Born In The Deep End ☯Avengers & Female OC

Bad Ideas

Friday morning found me with three healing ribs from monday, a bruise in my favorite shade of blue on my shoulder that I acquired during an assignment and a few gashes on my torso from knife fight training.

Doable. It was my favorite motivation, it wasn't wishful thinking, it was doable and so long as the world kept spinning the positives out weighed the negatives. I pulled on my shirt and then smiled into the mirror. Some days it made me feel better than others. It didn't make a difference today, my stomach still flipped.

"Doable." I whispered and then I lifted my chin, pulled back my shoulders and relaxed my face. All I would need for today was a little confidence and just a dash of luck.

I quietly slipped into the kitchen and pilfered an apple from the fridge. My Father didn't have any rules regarding eating so long as he wasn't around and it wasn't for disciplinary reasons.

I ate my apple on the subway. I didn't quite realize how hungry, until I counted about three days since I'd eaten. Somewhere along the line I'd gotten used to it and it may have been one of my most useful skills.

At the bus stop I joined a rowdy group of 35 teenagers most dressed in some form of Avengers merchandise. I almost envied how they could idolize people so much, it reeked of innocence, something I knew wasn't well acquainted with.

"Alright!" Called Mr. Harrison at the bus door. "Let's get this show on the road!" I sighed. Only time would tell if this was a terrible idea, all I could do was hope my father was too wrapped up in his business to care. He only rarely did occasional and random check in's and it wasn't likely that today would be one of those days, but I could never know.

The bus ride was short, and I watched out the window in a haze, not thinking or comprehending. I inched my hoodie up a little higher around my neck and let the sleeves swallow my fingertips. I brought up my favorite memory, I was wrapped in my childhood blanket tucked into my mothers side as she sang me Irish lullabies, but I refused to let myself look up, because over time she'd become faceless and now all I held onto was the sweet sound of her voice. I remembered how her chest would swell with each breath and just how warm and soft her hands were, how every time they touched me, even when in anger they would never hurt, never leave a mark. It wasn't long after that that I learned just how much of a lie innocence is, but it was a sweet poison that I didn't want to let go of. And I still hadn't.

The bus lurched to a halt and a cheer erupted from the overly-caffeinated kids. We had arrived.

The tower was just as flamboyant up close as it was from afar. The Avengers logo hung from the side like a banner proclaiming their territory. I knew more of their secrets than most people did, they all had red ledgers and were known for being merciless when it came to mercenaries and maffias, neither of which put them on my idol list. So the goal was to not meet them or be noticed by them, but in a crowd of thirty-five super fans, I don't think I should gain too much notice.

It took much longer than usual to unload the bus, since all the rushing led to bags being dropped and the whole line being bottle-necked. When I finally did make it off I firmly positioned myself in the middle of the group. The massive sliding doors opened and the mob swept me inside along with them. As soon as I stepped across the threshold something slimy squirmed in my stomach. Images of me being caught and dragged bloody and screaming filled my mind. My breath had frozen and I immediately regretted the trail of decisions that had led me here.