Khudgarzi

10

Kaisi Teri Khudgarzi
Na Dhoop Chune Na Chhaaon
Kaisi Teri Khudgarzi
Kisi Thor Tike Na Paaon

Holy hell, how was I going to cover this up in front of Henna. These were evident bruises. Quickly calculating through my mind, I breathed in and said

"I fell?", in a very unsure tone

"Honey, if you want to convince me, you gotta be more sleek than that, ab batao, trust me and tell me what happened", she said

I closed my eyes, trying to think of something, opening them, I was met with Henna's concerned eyes and she looked thru my eyes searching for an answer but was met with my teary eyes, to which she said

"Okay, I won't pressurize you, tell me at your own comfort, but meri jaan please take care of yourself and prevent from falling like this every other day or so", she said

I nodded and wiped away my tears and wore the shirt and Henna sat me down, redoing my foundation and whatever that had been messed up. She didn't say a word whilst doing this, but I could see that she was deep in thought about something. After she refreshed my makeup, I went downstairs and quietly just finished the dinner. I didn't want further drama with aunty whilst coming back, so I just pretended to have a fever and left for home earlier, leaving the rest to be dealt with tomorrow.

The next day 
I woke up to see it was 6am, 6am here meant 3pm in Pakistan. I quickly got my laptop and typed an email to Ms. Ayra, I told her that I was in need of duplicates as my father had lost my previous ones and that I was ready to pay for them to be shipped over. Concluding, the email, I added my new mobile number for her to contact me further if needed. 

I went downstairs and did my chores for the day, to my surprise, aunty wasn't going to be home this week, as Saima baaji was pregnant and needed help around her house. So, it was just me and baba at the house. After some time, I heard my phone ping, it was an email alert from Ms. Ayra, telling me that she will help me get the documents and a WhatsApp text notification from her 

With the confirmed help of Ms. Ayrah, I decided that it was time to go talk to baba about this. I quickly made two cups of chai and made my way to baba's office. As I entered, I noticed baba was on a call, so I quietly set down the tray on the table while baba gestured me to sit. He finished up the call and looked really tensed. He came and sat on his chair and picked up the cup of chai

"Kya hua beta? Is everything okay?" he asked
(What's up, my child? Is everything okay?)

"Jee baba, everything is okay, if you don't mind me asking, who was on the phone? You looked really tensed", I said
(Yes baba, everything is okay. If you don't mind me asking, who was on the phone? You look tensed)

"Kuch nahin beta, bas business related tha phone, aap nay koi baat karni thi?" he said, whilst indicating towards me bringing my cup of tea
(No one important, my child. It was a business related phone call, did you want to talk to me about something)

"Jee uncle woh, uh maine, uh-" I stammered, a bit scared of his reaction
(Yes baba its just that- uh-)

"Beta, jou bhi bolna hai, bila jijhak bolo" he said
(My child, say whatever you want, without hesitation)

"Baba maine aagay university main parhna hai aur mujhay aapki permission chahiye", I breathed out in one sentence
(Baba, I want to study further in my university, I wanted your permission for that)

His expression was unreadable for about ten seconds and then he said 

"Masha'Allah Masha'Allah kyun nahin beta, I'm down to help you with every step of the way, even with the fees. I will accomodate you with everything mera baccha", he said, whilst giving me his blessings.
(Masha'Allah Masha'Allah why not my child, I'm down to help you with every step of the way, even with the fees. I will accomodate you with everything my child)

He then, proceeded to talk to me about the rest of the things that were left, like my documents and however how long they would take to ship. He told me about the nearby colleges and how he would take me on tour there in the upcoming days and I can decide whichever one, I like best. Things were finally looking up for me, Alhamdullilah!

SHEHRAYAR POV 

Running my fingers through my hair, I can't even stress upon how much of a mess my life has become in the past year or so, I don't know what to do, I can't always stay here again, I'd have to face my family one way or another. I didn't want to marry Ayla but my mother blackmailed me, yes you heard that right, she blackmailed me and I eventually had to say yes. I feel bad for Ayla sometimes, she's just nineteen and caught up in a mess that she doesn't deserve to be in. Truth be told, I had made it very clear to my mother, before our nikkah, that I would never truly accept her as my wife and I still don't, but she still pushed me to go ahead with it.

I feel like an asshole, but what can I do? I never imagined being married to someone other than Mila. Growing up, we didn't have a lot of brown people in our immediate neighborhood, it was just me, Saad and his younger sister Henna and Mila. My parents didn't want me to become whitewashed so they urged me to hang out more with the desi kids around us. Eventually, me and Mila fell in love back when we were in high school. I thought it was plain infatuation but soon it become serious, when I found out in college that her parents were to wed her off soon after she graduated. I couldn't bare the thought of her being with someone else, so I confessed to her and to my surprise, my feelings were reciprocated. 

I was the happiest man on Earth that day. We were in junior year of college, so we planned on getting married soon after we would graduate. We dated in secret for a few months, although we never crossed our religious limits but we fell more and more for each other in the passing months. These months that we dated were nothing less than heaven, I would get up early and get ready for college and spend every living moment of mine with Mila. However, three months before we graduated, Mila and her parents had driven down to Mississauga to meet a family friend and whilst coming back, had met with an accident. 

I rushed to the hospital to find Mila all bruised up and crying like anything, when I further asked around I had found out that Mr. and Mrs. Ahmed, had passed away on spot. Whilst comforting her, she told me she had no one left, which was true, her parents had runaway from Bangladesh and they weren't on really good conditions with anyone from their family back home. She was truly on her own and I couldn't let that happen, so I made the arrangements, called up Saad and Henna and within the next hour we had our nikkah done with Saad and Henna as the witnesses. For how could I be Ayla's when  I was already Mila's.

A/N: Suffering from shadeed writer's block. I had a basic outline of the story mapped out, but now I hate it, everything from this chapter is now written on impulse. So uh, I apologize if you don't like it. As always, don't forget to comment, vote and follow. I love y'all mwahhh!!