so what if you made a deal with an omnipotent god and then got hit by a car

wait a minute murder is illegal

Landing ass first on the ground.

I sat there for a second mentally cursing monkey king for making me fall off. I fell when MK was about to grab the staff so red son hadn't turned around. I couldn't bolt out of here myself because that would mess up the whole ass chase scene that's supposed to happen. 

As red son gets closer to MK I get an idea. Before DBK could say anything I started making fun of red son.

"Hey fire boy, how weak must you be to need to go after a noodle delivery boy in order to show off your strength?"

He turned around, literally steaming. I took a deep breath right before he went up and grabbed me by the neck, choking me. 

"How DARE you I am RED SON-"

"Yeah yeah we all get that you're compensating for being short and ugly, why don't you get on with it already."

I wheezed as his grip tightened, oddly enough I didn't feel like I had to breathe? Thinking this was odd I decided to stall and annoy him even more. I stopped breathing and watched with a smug look on my face as he started to get confused after about a minute.

"How- HOW ARE YOU NOT DYING RIGHT NO-"

He was cut off when MK fucking boked him over the head with the staff. I backed up behind him while he did that weird slash thing. Continuing to hide like a coward I watched him flail around, almost hitting me a few times.

"STAY BACK I DON'T KNOW HOW I'M DOING THIS STUFF"

"That staff doesn't belong to you little boy, and it over."

"Mmm.... no?"

"Okay I didn't even move that time-"

 Recognizing this part I grabbed on when he said that, holding on for dear life as we blasted outta there like team rocket. Seriously I even heard the sparkle noise but I'm not sure if that was just me. 

--timeskip #yass--

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK- I panic as we're in the chase scene. How the hell am I gonna explain surviving this????? How could I have forgotten about this???? While I'm internally screaming I hear the commotion between MK and red son until- 

THE CAR FUCKING BROKE DOWN. Being absolutely done and just trying to survive at that point, I scoop him up like a damn football, snatch some hoverboard yelling an apology and fucking book it. 

From there it's pretty predictable for a bit. Red son gets trapped in a tight alley, he converts the car into a fast as hell slightly smaller weird racecar, I try to remember what happens next until red son and MK interrupt my thoughts by talking.

"Come on where did you even get that"

"What? You think I drive anything without at least ONE complex transformation?"

Oh right, that. As red son tries to smush us like bugs with his weird racecar I jump ship, holding on tight to his car with MK. I did not fucking sign up for this. Hitting the road closed sign I mentally prep for what's about to happen. As Mei appears last minute I latch onto MK's leg as she grabs his hand. 

How the hell does she even do that weird green dragon hologram looking thing anyways. Latching onto the very back, trying my hardest to balance above the wheel I sigh in relief as that shit's finally over. When Mei stopped I practically melted into the sidewalk.

I got up and dusted myself off, holy shit my clothes needed a wash. Too tired to listen to whatever Mei and MK were doing I was about to walk away before I got fucking yoinked by Mei.

"Oh hey! You're that person MK hit while he was doing deliveries earlier!"

I blinked at her for a second, she seemed very casual about that part. Honestly it was mildly concerning.

"You wanna join us for some monkey mech?"

I- yknow what? I'm too  tired to question this. I was about to answer when-

"And MK you should invite your new edgy friend too."

"Yeahh he was trying to kill me"

After that, basically the same stuff happened from the episode and I just zoned out as pigsy scolded MK and I started to pay attention again when MK ran off. 

"Soooo- no monkey mech?"

Apparently pigsy didn't find that funny because he turned around and was about to say something about it when-

"Wait aren't you the person MK ran over? What are you doing here?"

He seemed suspicious of me, squinting and crossing his arms at me. This is gonna be a long day

(A/N I wanted to keep stuff from here pretty episode accurate but it's gonna derail a bit from here. I just spent all day doing groceries and moving some furniture so I'm too tired to write any more. Have a good day y'all)