The Real Mansion Madeleine

The Everyday Life of a Vampire

When a large quantity of cookies live in the same house, there's bound to be a rooming issue eventually. This usually ends up in strange housing arrangements, like Espresso Cookie living in the first floor bathroom or Fig Cookie living in the shed outside. For Vampire Cookie, this presented a unique case:

He had no place to stay.

Vampire would often wander the house on his own, crashing wherever was the most convenient. Out of all of the cookies, he knew this house the best. One day, he'd find himself snoozing on the bed of Cocoa Cookie's room since she left the door open, and the next he would find himself taking a nap in the pantry. Most of the time, though, he would sleep on the floor of whatever story of the house he happened to be on.

A lot of the time he'd be found by other residents of the mansion, curled up in his cape and snoring. He often slept like a rock. Sometimes he'd be relocated to the couch in the living room, sometimes he'd be left there to wake up on the hard floor, and sometimes he'd get pranked by the children of the house.

That's how Vampire Cookie found himself hanging from the overhang on the back porch one day. He had to admit that waking up to everything being upside down was quite disorienting. What was more disorienting, though, was the bright sun waking him up with beams of light that rivaled entire flashbangs.

Vampire groaned. When did he fall asleep again? It seemed like not too long ago he was wandering the halls of Mansion Madeleine with a glass of grape juice in one hand and his phone in the other, drunkenly shitposting memes and sending them to Hollyberry Cookie; whose contact name, by the way, was 'Wild Juice Chase'.

The sun was just rising. It couldn't have been too long that he was in this position.

Either way his head ached with the hangover he was having and the sunlight directly in his eyes wasn't helping. Vampire moved to cover his face with his arms, but found them stuck, pressed against his side. He thrashed back and forth, trying to free himself. Was he swaddled in his own cape?

Vampire Cookie, still disoriented, assessed the situation. He was upside down on the overhang, it was about sunrise, and he was indeed swaddled. The cloth of his cape wrapped around him tightly, securing him into place.

He had to admit, if the sun wasn't shining in his face, this was the most comfortable sleeping position he had ever been in.

He finally got himself undone and walked back into the mansion, questioning his life choices. Did he really think that the position was comfortable or was he just that desperate for a permanent place to sleep? Would he continue to sleep upside down? Where would be the best place?

He was so deep in thought that he almost didn't notice Madeleine wandering out of the first floor bathroom, which happened to be Espresso's bedroom. He decided not to question that.

Madeleine bumped into Vampire. He turned around, mildly panicked.

"Umm, how long have you been standing there?" Madeleine asked, trying to sound as calm as possible.

"Oh, not too long" Vampire responded with a smug look on his face.

"Speaking of, I need to ask you something."

"What's up?" Madeleine asked.

"So, I was wondering if there was any space that i could sleep in," Vampire asked, "It doesn't even need to have a bed, or even be very large."

"Well, there is one place I can think of." Madeleine tilted his head in thought, "I'm pretty sure there is an old storage closet somewhere on the second floor. If you really wanted to, you could sleep there. But I will warn you it's cramped and there's probably spiders in there."

"PERFECT, LEMME GO FIND IT!" Vampire yelled, taking off.

"Suit yourself." Madeleine shrugged and continued on his way.

Vampire bolted up the stairs to find the closet, incredibly excited. He opened the dusty old door and then took in the sight of the storage closet. It was overrun with cobwebs and dust, but it had a wonderful place for him to perch in the night.

He didn't even bother cleaning it before slamming the door shut and immediately crashing in the pitch black darkness. He fell asleep knowing that if he ever wanted a cleaner space to sleep on any certain day, Cocoa's room was never locked.