Ashes to Ashes (Book Two of The Kazuya Series) (✔️)

三十 (Thirty)

(Koan's POV)

"You had your unruly hair even then." Elle smiled, brushing her fingers gently over the image. "Face of an angel too."

I gave her a soft smile.

She continued to study the image for a few minutes before speaking quietly. "Will you tell me?"

"About us?"

"About what you remember? I...don't remember anything new. Nothing except...the fire and that you didn't come back. You said it was his fault. What did you mean by that? The fire was his fault?"

"No," I shook my head. "The fire wasn't his fault. We were...powerful people and a lot of people hated us and/or wanted us dead. They started the fire. He didn't."

"Powerful? What do you mean by that?"

"I...don't know or remember the exact details, but we had a lot of enemies."

"And Masaki?"

"The three of us...we were friends. The best of friends. We did everything together. You and I...we were always together."

"Together-together?"

I nodded. "That day...I left you...I left to...f*ck, I don't know why I left. Maybe to see what was happening? Maybe to find help or something? I don't f*cking remember that part. I found him though..."

"And?"

"And he stopped me from going back to you."

*****

"The secret exits, we can go through there. The three of us can get out!"

"Where is she now?" He asked, holding on tightly to my wrist.

"In the room. We've got to get back to her! We can make it in time!"

Smoke filled the air, making it hazy and difficult to breathe. 

He shook his head. "It's too late. They've probably found her by now if the fire hasn't gotten her."

"No, there's still time! I'm not leaving without her! I can't leave without her!"

"We can't lose both of you! I...We can't lose you!" He shouted, a hand on each shoulder.

"And I can't lose her!" I shouted back, surrounded by the sounds of the building crumbling and people screaming.

Turning, I moved to run back inside but he grabbed my arms and held me back. Struggling against his hold, I was helpless as I was forced to watch the building collapse almost completely. I was deaf to the sound of myself screaming as I felt my heart shatter.

"She's gone. There's nothing you can do. She's gone. It's just us." I heard him whisper, but it might as well have fallen on deaf ears.

*****

"So I died and you lived?" She asked.

"No," I answered, pressing a kiss to her head.

"No, but both of you were out."

"It's the same in this life as it was in that one."

"What is?"

"I can't, nor do I want to, live in this world or any other world if I do not have you with me."

She turned in her spot to face me with tear brimmed eyes.

"Koan,"

I cupped the side of her face in my hand and brushed my finger gently underneath her eye, watching as a tear slowly rolled down her cheek.

"You didn't. Tell me you didn't. Tell me you wouldn't ever." She cried.

I smiled grimly. "You burn, I burn."

"And...And him?"

"He forced me to watch as that fiery building collapsed with you inside so I made him watch as I walked into the flames to be with you." I admitted, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "I think maybe that's why...in this life...I can't feel pain or extreme temperatures."

"Why? Because of that fire?" She sniffled.

"Because watching that building crumble within the flames while knowing you were in there and then walking through those flames myself...it all made one thing painfully clear to me."

"And that is?"

"That nothing in this world could ever be as painful as losing you."

~~~~~~~~~
(Elle's POV)

I couldn't seem to take me eyes off the image in my hand. The likeness of the three of us compared to now rattled my brain. It was...uncanny.

That Koan...his eyes seemed so much brighter than my Koan's. His smile reached his eyes and he just looked...lighter too.

Looking away from the image, Koan was curled up in a position that didn't strain or put pressure on his wounds. His face was pressed against my side and an arm was wrapped loosely around my thigh. He'd fallen asleep shortly after telling me what he remembered from then.

His theory on why he believes he doesn't feel pain still boggles my mind. Who am I to say he's wrong though?

With that in mind, I carefully slipped from the bed and padded out into the living area. Everyone was gathered there amongst a plethora of blankets and pillows.

"Hey." Colten smiled when he saw me. He was in the floor against the couch sitting between Renzo's legs.

"Hey."

"He asleep?" Izumi asked.

"Yeah."

"Well Damien won't be here for a few more hours. They're making sure to take the long way in. Making sure they aren't followed or being watched. You should try and get some sleep too. We all should."

"Yeah," I nodded. "I just..." I trailed off, chewing absentmindedly on my lower lip.

"Just what? Something wrong?"

"He told me...what happened after he and Masaki were separated from you." I spoke, holding the image tight in my hand.

"What happened?" Seiichi asked cautiously.

I shook my head. "Nothing good. Group of guys found them. Masaki offered himself up to them to give Koan a chance to escape. Koan doesn't know what happened to him after that."

"And?"

"He didn't tell me what happened after that. Didn't tell me what happened between then and when you all rejoined. He was alone after that and I'm not going to ask for details or anything. He'll tell me if he wants to or when he's ready, but..." I trailed off again, clutching the image even tighter and undoubtedly crinkling it a bit.

"But what?"

"I don't know what Damien is going to say. I don't know what he's found. I don't know if things are going to get better or worse after tonight. I don't know any of that stuff. I do know one thing for certain though. I'm not letting us be separated again. Neither of us can survive it again. Whatever I have to do, I'll do it. If there's no way out of this f*cked up situation here then I'll drag him to another country. I will happily live the rest of my days in some other country while being on the Most Wanted list. I'll do that because I will have him. If I have to put a bullet in someone myself then I will do that too. I couldn't care less. Whatever it takes, I will do it. I will do anything besides leave his side. Going through this again...being separated from him again...I'd much rather be burned alive."