Moonlight and You

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Love, wealth, fame and power. Things that ruined a lot of people's dreams.

Love, what does this word really mean? They say that love is the most powerful thing we have. Such a stupid statement. Looking at the moon above me made me realize a lot of crazy things. The brightness of its light reminds me of that stupid creature.

"What are your plans, Selene? Are you going to hide her forever?" Tanisha asked me as she looked at my four year old daughter.

I didn't flinch and continued staring at my own moon, my daughter. "Until my fucking last breath Tan."

It's been five years since I discovered I was pregnant. He's the father of it of course, who would it be? Siya lang naman ang lalaking minahal ko.

Gago nga lang.

I heard her release a deep sigh. "Fine, I'll support you with everything, Selene."

We both fell silent as my daughter approached us. "Mommy, I'm sleepy na po." My daughter said sleepily.

I gently caressed her hair and carried her in my arms. She immediately hugged me. Tanisha on the other hand opened the door for us.

I mouthed her good night and walked towards our room. I tucked my daughter in bed and kissed her forehead.

Lucia Aiyanna‚ don't grow fast baby.

Muli akong bumaba ng makaramdam ng uhaw. Kinuha ko ang pitsel at nagsalin ng tubig sa baso.

Umupo ako sa tapat ni Tanisha. She's drinking beer‚ again. Hindi ata ito nananawang sumuka.

"You should be sleeping right now Selene, may book signing ka pa bukas." Tinapunan ako nito ng tingin at muling uminom ng beer.

"I can't. There's a lot of thoughts in my head that keep my soul awake." Pag amin ko.

Hindi ako panatag. Lalo pa at nasa Manila ako ngayon. There is a possibility that our paths will cross again.

Kung hindi lang para sa pangarap ko ay baka nasa America pa din kami. I just don't want to risk again.

Handa akong itago si Aiyanna hanggang kaya ko. Hindi siya pwedeng makita ni Fourth, she's a photocopy of her father.

Paniguradong isang tingin lamang dito ay malalaman niyang kanya si Aiyanna.

Putangina naman kasi, ako ang nagdala ng siyam na buwan tapos magiging kamukha ng lang ng shunga niyang ama.

Nakikuha din ako ng beer. Sinaman niya ako ng tingin, it's like she's saying that it's mine, bili ka din.

"There's no room for running away again. Kailangan mong harapin at tanggapin na may posibilidad na makita mo ang lalaking iyon." She said carefully, choosing the appropriate word to avoid hurting my feelings.

"Yup, if our paths cross again? titisudin ko siya tangina niya." Gigil kong sambit.

Binatukan ako nito. "Joke lang naman Tani, if I see him then I'll just act like I don't know him." I simply said.

"Sinong niloloko mo dito? Kung si Kalisha ay sinalo lahat ng kamanhidan, ikaw naman sinalo lahat ng karupukan."

"H-hindi na ako marupok!" I tried my best to convince her. Hindi naman na talaga ako marupok, he doesn't deserve my forgiveness.

I hate to admit that despite what happened. I still wish him the best. Pain and hatred blinded me, but it can't erase the fact that I loved him and I'm still loving him.

It's him, it's always been him. 4 years had passed but nothing changed, my feelings didn't fade a bit. I still love that stupid creature.

I learned my lesson. Alam ko sa sarili kong hindi na ako babalik sa lalaking dumurog sa akin. It's like rereading a book even though you know it's ending.