the new producer | seventeen

005 : companion + if you leave me

MARCH2022

the black solid door shuts behind him. his figure towers over the girl who takes a seat and gestures him to take the one beside her. he nods and does so. 

"you were having some trouble?" the male points to the scattered paper balls surrounding the monitor. haoyu's cheeks go hot. "sorry about that." she rises from her seat to collect them when he stops her. "no it's okay." he gives her a warm smile that sends butterflies in her stomach.

haoyu clicks the play button and seems a bit embarrassed. it's the raw version, with all its faults and successes. this is kinda awkward... i wonder what he thinks. 

the melodic song flows through the built-in speakers overhead. haoyu looks up to find his eyebrows furrowed, his hand cupping his jaw as he stares into space. he is focused. he is paying attention. 

the instrumental reaches the bridge and ideas are flowing through haoyu's head. a nice synth buildup would sound so good here. 

when the song concludes, he leans away and turns to her. she feels her heart pound with anticipation and nervousness. 

"that was really nice." his voice is sweet and smooth like honey. 

"ah, thank you." she bows slightly. "it needs more work, right?" haoyu bits her bottom lip, watching his expression. 

"in some places, yeah." he is honest, soothing her worries. she nods, turning her head towards the file titled "haoyu's piano instrumental #17." 

"sun haoyu is your name, right?" his eyes follow hers and wants to confirm his uncertainties.

she hums. "yeah." she pauses. "what's yours?"

"lee seokmin. i'm a seventeen member." 

the dots are finally lining up. at the door, haoyu knew that he looked familiar but she couldn't put her finger on it. 

"you felt so recognizable to me." she says without thinking. seokmin cracks a small smirk. "what are you doing here, then? i heard you guys were working on a new album." her topic transitions are suave and slick. 

"we have a little free time here and there." he shrugs. "besides. i've been meaning to talk to you." 

a confused expression coats her face. "about what?" 

this is where he goes rigid. seokmin feels the rush of blood to his cheeks. "nothing in particular. just talk and get to know you." haoyu feels her eyes widen and her jaw slacken.

"if you want to, of course." he adds frantically at the end. 

haoyu is reminded of the loneliness in her life. the gaze of many who admire her and her tenacity, but are too intimidated to strike up a conversation. 

since the deal with blockberry, her image has been switched from a bumbling, clumsy assistant producer to a ferocious, determined composer. she received a promotion, a pay raise and her own office. haoyu was deemed a hitmaker, a genius. 

yet there is this gap, even with her incredible success. a hole in her heart.

there is distance that she wants to close between her and her coworkers. 

this would be my first friend, right? friend..

"haoyu? you okay?" his soft voice pulls her back into reality. "you're crying." 

her hand is quick to feel her face where a lone tear has dripped on her pants. "oh... oh, yes. i'm okay. i am fine." she wipes it away before offering seokmin her smile. "sure. yeah, i could be your friend." 

seokmin feels his worries fade away and his shoulders slump in relief. he lets out an small chuckle. "for a second, i thought you thought i was really weird." 

"i wouldn't think that." haoyu's sweet voice denies. "i'm glad." 

the two then began to chat, some light conversation. 'how was china like?' 'when's your birthday?' 'your favorite color?' 'your favorite korean dish?' 'favorite chinese dish?' 'what is seventeen like?' 

and boy, did he spill the motherfucking tea. 

the girl lets out a loud laugh to the conclusion of seokmin's many dorm stories revolving seventeen. "that's so stupid i can't help but laugh." 

"i know right? and then he proceeded to cuss at me like? hello? i'm older than you?" haoyu sobers up, looking at the monitor. a silence falls on the duo. 

"when did you know you wanted to be a producer?" seokmin asks after some time. 

"hm, that's a good question." haoyu meets his gaze and smiles before furrowing her eyebrows and contemplating. 

"i think when i was five or six? my mom works in the fashion industry and didn't have time to care for me, so i was mostly with a babysitter." seokmin nods. "i was timid-" 

"really? you? shy?" his eyes widen. haoyu cuts her feline eyes at him and the male clamps his mouth shut, listening intently.  

"my babysitter played lots of music for me when she felt i was being too clingy." the memories rush in her mind. she nods. 

"so i spent a lot of my time with music." 

"it knew me, my moods. i could play a song and feel my happiest. i could play a song and feel like i was carrying the burdens of the world on my back."  she says with utter genuinity and sincerity. 

"so i wanted to get to know it.. and here i am." she does a small head tilt, widening her arms to gesture at the studio.

seokmin agrees, knowing how much of an impact music had on himself. they sit in silence and absorb haoyu's words. 

haoyu feels her face growing hot. "you get what i mean?" 

"mhm." seokmin says with a teasing smile to her reaction. he sighs deeply, turning back to her piano instrumental. 

"that being said, i think your song would be good for seventeen." haoyu finds her face contort into slight amusement. "really?"

"yeah. why, you think we only do bright, hype songs?" he regards her with a suspicious grin. 

"no, no. it's just...sudden. you want to use my track for the new album, right?" 

"i can see it." seokmin nods his head before turning to haoyu. "can you play it for me again?" she hums a yes and clicks the play button. 

this time, his eyes are shut, channeling his vision for the song. when the 'chorus' hits, a phrase in english appears in his mind. 

"if you leave me, baby." he sings softly, bopping his head to the future harmonies and melodies this track might have. haoyu smiles at his slightly hunched figure, basking in his raw vocals. 

he mutters some more lyrics as the instrumental concludes. 

"if you leave me. we should call it that." seokmin affirms to himself before looking up at haoyu. "do we have permission to use your instrumental, haoyu-ya?" 

7/9 tracks were officially completed.