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Ch. 5 - Observations

"There's a mattress upstairs," Negan instructed his men, "go grab it and load it in the back of my truck."

I stretched my legs, feeling the blood circulate to the tips of my toes and back up. My arms shot above my head, like a baby fresh out of its swaddle, as I groaned and scrunched my face. I could see the sunlight in the room through my eyelids, I just wasn't quite ready to open them.

"Well good mornin', darlin'," I heard his voice again.

I guess I had no choice.

I opened my eyes, rubbing them with the knuckles of my index fingers. I dropped my hands, rested them on my stomach, and looked up at Negan. He was resting his weight on Lucille, his large hand gripping the knob next to his right leg.

"Morning," my voice was hoarse. I reached for the water bottle next to my emptied can, cracked the seal, and took a swig. I was never a fan of room temperature water, but beggars can't be choosers, and times have changed a fuck ton. "How long have you been awake?" I questioned.

"Maybe an hour or so," Negan said.

"You could've woken me up."

"You seemed tired," Negan explained. "Plus you needed the beauty rest." A smirk grew once again as he looked down at me. I shook my head and swung my legs over the edge of the couch before I pushed my palms into the cushions and stood. Heavy steps descended from the second floor, two men carried the mattress down and out toward the trucks. "We need to get going," Negan cleared his throat. Without waiting for me, he sauntered out the front door and toward his men. I collected my water bottle and made my way to the trucks as well. Everybody was standing around and talking with each other, including Negan. As I approached, Negan concluded his conversation and positioned himself in front of the group.

"This was a great run, gentlemen!" He exclaimed. The men nodded in agreeance. "Let's load up and get the fuck out of here." The group dispersed, everybody heading back to their respective trucks. I walked toward the truck that Negan and I shared on our way here, opened my door, and hoisted myself into my seat. It wasn't long until Negan had done the same and started the truck.

Lucille rested in front of me yet again. I traced the pattern of the grain with my fingers, the sound of the engine mixed with gravel kicking up at the base of the truck filled the empty space. Memories of Glenn and Abraham flooded my mind. The lives they had, the people they left behind.

"Glenn was going to be a dad," I said. My eyes were stuck on Lucille and I couldn't break them away. "He met his wife Maggie in all of this, at her father's home. I met them after, at the prison, before Alexandria. It was always obvious how much they loved each other." My observations were met with silence. A smile played on my lips as I thought of the love they shared. "Who would've thought that the end of the world could be the dawn of new beginnings?"

I broke my staring spell with Lucille and turned my head to look at Negan. His bottom lip was tucked into his mouth as he chewed on it, and his nostrils were flared. His face was void of any emotion as if he had blocked out everything that I said.

I turned back and faced forward, my smile falling.

"I don't feel bad about it," Negan broke the silence, "If you're trying to fucking guilt trip me."

"I'm not," I answered and turned to look at him again. "God knows you're incapable of feelings anyway."

"That just simply is not true, sweetheart." He shifted his hands, dropping his right hand onto the gearshift and steering with his left. As he turned his head to face me, he smiled suggestively, swiping his tongue across his top row of teeth. His eyebrows were raised, which created a faint maze of wrinkles on his forehead.