Maybe this TIME

VIII. Mikhael's Decision

Sometimes, loving someone makes you feel like losing yourself. The efforts, hard works, comforts, waiting times, even your dreams with him are not worth it in the end, it makes you regret things you should have done instead.

This time, I'll focus on myself, making the most out of what  I can do.

That time when Chris approached us and said "So, kayo na ba?"

Khael answered "YES", I was shocked at what he answered and I just walked away.

Susundan ako ni Mikhael but Chris stopped him and said "Let's leave her alone for a while"

That day was so painful for me, I just went home and locked myself in my room for the whole day

I can hear mom calling me many times and even knocked at my door repeatedly but I just want to sleep, be lonely and forget everything.

Hindi namamalayan ang oras, gabi na pala, it was 6:45 PM, I went out my room and asked mama if I can go out for a while

"Ma, punta lang ako kina Darlene"

I left the house at 7:00, I called Darlene kung nasaan siya

"Bes, nasaan ka? Can we have a date 😊?"

"Sure bes, minsan lang to ee, where to go?"

"Kahit saan basta kasama ka" with laughing emoji at the end.

So I met with Darlene sa plaza, we bought foods and drinks and just sat down there and talked.

"Kamusta ka bes? Are you okay na?" she said.

"I admit hindi, mahirap paring tanggapin, even though never kami nagkaroon ng relationship but I know we loved each other back then, hindi ko alam kung hanggang ngayon"

"Maybe you should let him go, it's been 5 years already, andami nang nangyare sa mga buhay natin, nakayanan mo nga during those days na wala siya, hindi mo siya nakikita at nakakasama"

"Yes I know bes, pero hindi lang yung about kay Chris ang concern ko, I'm also confused about how I feel with Khael now, I was happy na bumalik si Chris pero bakit parang meron at meron paring dahilan para hindi kami magkaroon ng happy ending, iniisip ko nga baka hindi nga talaga kami para sa isa't isa, what if si Khael talaga bes, nagbulag-bulagan lang ako?"

"I saw how sincere si Khael sayo, but the fact na binalikan ka ni Chris at dinedeny nya mga issues, what if hindi talaga totoo at talagang he fixed himself first bago ka niya balikan?"

"Hindi ko na alam bes, magulo na talaga ang isip ko ngayon"

"Please choose yourself this time, while everything is uncertain, at least be sure about yourself, about how you feel, about your future plans, about your future life"

"I think you're right! This time, it will be ME"

Darlene and I talked more about life and our future plans, we're already 22 and we're old enough to worry about love, we must worry about life.

I was a private teacher near our place, it's been 2 years already since I employed there, at first, I plan to teach in a private school for three years but since I want to achieve my plans earlier and as soon as possible, I resigned and seek opportunity in the government.

I took the risk and began improving myself, I took a lot of lessons, different workshops and trainings for professional and self-development.

I enrolled in different classes that can add points to my application.

I made myself busy night and day just to be the person I really want to be, to be a professional teacher, meet more people, students, learnings and opportunities.