We Go Down (Bremmy 2)

Chapterish 74

The food. The drink. The dancing.

THE DANCING.

The makeshift dance floor is jampacked right now. I might have my second black out of the night.

I'd like to say I'm above replaying Brooks's kiss in my mind. But, I'm so so below. I'm underground. I think of the sun, of his lips, of the fervor. It is the perfect last kiss. Maybe that's what we needed.

I glance at him now, doing some insane dance beside Travis and Nate. His shirt unbuttoned halfway, beer bottle in-hand, not a care in the entire world –or any semblance of noticing me. You'd never be able to tell that just hours ago he was tracking me down.

You'd never be able to tell I ever meant anything to him.

Travis shouts something at Brooks, who tilts his head back and laughs. It's the kind of laugh that reaches his eyes. As his gaze reaches the dance floor, it finds mine -catches mine resting on him. God, he looks just like he'll always look in my mind. Major Adele When We Were Young vibes.

Meg loops her hand through mine and starts carting me off the dance floor.

"Where we headed?" I ask, definitely feeling the champagne and reveling in it.

"Um, what was that?" Meg asks, completely ignoring my question.

"What was what?" I raise my eyebrow.

"You know what. You were basically undressing each other with your eyes. I think you managed to get another one of his buttons," Meg says, glancing back at the boys dancing.

"Oh my god. Stop." I groan, turning my head in an attempt to hide my smile. "Zero undressing."

Meg pulls my face to hers. "I know there's something. Spill."

The kiss movie is playing again.

"There was... maybe a kiss. Maybe," I stress, shaking my head at how wide Meg's eyes go.

"Shut the actual fu–"

"Stop it," I hiss at her. "It was nothing. And that's more than you need to know."

"No, no," Meg laughs, shaking her hand in my face. "I need to know a lot more. A LOT."

"This is Trix's wedding! Not gonna bogart it with Brooks BS." I'm aware I'm still smiling. Apparently I was bursting to tell this news to someone.

"Brooks BS. Uh-huh." Meg rolls her eyes. "Doesn't seem like BS to me."

"Well, it was. He sort of stalked me to the cliffs. Kissed me. Uninvitedly. It was secluded. Very creepy," I nod, mater-of-fact.

"Creepy?" Meg repeats.

"Are you just going to repeat everything I say?" I fold my arms defensively.

Meg thinks about this and sighs.

"No. I just want more deets. What's this kiss mean?"

"It means nothing!" I almost shout, thankful the music is so loud. None of the group even looks over at us. "I mean –Look at him! Life of the party. I don't even exist to him! Not when other people are around anyway."

"Emmy–"

"Come on," I say, grabbing her hand. "Time-out is over. Back to zee dancing!"

Meg obliges with one last eye roll. I take two shots off the nearest tray and we pound them down. Tequila.

We are back in the thick of the throng, blending in perfectly with all the other drunken people. One song. Three songs. Just when I've almost forgotten about my gossip sesh with Meg, the song ends and one of the only slow songs of the last hour starts. I instinctively walk towards the edge of the dance floor, ready to bask in the shade of the palms beside the bar.

"No, you don't," someone says, grabbing my hand.

I spin around and see Alex, drenched in sweat, his fingers gripping my wrist.

"But–" I begin.

"Nope." He shakes his head. "Whit vanished with Cam and I can't dance alone."

"Ugh." I sigh but can't help the smile Alex so easily elicits.

We reach the dance floor, which is now much less crowded than before. I focus on Alex's hands, on Meg's backless dress, and the slight salty breeze that's gracing us right now.

"You're saving me from sitting on the sidelines right now," Alex jokes above my head.

"You're saving me," I say simply, no doubt thanks to that last tequila shot. It's more than true.

I couldn't bear the idea of watching Trix and Travis and Meg and Nate and Alex and Whit all dance with the other nauseatingly happy couples.

"Draw?" Alex laughs.

"Just think, this will be you and Whit next," I tell him.

"So wild. She's pulling for a destination wedding. But after dealing with this heat, I'm not sold," Alex explains.

"Yea it's another world down here," I nod.

"Crazy to think about how much has changed in a year," Alex says.

"Crazy," I echo. It is crazy.

Less than one year ago, Alex was taking me back to his apartment after Tenfire. I can still smell the burning driftwood and hear the ocean waves. I can still taste the cherry vodka.

The song ends and I relish the three extra seconds that Alex holds me. It's a friendly hold, a reminder that he's here for me. It's the way he speaks without words. I squeeze his hand before I let it drop and rejoin Meg and Trix for the next fast dance, already desperate to get lost inside another melody.

More hours pass. More drinks evaporate into thin air. Inhibitions dissipate like the orange across the sky.

My skin is prickly from the heat and the sweat, and I need to pace myself if I want to make it past sundown.

"Hey!" Nate shouts.

"Where yous going?" Trix pouts as I slowly back away from the group.

"Just need a minute." I shout behind me, my words directed at no one in particular.

Lauren and Meg both call after me, but I'm already across the patch of sand that separates the walkway from the dancefloor.

My updo is in shambles, but still in better shape than my head or my heart. I run towards the rushing water, the sounds of waves breaking against the uneven cliffs. Man do I feel madly like Rose right now.