Today, as I was peacefully sitting at my desk waiting for the bell to ring and Mr. Weid's melodic voice to pierce the air, Christopher decided to ruin my tranquility. He attempted to steal my beloved briefcase. How will anyone know I mean business if I don't have my briefcase??? However, I squealed in delight — it is my Chrissy after all. I go back to waiting and sit sassily. Crossed legs and a briefcase. Hah. everyone will respect me.
Whilst I wait, I think of the many ways I can make everyone's life a living hell.
Instantaneously, I notice the Weid at his desk. Disappointed I missed him hobbling in, I start to quiver, but quickly stop as I notice how hot bare his arms are.. mm just like a baby. Today will be the day I seduce him. It has to be.
I take notice of Katie sitting behind me. I decide to show her something interesting. I shove my nail right in front of her face. I tell her how I broke it scratching at the walls in Mr. Weid's house. I am a mole man.
I turn around quickly because I don't care about what she has to say. I am superior and only my opinions matter.
The previous night, which happened to be another night at Weid's house, I got bored of watching him sleep. What better to do than make a dirt cake right from the dirt under his house?
"Mm it'll be extra Weid flavored" I mused "I will make him love me" I whispered this quietly, but loud enough so it would echo through the vents. God, I love the sound of my voice.
Back at school, I jittered nervously in my seat. It's time to present my dirt cake. Mr. Weid spots it. He waddles over to my seat and asks "is that for me?" I nervously nod my head, not breaking eye contact. I feel the burning heat rise up to my cheeks. Sweat drips down my... other cheeks.
He snatches the cake, slams it on the ground, and launches it out of the door with his broom, just like he had done to a roach earlier.
Now enraged, I turn around and take it out on worthless Katie. What an insulting shirt she has on. As a Christian, I find it very offensive.
In need of succor, I go over to my bubba baes, Christopher and Charlie. That moment is quickly ruined when my 3th sense goes off again. I see Evy in my desk. I dash over and flip the desk with her in it. She goes flying — farther than the cake and the roach.
When I think I've finally found peace, Christopher comes over to try and steal my calculator! Fists fly and I come out as the victor (of course). I NEVER lose!
YOU ARE READING
The Diary of Jimotheé Gujjie
RandomA heartthrobbing tale of excitement covering widdle Jim-Jim's shenanigans. Note: This story was written in a google doc during 6th period chemistry. Please, for the love of God, don't take this seriously.
