Till forever falls apart

Chapter 2 : This is me trying

"Hi, this is the fabulous Shivina Kapoor, I'm currently busy but leave a voice message and I will call you back. Okey bye for now"

"Happy birthday shi...shivi bacha. I ...I wish we were together. I hope it's better where you are, that you are together with dad. I hope you both are dancing and laughing. This is the fifth birthday without you, but we will continue to celebrate every year.I believe that's what you would have wanted. Save me a dance,okey?"

I.. I love you to my very last breath" he said before the line died

Ram wiped the tears from his eyes, taking deep breathes like his therapist have instructed him to. Before he can call out for Tarun, he already was by his side giving him his stress ball. Ram walked around his room, squezzing the stress ball to get rid of the anxiety he could feel sneaking up on him.

"I'm Ram Kapoor. My dad was Virendra Kapoor, who fell in love with my mom Shivina and they got married. We were a small happy family, not the richest but the happiest. Mom died of blood cancer. Dad took care of me, told me stories about mom so I would never forget. Dad fell in love again, with the daughter of one of the richest men in the country at that time. Dad started to smile again, because of Nandini maa. I stopped having nightmares because Nandini maa would sing for me and make me hot chocolate whenever it was stormy nights. We became a happy family again, and our family grew bigger when Shubhum and Shivi got born. Then Dad died, no actually Dad was murdered"he said closing his eyes, his breath hitching all he wanted was to lay down and never wake up again.

"You have to keep going sir" Tarun reminded him

"Dad was murdered, but everyone believed it to be a car accident. I promised Dad before he died , I will take care of our family. I became successful and had the privilege to take care of my family, but I was lonely even surrounded by my family and friends. I longed for love, commitment and a successful marriage but thought that was never destined for me. Then I married Priya, for the sake of my sister. I fell in love with her, but she ruined me and along with her family she wrecked mine. Shivina died, too young to bright to leave this world at such a young age, the way she died was cruel and unfair. I miss her. I can't sleep, whenever I close my eyes all I see is the two woman I lost that night. I go to therapy, went to grief counseling and met this girl named Zoah."

Tarun smiled as realization dawned on Ram the moment, he uttered his friend's name. His grief buddy. Ram threw his stress ball away, drinking a glass of water that Tarun offered him before he quickly sent a text to Zoah.

I manage to stop the panick attack like you helped me too do, thank you Zoah

How are you feeling?

Terrible, I miss her Zo. I will talk to you later, need to arrange things for Shivi's birthday. If she had been here, she would have pulled my ear for being late

I'm there in 10

Why?

Because I will help you get the cake, flowers and the gifts to the shelter. I  know I can't take the pain away, but atleast I can walk beside you. I ju...just don't want you to have to deal with all this alone, today.

Okey, I will see you soon then. Thank you Zo :)

Ram smiled a small smile, his heart filled with gratitude for Zoah. Letting other people care for him, scares him a little because he is afraid to get used to that feeling. Like how his Nandini mom used to take care of him, but it all changed when his dad passed away. Ram lost his faith in people five years ago, making him build walls around his heart not allowing any new person into his space or his heart. Save him the heartache when the inevitable leave or betray him. Ram was certain he doesn't have any more room in his heart to care for another person, but he was wrong.

"Priya Sood, I refuse to die miserably in the trenches you left me in. I won't let you kill the man I once was. The one who loved you, adored you and trusted you. Because that part of me was also loved by shivi" Ram said tracing the tattoo of dove on his wrist .

A/N : Sorry for any typos. Let me know what you think :)