Under My Skin

Part 5- Reconciliation

Author's Note: 

So for this chapter I was listening to  Hold Me Now by the Thompson Twins  because I feel like this song best describes Hangman and Rebel's relationship. (if you want to listen to it while reading this chapter go for it hehe). 

Also: 

T.W. This chapter has swearing and talks about self-harm and mental illnesses. I will add a reminder before and after, feel free to skip that part if you need :)

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"Em we need to talk. I know you're pissed at me, and I don't blame you. I messed up bad, but we need to talk." 

"Fine let's talk. You left me in the street to get run over James! I almost fucking died! And you stood there! You fucking stood there and let that happen!" Emi was almost yelling at this point, tears in her eyes, "I cared about you! So much! You and Bradley were my whole world!" 

James stood and walked over to Emi tears forming in his eyes, "Em I have hated myself every single fucking since that. If I could go back and change it I would, I would have made it me who got hit. You mean the whole world to me and I am so sorry for everything." 

Without thinking, James pulled Emi in, kissing her.  Butterflies flew out of Emiliana's stomach, she felt like she was drowning in feelings she had since she was 18, feelings that were hidden but now making its appearance. She had never noticed she felt this way about James, but it felt like a weight was lifted off her chest as she kissed him back. 

All James felt was passion, he had been in love with Emi since he was 18, and he finally got his girl, and he felt like he was on cloud 9, a high he never wanted to leave him. After what felt like eternity (but was only about 30 seconds) they both pulled back and smiled at each other. 

"God- Em I have wanted to do that since I was 18." 

"And I was 14... yeah that's weird." 

"Well- I- uh, shut up," both started laughing, "what do you say we get out of here?" James asked reaching out his hand. 

"I would love to James," Emi said, taking his hand, and following him back to his car and his house. 

---- 

James woke up to Emi sleeping on his chest, her brown hair in a tangled mess, her rhythmic breathing sounding like a beautiful melody. The way she was laying, hugging him, he felt safe for the first time in a while. He lay there, stroking her hair, not wanting to move as he didn't want to disturb her. Murmuring under his breath, "I love you Emi. I've loved you since I was 18," then planting a delicate kiss on her head, then going back to stroking her hair until she woke up about 10 minutes later. 

Looking up at James, Emi reached up, kissed him, then said "Good morning." 

"Mornin darling. How did you sleep?" 

"Really well, how about you?" 

"Good. We don't have to be at the base for another 3 hours, want me to make you breakfast?" 

"I would love breakfast. Thank you James." 

Trigger Warning

"Hey Emi, can I ask you something?" 

"Sure James, what's up?" 

Slowly grabbing Emi's arm, "What happened?" 

"I figured you would have noticed at some point. Uh- I went through a rough patch. After the accident, I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and PTSD. I guess this was my way to cope," Emi said, not wanting to look James in the eyes as she didn't want to see his reaction. She stroked the scars on her wrists and forearms, "I'm doing a lot better now- I talk to my therapist every Sunday at 7 pm, and I am keeping up with meds. If this changes anything, I'm sorry and I understand." 

James propped Emi's face to look his, "Why would this ever change anything? Sure you had a rough patch, but you said you're doing better now. I trust you and if you ever need anything I want you to know you can talk to me. Always." 

End Trigger Warning

"I know," Emi said before noticing her phone going off, "Shit! I forgot, I have breakfast with Nat  every Sunday at 8. I'm so sorry James, raincheck on breakfast?" Emi said, planting a kiss on his cheek, before using his sheet as a robe and running into his closet. 

"Totally- but uh Emi, you realize you don't have to need a robe when you're with me now right?" 

From the closet Emi yelled, "God I forgot you have a huge fucking ego," making James laugh. 

---- 

"You slept together?! Whatttt" Nat said, nearly choking on her coffee. 

"Oh yeah, why don't you yell it to everyone at the cafe. In fact, I don't think people in D.C. quite heard you, why don't you let them know?" 

"First- it wasn't that loud. Also, how was it?" 

"Good- really good," Emi said, finding it hard to contain a smile. 

"Well, I'm glad you two made up," Nat said grabbing her hand while smiling, "you deserve to be happy." 

"Shit it's almost 10, we gotta go to the base." Emi said, both girls getting up and walking to Emi's car. "Also, he said he loved me. He thought I was sleeping, but I woke up when he started stroking my hair." 

"Did you say it back?" 

"No!"

"Why not?! You do love him, don't you?"

"I don't know- maybe!" 

"Oh my God Emiliana, it's fine. Just go out with him more. Ask yourself if you love him, and if there is any part of you questioning it, you need to see him more." Nat said climbing into the passenger's seat. 

"Yeah I guess I'll do that. Would you stop looking at me all proud? Cmon' we're gonna be late." Emi said, pulling out of the parking lot. 

---

"Wait wait. So my plan worked?" Bradley said, looking at James.

"Yes- but put your eyes back on the road man! I just made up with her, I don't want you to kill us with your driving! I told her I love her, she was still sleeping but I said it. I really do love her Bradley." 

"Then ask her out on an actual date!! I'll help you plan it, but we're here. So I'll help after today's training session." 

"Okay- yeah. I'll ask her out on an actual date," James said, getting out of Bradley's car, just in time for Nat and Emi to get out. Nat and Bradley walked in together, and James held out his hand, Emi took it and they walked in together.