scrunched her eyebrows "but you didn't respond..not once" she said

Elliots jaw clenched slightly "I couldn't" he said

Olivia shurgs "why? you were my best friend, we told each other everything" she said

Elliot shakes his head "not everything" he said quietly

Peter goes to speak just as Olivia cuts him off

"what does that mean?" Olivia asked

Elliot stared at her, just like he did in Kathleens apartment durring their intervention, trying to figure a way out, trying to not blurt out what he really wants to say

Olivia watched him as she leaned forward and grabbed his hand "please..talk to me" she whispered

Elliot took a deep breath "you really want to do this here?" He asked

Olivia squeezes his hand softly "i want  the truth, you always had enough  respect for me to give it to me straight, why is this different?" she said

Elliot keeps his eyes locked on her "I loved you.." he said quickly but calmly

Peter tilts his head as he glanced at Olivia

Olivias eyes winded, he's not drowning in grief this time, he's not drugged this time, he's not about to die this time

Elliot moves his thumb against her hand softly "I left because I loved you, and I didn't want you to loose your job because of me, that part was true. I didn't call or respond because the second I heard your voice I would want to come home, and coming home would only ruin what we had, I loved you too much to be around you" Elliot said  and glanced down quick when he felt her pull her hand back

Olivia stays quiet as she watched him

"You wanted the truth Liv, that's it..I loved you then, I love you now, thats why this is different" Elliot said

Olivia remembers the words Peter had said to her durring her last session, to see if theres anything there with Elliot or move on

Elliot chuckles softly "now look who won't open up" he joked

Olivia glances up as the alarm Peter had set went off

"That's our time...you both are more than welcome to schedule another session...or..my advic, go get a coffee after you leave here" Peter said standing from his chair

Olivia stays sitting, dumbfounded but weirdly excited

Elliot glances at Olivia before he stands and reaches a hand out towards Peter "I apologize for being rude before" he said

Peter shakes his hand "not a problem, it comes with the job" he said

Elliot looks down at Olivia "let's go get a coffee Liv" he said taking Peter's advice

Olivia nods as she stood up

Peter watches Elliot head out the door "Olivia" he said quickly

Olivia stoped at the doorframe and looked back at him "I know, I'll call for another session" she said

Peter shook his head "no not that. My advice to you from last week still stands. open yourself up to the thought of being happy Olivia, to the real possibility of it...it might be waiting on the other side of that door" He said

Olivia smiles slightly before she left, with Elliot, for coffee. The first of many