Scenarios

001

Her POV
It's been weeks since that day, that day full of tears and pain, that day where our minds are busy but our mouths shut, only saying things we never mean, baseless excuses to hide the real intention.

But if we only knew, if we knew what our hearts scream and what our dreams for each other looks like, would that day be like that day.

August 17, the day I never thought would come.

I thought we we're okay, we we're healthy, and we had trust. But one single news broke us apart. My heart shattered when he told me he won't be able to walk again. The doctor finalised it and I can see he lost all hope.

However, I wouldn't care if he won't be able to move or so, I would love him just as much, even more. Sadly, he did not see it in my eyes. He wasn't convinced with how I told him by my voice and actions. He shut the door, as he did he also shut the chance for me to comfort him, be with him, and tell him how much I love him.

I was busy with my thoughts and as if the universe could hear me, I saw him, and I almost fell on my knees. There he is, on his wheelchair trying to cross the street. I could tell by his face that he's having a hard time. Well, not everyone can adjust to something so quick.

And like a puppy drawn by a butterfly, I find my way walking to him. I grabbed the wheelchair's handle and started assisting him. I couldn't help myself.

"What are you doing?" he asked,

"Where to?" I asked back,

"You don't need to-"

"Where to?" I cut him, I don't think I will be able to take it if he pushed me away again.

"To the park" he said as he sighed.

We were both sitting on a bench, far from the crowd. I was thankful that the sky was pretty, the children were playing, and that the trees can shelter us. However our eyes were gloomy, we're not moving, and it felt suffocating. Is there really no more of us? Just because he's disabled? No.

"You've hurt me" I started, he lowered his head

"I think it destroyed me, but why is it that it's more painful to see you suffering?" I added.
He looked at me and I continued

"Why is it that even when you push me away, I find myself coming back to you? Why is it that when you get mad at me I want to hug you even more? And why is it that when you tell me to just leave you alone I want to love you even harder?"

He looks at me, he wants to say something but he stopped.

"It's so unfair that you make me feel like this, why are you acting like you're the only one who was in a relationship? Why do you burden yourself so much? I was with you remember? Those check ups, those dates, those movie nights, those walking home, and those I love you's. Don't leave me behind" I added.

"I'm going to ruin your future" he finally said.

His POV:
Here we are again, I know she's got a lot to say. But those words were the only ones she chose. I'm hurting her again. It's because of me, it's my fault. I love her so much but I don't want to be selfish and burden her. She's got a whole future ahead of her, I can't take it away from her because of a pair of feet that doesn't work. She would experience hurdles if she chose me; shame, hardship, pain, and stolen dreams. I can't let that happen.

"I'm going to ruin your future" she looked at me in disbelief

"What, can you tell the future now?" she argued. I sighed.

"It won't be easy to take care of someone like me, I know it"

"I don't care"

"I can't walk!"

"Then I'll show you the way!"

"You've got a career to pursue"

"I can do both!"

"You'll get tired"

"I'll catch my breath then"

"Listen to me, don't decide on things indecisively. You will only experience nothing but suffering with me. I can't walk so I won't be able to help you with most of the things! What, you're gonna work for us? You're gonna do all the hard tasks? You're gonna give up on your dreams because you have to take care of me?" I said. But she wasn't having it.

I can't understand myself either. I want her too, I want to be with her too.

"No. Stop being like that! You're not the only dislocated person in this planet. You can work too! We can share all the hardships, I'm not going to give up on my dreams nor give up on you. I know that's really not the reason why you're pushing me away. Being disabled is not enough to break our relationship." She said.

Gosh I love her so much. Why is it that she knows me too well. Why is she so stubborn. Why is she like that? But then again, those were one of the reasons why I loved her. I loved that she's not filtered, I love that she's so full of dedication, and I love how she's looking at me right now.

She's right. She's always been right. Maybe what I said are not the real reasons why I'm acting this way. I can't even understand myself but she does.

I feel insecure. That's it. I'm ashamed of myself. I'm the weak one here. That's why. I wanted to be the one who will protect her, I want to take her to places, I want to carry her on my back, I want to lift the heavy things for her, I want to run with her, and I wanted to be strong for her. But because of such misfortune, I couldn't. I've become insecure that's why I've pushed myself away, and in doing so, I've hurt her.

End of his POV
"I love you" she said.

"I love you so much I'm willing to give up my feet for you. I love you so much I want to tell you that it's okay for a man to be taken care of. I love you so much I want to protect you too. And I love you because it's you." she added.

He looked at her, admiring her. He's thankful she's the one he loved.

"I love you so much and I'm willing to wait for you. I'll wait until you've gained yourself back. You're the only one who can do that, and I will be waiting to hug you after." she said.

"I want you to love yourself first in order for you to love someone. I don't know how long it'll take you. But please, find a way to accept yourself. And then you can welcome someone again in your heart, you can love someone again, and you can smile again" she ended.

"I will" he answered. Short, but it spoke thousand feelings. She understood.

'I hope it would be with me'......she thought as she walked away. Pertaining to her last words.
'And it would be with you'........he thought as he watched her walk away. Engraving her last words.

Date: N/A
Time: 1:00 AM
Idea: Thoughts before sleeping