diluc doodles i find in my gcse notes as i revise bc i am bored and hate revising plus maybe a few kaeyas and others who knows
cover belongs to me
(my gcses are long over)
(there's only so many diluc doodles i could find so i just started drawing t...
it's been a long time so today i bring u a distraught aila
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poor thing
today i would like to do hmm perhaps a peaceful rant but not a rant a vent maybe but not like any sort of angry thing that's aimed at anyone just something on my mind feel free to ignore
perhaps this will be dilucious lore
but anyway
sigh
i rlly suck at comforting people. but then again i don't. i just comforted people so much to the point that i can't bring myself to do it anymore. it's been like this for at least a year now. i get so uncomfortable when people express worrying feelings around me because, selfishly, i don't want to deal with it. i don't want to deal with those kind of feelings anymore. of course i care, and i'm worried, but i literally cannot convince myself to try and comfort people anymore. i thought perhaps after an incident that happened that this would just be temporary and i'd be able to comfort people again but still after a year it makes me sick to my stomach whenever anyone shows any sort of mental illness towards me because my mental capacity simply cannot deal with it anymore. i feel so selfish
this is also precisely the reason why i ask people not to trauma dump in my books,, it's so exhausting, constantly having to read or hear negative things and having to think abt how to reply or what to do
like i'm sorry that happened to you, but i really, really just don't want to hear it. i'm not the person you should seek comfort in. that voice in my head will simply convince me that i don't care enough to deal with you.
but i do care. that's why i'm doing this stupid vent.
i care too much but also care too little. i care so much i get scared and upset and ignore the problem all together. instead of dealing with it and trying my best anymore i just leave it and hope for the best. it's tiring both ways.
the only way i can bring comfort these days is through my writing. but not everyone i want to comfort would read that, and i don't think i would want them to either.
ah whatever i'm falling asleep typing this so goodnight
also do u guys wanna know more of my interests other than genshin for mroe dilucious lore⁉️💯🔥
