Cursed

Chapter Thirty Three

A little around six am the following morning, Leif returned. He was calmer now. He wasn't feeling so clouded with what if's and thoughts of a toxic nature. Leif had a plan. He would come back, and...apologise.

Explain. Confess. Right, confess. I need to apologise first.

He knew his behaviour had been less than pleasing, Lex had been right. Leif was constantly at war with himself, with the way he felt because he simply did not want to feel. At all.

Especially the things he was feeling for Elora Greyson.

He didn't deserve her, the young woman was too nice, too untouched by trauma, so he believed. She would have run a million miles away from him had he told her straight up about his past.

About Anders, about the way he's treated his former lovers. The reasons why he's no good, why he's practically human. Why he cannot wield his fire magic, or benefit from the full strength he had as fae and hasn't been able to in centuries. He could heal, if only as a laugh in the face. You cannot die, Leif, you cannot die but you can heal, so if you try, ha!

If he could have done it, if he could have put himself out of his misery, he would have done so a millennium or so ago.

But he couldn't. He had tried, despite the words burning into his brain from many centuries ago.

"Heed our words, Leif Hartvigsen. You shall walk this earth alone. You shall walk this earth powerless. You shall walk this earth knowing that you have only yourself to blame for your actions–'

Leif shivered. He refused to think about it a second more. Giselle didn't deserve the hand dealt to her. He knew that, he was sincerely sorry for that. Anders had shown Leif what it was like to be normal to live and love freely, to enjoy life.

Anders, his twin brother who had died fourteen years ago. Leif has mostly reverted back to his prior ways since. Losing Anders had been losing hope. Hope that one day Leif could be a better man, could be free, could be...alive, again, if he was ever truly alive in the first place.

He sighed, reaching for the silver door handle at Lex's house. He wondered how Lex and Elora would react to his return, if they would accept his apology.

Even if Elora forgave him, he knew that didn't mean she accepted him. Or that she ever would. And why should she forgive me, accept me? I've been a walking red flag.

He didn't think to knock. Lex had been in his life for the majority of it. They haven't been close or seen the other much in the last fourteen years but prior to that, the three of them had been a family.

As for Elora, he was attempting to convince himself that she would be happy to see him.

What he hadn't been expecting, however, was to enter into total silence. It was six am, still early but most mornings Lex would awake and sitting before the fire, working on whatever it is he worked on with his computer. Leif liked to tease him about it, since he had never seen what it was exactly that Lex did for a living.

"It's me." Leif called out. Nothing.

He began the ascend to the bedrooms when he could feel something, sense something. A change in the atmosphere, it kind of reminded Leif of a time before he lost his entire self to a curse so deserving; just how easy it was to notice things many would not.

He had this sickening feeling in his gut. Something wasn't right, but he had not felt anything from the blood bond, Elora is alright. He had no doubt in Lex's ability to protect her, to keep her safe if needed.

"Angel?" Leif called softly, not knowing what he would say when he made it to the top of the stairs.

Lex appeared, psychically appearing into existence at the top of the staircase dressed in black jeans and a dark blue long sleeved shirt that clung to his muscles like second skin.