Scenarios

004

September 17, 2022  9:40 PM

*/HOOONK!

The loud sound of the truck rung inside my head and its bright headlight blinded my eyes; those were the only thing I can recall as I lay down the cold and wet concrete floor. I can't move, I feel numb, but my eyes were open. What's this?

The faint murmur and gasps of the people along with the sound of the ambulance slowly became blurry until I can't hear anything. My body is numb but my inside feels cold, very cold. My eyes are still open but I can't see a thing, it's becoming more and more dark. I can't hear, feel, nor see. This is supposed to make me feel scared. I hate this feeling; alone and trapped, I can't do anything. But why don't I feel scared? My heart is not reacting, instead it's beating slowly and slowly.

Is this death? Am I dying?

A :"Poor lady, she looks so young and beautiful to die this early."
B :"Isn't that the girl who lives alone in the apartment 007? I heard she doesn't have any family anymore."
C :"I feel bad, she doesn't deserve this."
D: "Her whole body is broken, she won't be able to survive tsk tsk tsk poor thing"
E: "Is there no way to contact any of her relatives? Her death would be in vain"

They say that before you die, life flashes you all of the beautiful memories you had in order to make your death less painful and sad. It wants you to remember that you lived a good life and it's now time to rest.

But why? Why do I only see darkness? Was my life nothing just like this darknes? Did I not live a good life? All this time I worked hard! Did I not accomplish anything?

A tear escaped my opened eyes together with a breath from my dry lips, and I know more than anyone, that it was my last.
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July 24, 2022  9:40 AM

*/ring ring ring

I flinched and quickly sat on my bed as I heard my alarm and woke up from my dream. I looked at the time as I wiped the cold sweat that formed my forehead. I held my chest and took a deep sigh.

My heart is beating wildly, goosebumps all over my body, and I'm catching my breath; all contradicting the dream I just had. What was that? A nightmare?

It felt so real.

After a good 5 minutes I stood up and fixed my bed. It's the weekend but unlike people my age, I'm not that excited.

Just like yesterday: I made breakfast, clean, showered, studied, then lunch, slept, study, went to my part time job, dinner, and washed up. Routinely. Over and over. Everyday.

However, I can't get that nightmare out of my head and it kept bothering me. Everytime I recall it, my heart beats fast and my palms become sweaty, I feel scared. Was it really just a nightmare?

I remember how I can only see nothing but darkness, would it someday be real? If I die today, will it be just like that dream?

I looked around my apartment, it's small but decent enough for one person to live in. The clock from my wall and the footsteps of the neighbors is what I only hear. It's lonely.

I was 16 when I started living alone in this apartment and left the orphanage where I grew up. I don't have any family nor friends. I'm alone.

I started recalling that nightmare again and now I feel that it's likely to happen to me in real life. I can't really say I have good memories. I looked at the mirror and I can see that my eyes is clouded with tears. Why is everybody effortlessly happy whilst I'm here trying to do my best and yet I feel empty? What did I miss?

I walked slowly towards the mirror until I'm inches away from my reflection. Tear stains on my face, my eyes are tired, and I look pathetic. I placed my palm on my reflection.