The Real Mansion Madeleine

Woes of a Paladin

Life gets interesting when you're housing a whole kingdom of cookies in your mansion.

It gets less interesting when you're locked out of said mansion.

Let me explain how I got into this precarious situation.

I was patrolling, as you do when you're the best paladin around. The divinest knight patrolling in the divinest night. My eyes gleamed in the beautiful sunset. As is when you have the duty of protecting the innocents from any evildoers.

My luscious locks flowed in the night air and my cape bellowed in the wind. It was a great day to be a cookie such as myself. If only the other cookies could experience the glory of having a job as prestigious as mine.

"Get on with it!" Almond yelled from the windowsill.

"Alright, alright, I get it," I replied, exasperated.

I continued the story.

In the household, the first rule is incredibly strict:

Curfew is at 8:00 PM, anyone coming later will not be let in.

This rule was made by the oh so great Almond Cookie who interrupted me earlier.

Anyways, my patrol was extending quite late. Later than usual. You could even say, 'past 7:30 PM' late. Like, the other cookies probably left out my dinner in the cold, kind of late.

Still, though, I had to complete the patrol. Paladin's code. Not only am I an incredibly good role model, I am also incredibly dedicated to my work. Time could tick by all it wanted while I finished my tasks and nothing would change. I would get the patrol done and everyone would notice my prestige.

I got to the house and checked the time on my phone. It was 8:02 PM.

I quickly knocked on the door. Mayhaps there was leeway for the curfew. A few minutes of wiggle room to get into the house.

Mayhaps there was not.

Almond Cookie answered the knock, creaking the front door open enough to peek an eye through. He blinked before opening the door wider, revealing a considerably disappointed look on his face. He probably would've crossed his arms if he didn't have a cup of coffee in one hand.

"It's past 8:00."

"Yeah... May I enter?"

I was definitely being hopeful, but it was worth a shot. After all, I couldn't imagine sleeping anywhere other than my comfy bed.

"You know the rules, Madeleine. Curfew is at 8:00." Almond took a sip of his coffee.

I faltered, "Wait, please, I was up later than usual because of my patrols-"

"Good night." Almond didn't even give me the time of day, immediately shutting the door.

I stood at the welcome mat. Some of the letters were worn out from foot traffic. The light by the door turned off and I heard footsteps walking away. I really was locked out, wasn't I?

It was cold. I locked my arms together and shivered. I did not know that staying out just a little bit later had such dire consequences.

A particularly harsh gust of wind blew by and my cape flapped behind me. My armor rocked and clattered in its place. I sat down, scooting up close to the siding of the house. I grabbed one of the ends of my cape, pulling it over myself.

It didn't help much. The cape was covered in a thin layer of grime from the day's work. As another gust of wind reached me, it was just as cold as the last.

Yeah, the cape wasn't exactly wind resistant. Though, in my search for more cover I did find something that was.

I shuddered. It was the doormat. The old doormat used for at least a year; and not even cleaned once in the process.

I did something no paladin should have to go through.

Did I use the doormat as a blanket? Yes. Did I enjoy the experience? No. Did I cry myself to sleep? Only a little.

Though, there was something comforting about sleeping under the stars with the crickets chirping nearby.

There was nothing comforting about waking up to Espresso staring at me from the front doorway. He was wearing his usual expression, but I couldn't help but feel like he was disappointed in me.

"...Did you sleep well?" Espresso asked, with as much concern as he could possibly have as someone with less than 2 hours of sleep in the past week.

I looked up at him, still on the ground, "I got kicked out."

Espresso facepalmed, "How the fuck do you get kicked out of your own house?"

"It was past curfew," I said, trying not to sob, "Almond Cookie wouldn't let me in."

"Just go in through the back entrance. Everybody does that," Espresso countered, hands moving to the sides of his hips.

I sat up, the doormat was still in my arms, "I got kicked out fair and square. A knight does have morals, you know."

Espresso sighed, hopping past the doorway and over my sitting place. "How did you even get in this situation in the first place?"

I got up and placed the doormat back in its spot, turning towards him with a grin, "Do I have the story to tell you."