The Real Mansion Madeleine

The Worlds Worst Sandwich

"I've been nervous to do this for a while, but I think it's finally time. Time to do what you may ask? Time to tell my fellow ancients about this huge life changing decision I'm about to make." Dark cacao anxiously monologued to himself. He thought about giving himself a pep talk alongside a pat on the back, but that seemed a little excessive.

"HOUSEHOLD MEETING" Dark Cacao boomed from the kitchen. All his 'housemates' came running down from the shared bedroom. There was a chorus of voices that followed:

"What's this about?"

"What happened Dark Cacao?"

"Are you alright?"

As everyone went to take their seats on their respective stools, Dark Cacao cleared his throat, "I think it's finally time to tell all of you..."

He paused for dramatic effect.

"...I want to try and go vegan."

There was an immediate reaction from everyone in the room. White Lily was shoving Golden Cheese who bursted into sudden laughter, Pure Vanilla suddenly looked excited, and Hollyberry crossed her arms in suspicion.

"Wait.... you WHAT?" Golden Cheese was the first to talk, still struggling to breath with how hard she laughed.

"I'll try with you, it sounds fun!!!" Pure Vanilla and White Lily shouted simultaneously.

"Are you absolutely sure, old friend? I know you and your fellow Dark Cacao Warriors basically live off of meat! Have you ever actually eaten a vegetable in your life?" Hollyberry questioned.

"Well... Uh, no" He said, looking down at the counter top, "I never actually knew meat came from animals and now I feel bad."

Golden Cheese continued laughing her ass off while struggling to say; "YOU DIDN'T KNOW!?"

"Hey you guys HAVE TO REALIZE THAT I GREW UP IN A VERY SHELTERED PALACE!" Dark Cacao defended himself.

After all the other ancients finished laughing at him, they finally got into the car and went to various stores and farmers markets to get lots of food that would fit Cacaos diet.

Pure Vanilla was excited, handing Dark Cacao his favorite fruits and veggies so he could try. Hollyberry and White Lily were looking through vegan variants of normal food, questioning how good vegan Bagel Bites were. While All of the other ancients were busy trying to help Cacao, Golden Cheese taunted him with a bag of cheddar cheese.

After spending far too much time and coins at the stores, they finally arrived home.

Dark Cacao was getting hungry so he decided to make a sandwich and grabbed the ingredients. He was nervous but he was proud of the sandwich he made. His sandwich contained two pieces of bread, an entire tomato, a whole cabbage, some lettuce, some vegan cheese, an entire onion, some mayonnaise, and some mustard. It wasn't a very good sandwich but it was a start, and Dark Cacao was determined.

Pure Vanilla and Golden Cheese witnessed him making the atrocity of a sandwich.

As he tried to eat it, Vanilla decided to go up to Cacao and help him make a better sandwich while Golden Cheese was trying not to burst out in laughter.

"So what did you want in the sandwich?" Vanilla asked.

Cacao listed off everything that was in the sandwich, "Uh well i put two pieces of bread, a tomato, cabbage, lettuce, vegan cheese, onion, mayonnaise, and mustard."

"First off, you need to cut the vegetables you put on your sandwich, it makes a better ratio and makes it easier to eat, also then you don't need to eat an entire cabbage all at once." Pure Vanilla explained.

"Oh... That makes sense" Cacao responded, looking at his 'sandwich'. The lower piece of bread was flattened by everything that was on it. 

"Also, there is a major flaw in your sandwich," Pure Vanilla added, "Mayonnaise isn't vegan, it has eggs."

"IT'S NOT VEGAN?!" Cacao cried out. He fell to his knees and started bawling on the kitchen floor. Pure Vanilla came over to comfort him.

Pure Vanilla sighed, not expecting to have to comfort a crying Cacao today.

"There are firsts every day," Pure Vanilla muttered under his breath.

"Here, come on Dark Cacao, I'll teach you how to make a good sandwich."

One excruciatingly long hour spent teaching and sandwich making later, Dark Cacao finally got what he wanted, a ten million percent vegan sandwich! He bit into it and it started crying tears of happiness.

Pure Vanilla rushed over and yelled, "What's wrong, are you alright?"

"Yes, I am fine. This sandwich is just so perfect" Dark Cacao said through the tears, savoring each bite. Golden Cheese and Hollyberry, who witnessed this ENTIRE ORDEAL, couldn't stop themselves from laughing their asses off. They were definitely going to make fun of Cacao for this later.

They were confused though as they witnessed Dark Cacao open Snapchat to take a photo containing only his half eaten sandwich and middle finger.

The snap had the written subtext, 'fuck you too'.

He sure had a dynamic with the cookies he knew, that was for sure.

Upon dinner, Dark Cacao had realized a major flaw in his plan to go vegan:

The ancient cookies all eat ice cream for dessert and he could NOT go without his signature sundae; chocolate ice cream, rainbow sprinkles, whipped cream, and a cherry on top. He struggled to resist.

After several days of eating vegan and being proud of himself for resisting the urges, Dark Cacao realized he had an intense craving for Pepperoni Bagel Bites.

As anyone with a Bagel Bite craving would do; he caved in.

And thus was the end of Vegan Cacao.

Dark Cacao's brief days of a purely vegan diet had become a frequent tale that Hollyberry Cookie told whenever she drank a little bit too much grape juice.