Khudgarzi

25

Na janay kyun tu hee tu
Dil mein bassa hae
Tere bina kya jiyoon
Bikhra ye mann kya sitam
Tu ne hein dhaaye
Phir bhi mein kuch na kahoon

Ayla POV

The entire world was spinning around me, Shehryar and Mila were married, they lost their baby because I came into the picture. I was kept in the dark about this entire situation. I didn't know what to feel or what to say, I had 600 different emotions going through my mind and I didn't know which side of mine should I channel. I decided to keep my calm about this all and took a sip of water and asked,

"Shehryaar, did my parents know? That you were a "divorcee"?", I said, whilst doing air quotes

"Yes, no, I don't know, I did try to talk to your father before the nikkah but he told me its all good", he said

"So they knew?", I asked

"Yes they did Ayla. I'm pretty sure ammi mentioned my failed marriage with Mila beforehand and I think he's a smart man, he would've understood what I had been trying to say", he said

"Why did you guys do this to me?", I was now in tears

"I'm geniunely really sorry Ayla, I didn't mean to bring it this forward. You have no idea how much stress I've been through", he said

"Stress? YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH STRESS? MY ENTIRE LIFE IS RUINED, I AM IN A FOREIGN LAND WITH NO FAMILY TO LEAN ON TO. MY SO-CALLED HUSBAND ISN'T EVEN MINE", I said, now completely breaking down.

Mila came forward and offered me a hug. No matter, how much I hated what they had put me through, Mila had gone through almost the same, except she had a husband to protect her. And, I will be honest, I'm jealous. I hugged her back and cried till I had no tears left to form. Mila, decided to go to kitchen and get me some more water and something to eat. Shehryar switched seats and sat right oppposite to me,

"The day of Henna's nikkah, baba took me out right when we were about to talk right? Do you remember that?", Shehryar said trying to jog my memory

"Yes I do. What about it?", I said bitterly

"Baba had found out about me and Mila not being divorced. One of baba's shareholders had come to find out and he told baba everything", he said

"So baba was in on this too?", a new wave of tears somehow made it glistening my eyes

"No no God no Ayla. He wasn't, he knew and he did feel guilty for never telling you about the "divorce" but he had only found out that morning. So when he took me out for that drive, he confronted me about it and then asked me to free you from this relationship", he said

"So why didn't you? I could've had a fresh start", I said

"Oh God Ayla, there's so many times when I wanted to tell you. In fact I was going to tell you after baba had a heart attack, but I found out you started going to college, so I thought I'd tell you when you graduate so that you have a degree to finance your stay here", he said trying to reason out

"Bullshit Shehryar. Utter bullshit. Stop trying to pin your cowardice on me and just so you know, whatever Mila went through living with your mother, I've been through worse", I said, whilst grabbing my bag and started to walk out of the apartment, I needed to sort this situation out with everyone. I could hear Shehryar and Mila calling out to me, but I flicked them because I couldn't deal with them right now.

Salaar followed me out, he hadn't said a word but I was grateful that he was there with me, otherwise, I would've never been able to go through with this confrontation. I made a mental note to thank him after this mess was sorted. We went and sat in his car and handed me a water bottle, after I chugged it down, he said,