Genshin Scenarios & Oneshots, etc

Incorrect Quotes||Childe

!!CURSE WARNING!!

Y/n: remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with murder?

Childe: Stop romanticizing about the past-

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Scaramouche: Your....Right

Childe: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

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Y/n: WHATS YOUR TYPE

Childe: Oh anything really, but you especially ;)

Y/n desperetly as Childe bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE!

Childe: Oh! B positive

Y/n: DON'T TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Childe:

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Childe: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.

Y/n: You and me!!!

Childe, tearing up: Okay.

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Y/n: This is a mistake

Childe, enthusiastically: A mistake we're going to laugh about one day!

Y/n: But not today

Childe, still enthusiastic: Oh, no. Today's going to be a mess

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Childe: Don't worry, I know exactly what I'm doing. Everything is going to be fine!

Y/n: How can you still say that?

Childe: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

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Childe: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.

Y/n: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

Childe: Absolutely not.

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Childe: I know you're deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.

Scaramouche: It's not a joke.

Scaramouche: *sniffles*

Scaramouche: I'm a legit snack-

Y/n: Ikr-

Childe: Y/n?!

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Childe: How do I deal with my enemies?

Dotore: Kill them

Childe: That's a bit extreme, I was hoping for a more passive solution

Signora: Kill them only a little?

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Childe: You're 'the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans', what does that mean?

Scaramouche: It means i was second worst thing to happen to those orphans.

Childe: but what's the first worst thing?

*Awkward pause*

Scaramouche: Childe, they weren't always orphans.

Childe: 

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*Childe, Y/n and Scaramouche skipping stones on lake*

Childe: It's such a beautiful evening.

Scaramouche: Take that you fucking lake

Y/n: Thats for letting me fucking drown-

Childe: How does the lake LET you drown-

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Y/n: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million dollars?

Signora: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.

Scaramouche: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.

Signora: Good thinking

Childe: You can stab me for free ;)

Signora and Scaramouche: wtf-

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Childe: I can't believe you live nearby, and you won't let anyone crash at your place.

Y/n: You already know too much about me.

Childe: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won't let me crash at your place.

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Childe: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you're all invited

Signora: If?

Y/n: Great, the only party I've ever been invited to and they might not even die.

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[Scaramouche after cutting his long hair]

Childe, texting Y/n: Y/n! Help I'm being kidnapped

Y/n: Where are you?

Childe: I'm with some strange person. In a car. Help.

Y/n: I'll call Scaramouche.

Scaramouche, answering their cell: Y'ello?

Y/n: Where's Childe? They texted me that they were being kidnapped.

Scaramouche: Childe? Whaddya mean, they're right next to me-

Scaramouche: 

Scaramouche: I'll call you back. *Hangs up*

Scaramouche: THE NEW FUCKING HAIRCUT ISN'T THAT BAD!

Childe: WHO ARE YOU?!?