Bea & the Broken Record

Chapter 18: Fixing

It was six o'clock when my eyes slowly opened to the brightness of the sun. I rolled over onto my back so I could stare up at the white ceiling in Bea's bedroom. I knew exactly where I was, surprisingly, because of the horrific events that went on the night before. My hand roughly ran down the front of my face and the sleepiness left mostly.

I rolled over onto my side then and panicked when I saw the bed was empty. I was the only one laying in it for only a second longer because I jumped up and out of it. I still had my basketball shorts on which was surprise considering I hated sleeping in shorts - boxers was enough for me.

"Bea?" I called, walking out of her room and carefully over to the bathroom. It was dark with all the lights turned off inside. I walked back inside and sat on the edge of the bed for a moment, looking out the window. It was slightly open and I realized that Bea was probably out on the roof. After I saw her, my heart slowed down and I knew she was okay. Well, as okay as she could have been. My eyes drifted to the floor and spotted her sketch book lying there. It looked like it had just been tossed on the floor, maybe from my arm knocking it off her stand in the middle of the night.

I picked it up and held it in my hands. That was the longest I had ever touched her sketch book and probably the only time I ever will get to be this close to it. My fingers were itching to open it as usual, but I only looked at the front. I read all of the quotes from books and song lyrics and band names that she liked. It was covered completely in doodles that gave it as much character as she had. When I tried to flip it open, I stopped myself once again.

I carefully sat the book back on her stand and stood up, walking to the window. I stepped outside and immediately felt the cold breeze brush against my bare skin. Goosebumps formed and I rubbed my arms as I walked down the roof barefoot.

"Bea," I said lightly, hoping she would be happier. She turned to me with a tear streaked face and sniffled. Her eyes widened slightly when she saw I was half-naked and quickly moved closer to me with her blanket open for me to enter her warmth. I wrapped my arm around shoulders and held the other end of the blanket for her she rested her head on my shoulder.

"Will you come back inside? I'm done cuddling with you." My attempt at being charming failed when Bea reached up to wipe a tear away from her eye. She stretched her left arm out of the blanket and grabbed my hand, lacing our fingers together.

"I like cuddling with you," Bea chuckled. "I just wanted some air."

"It looks like you just wanted air," I whispered. I wanted to drill her in every little thing that was going on in her life that made her so sad.

"I'm fine, Asher. I really am," she was lying and it was easy to tell. Not only did she look broken, but she sounded broken. The last time I was this conflicted, I broke my favorite record. Now I could place what I was feeling and it was unforgivable. Whoever cause Beatrice this much pain, I hated them. So much.

"No, Bea, you're not fine. And that's not okay," I pulled her closer to me. "But you will be, I promise. I'm not going to stop until you are."

Bea turned around to look at me with her big hazel eyes drilling holes into my own brown eyes.

"I love you, Asher. I love you so much."

With that, she kissed me until our lips were swollen. I finally stood up and picked up in my arms. We made our way inside the window and I dropped her onto her bed, crawling under the covers for warmth. Bea turned her TV on and flipped to a movie channel where it stayed for the rest of the day. We never got up out of that bed unless we had to pee, and Bea did once to take a shower.