Seeing my father's grave and finding out the truth that everyone knew of his death but me brewed anger within. First, I dropped to my knees and cried to his grave. Apologizing to him that I wasn't there when it happened. That he died thinking I was missing. Then, I angrily cried to Laurance and Cadenza, cursing that they allowed me to stay in a state of oblivion like a child instead of treating me like an adult.
I didn't stay long for that visit. What was meant to be joyful turned into mourning and Dante leading me back to Phoenix Drop. There, I cried myself to sleep for days on end. When I thought I had nothing left within me to cry, I found another reason to. Laurance would walk in and begin to apologize to me, and I would get upset once more.
Kandi began to take care of me the way others tried for Garroth before the war. I didn't fight her, nor did I refuse. We'd go on silent walks, and she'd force me to drink to prevent dehydration from my tears. I ate little, but it was from my lack of hunger.
Others pitied me. There is one thing I have grown up hating all my life. I hate to be pitied. I was an orphan. My parents died. People pitied that. My father died. People pity that now, and it only makes me angry. The person who pities me the most is Aphmau, but she dials it back when it comes to Laurance.
Despite this, she claims she's seen Garroth multiple times now. It explains her disappearances in the night, but she always comes back alone. Little information is dispersed to us in return, but I've learned to overlook that due to how little time there truly is in the Irene Dimension without passing too much here.
I suppose it's just another thing for me to nitpick at.
"I feel like you're trying to medicate me," I say one day during our walk.
Kandi turns to look at me. She's confused at first, but it soon turns into a quiet laugh. "I didn't know that fresh air and a clear mindset was medication."
"It's a far better option than others I've seen," I retort. "Much better than a flask."
"I'll have to agree with you on that. I've seen far too many used for self-medication."
The air falls silent between us. It's a comfortable silence while we talk. I've felt better for the past few days. I get upset from time to time, but my pillow isn't wet when my eyes begin to rest again.
The wind picks up fallen leaves and blows them past me, picking up my hair and dropping it down my back. My eyes follow their path, waiting until they fall once more. "It's getting chilly," Kandi says, her eyes following mine. "We should head back before it grows cold."
I nod, not putting up much of a fight. I rub my hands on my arms to create more body heat, suddenly feeling cold after putting my mind to the temperature. The two of us walk closer to the other, nearly rubbing shoulders.
It's ironic. She comes from a lord's family and myself from the orphanage. Our worlds collide, and our backgrounds are a subject of the past.
We head to Kandi's house first, but a familiar face causes me to stop in the middle of her doorway. Kandi turns back to me, questioning what has caught my interest enough for me to let in the cold air.
I look back to her, but this doesn't stop my feet from walking forward. The sound of her footsteps are quick as she follows my path, appearing directly behind me once I stop dead in my tracks.
"Vylad," I mutter, a lump in my throat appearing. My mouth has gone dry and makes it hard to make it go away.
"Alex?" His tone differs from mine. Vylad's tone is full of uncertainty, while my own is disbelief.
Kandi mumbles something beside me. She takes a step forward, then another one, and her arms are quickly wrapped around his neck. His eyes remain locked on me when he hesitantly wraps his arms around her. From my angle, his return of the embrace looks stiff and loose.
Laurance places his hand on my shoulder, looking down at me skeptically. "How do you know Vylad?"
"How do you know Vylad?" I repeat after him, not wishing to share how our encounters started.
He only shakes his head before hesitantly answering. Laurance's eyes dart away from me for a mere minute before returning to mine. "I don't wish to answer that question."
"Then I won't answer either."
Neither one of us pushes forward for an answer.
