the hilt | eren jaeger

t h i r t y f i v e

After Jo and Reiner's fight, there was tension in her stomach. Anxiety. Buildup.

She no longer knew exactly who was to trust. Maybe it was a good thing that he had said such terrible things, as he had slightly awoken her from her delusions, but she longed for the ignorance.

Why couldn't the world be simple? Treat her simply? Look at her no differently?

She wanted to talk to him again, but he had been avoiding her. He had been gone, or unable to talk to her every time she'd try to go up to him. Even at training he would brush her off somehow.

But she needed to know. And she desperately wanted him to be wrong.

Even though she could tell nothing was right here, that everything was off, it didn't stop her from wanting these delusions to be reality. She wanted to be cared for by everyone there. She wanted to be loved by them. She wanted to be a comrade to them. Someone they could count on. She wanted to be recognized as one of their own, even if she hadn't been for a really, really long time.

*****

Jo was sitting in the common area of the Warrior's building, in her hands was some dusty novel that she was struggling to get through.

The morning's training was done for the day, and everyone had dispersed.

Jo really had no idea what to do when she was given free time. She'd already cleaned the whole place. Many times. She would make food for everyone. She'd do random things. But time was really starting to annoy her. And having it be at her leisure was even worse.

The book was boring, and for some reason, even though she was confident in her reading abilities, there were times when she was struggling to understand the words on the page. But she'd just knock at her head a few times and the problem would somehow go away.

The plot of the book was also nothing special. There are good people, and there were bad people. They hated each other. But to each side, the other side was the problem. It was all a matter of perspective, and Jo didn't care for the lack of it.

She was nearing the end too, but she could tell how it was going to go. The heroes would win, and the villains would lose. There'd be some sappy reunions, and some mediocre fight scenes, but overall, it would end exactly how she'd expect it to. This made her put the book down. No point in reading about the ending if you know what's coming, she thought.

Then there was a calm knock on the side of the door frame.

Jo smiled a bit to herself, "Pieck, to what do I owe the pleasure today?"

"You know I don't need a reason to come talk to you, right?" She huffed a little, looking apathetic.

Jo looked at her for a moment, "That'd be a first."

"I don't see how."

Jo sighed a little in response. She kicked her legs onto the adjacent wooden chair, crossing them as she did so. "Everyone here only talks to me when they need something. Magath. Reiner. Zeke."

"Those aren't exactly the best people to sample from. I'll come by every day of the week now just to prove you wrong."

"Don't bother." A small comment from Jo, but it hurt the girl she was talking to even more. "You've probably got other things that are more important than hanging out with the amnesiac."

"And what if this is how I want to spend my time?"

Jo shrugged, a small, innocent smile curling onto her lips, "Then who am I to stop you?"