George: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.
King: I know. Whenever I'm near the person I like I just start acting stupid.
George: But you're always acting stupid?
King: ...
King: Yeah, don't think about that too hard.
—
King: Relationships should be 50/50. George cooks us dinner while I sit on the kitchen counter looking pretty.
—
George: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.
King: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*
George: That one. I want that one.
—
King: Do you want to know your gay name?
George: My... my gay name?
King: Yeah, it's your first name-
George: Haha. Very funny King-
King: *gets down on one knee* And my last name.
George: Oh- oh my god.
—
King: That was so hot, George.
George: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenterate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets.
King: I'm so in love with you.
Now LAMS✨
John : Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers?
Alex: Peonies, why?
John :
Alex: Were you going to get me flowers?
John :
Alex:
John : ᶦᵗ'ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ
—
John : Sorry I'm late, I was doing things.
Alex: Hi, I'm 'things'.
—
Alex: I'm proud to identify as morosexual. I'm attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing them under the moonlight.
John : What kind of animal is the Pink Panther?
Alex, already taking off their clothes: God, John , you're so fucking stupid.
—
John : Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.
Alex: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.
—
Alex: Valentine's day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-
John : I wrote you a poem.
Alex, already crying: You did?
—
John : Did you know you remind me of all 26 letters of the alphabet?
Alex: What? Like J F K W S Q X-
John : No, like, U R A Q T.
Alex: Awwww- wait, you're missing a letter
John: Relax! You'll get the D later~
—
John : Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!
Alex: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.
John : Stop.
—
Alex: Is something burning?
John , leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you.
Alex: John , the toaster is literally on fire.
Aaaaaand I'm tired, your welcome.
YOU ARE READING
Fishi's Big Book O Bullshit!
Fanfiction(Cover art not mine) OH CRACK MEMES, HEAD CANONS, AND CRACK DOODLES GALORE. OH WHAT DOES MS. FISHI HAVE IN STORE??? NOT COMPELTED (I did not mean for that to rhyme but it was AWESOME)
