─── YOU MUST KNOW (⌗ ♥︎! ) 一 the summer i turned pretty ❜
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Contrary to popular belief, Conrad Fisher's life is far from perfect. He knows that he has it better than most people, don't get him wrong. He knows he's a privileged white, rich kid, but he really does hate it when people use the word perfect to describe his life.
If his life had been perfect, his mom wouldn't have gotten sick. He wouldn't have grown up seeing his mom suffering from cancer. His dad wouldn't have cheated on his ill wife. His mom would have actually gotten cured. He wouldn't have learned that his dad cheated. He wouldn't have found out his mom was sick again. And, if it had been perfect, he wouldn't have to keep the last two things to himself.
When they walked into the house after getting home from the bonfire, Conrad knew everyone would go to their rooms. He wasn't judging them for it because he wished he was as clueless as they were. He wished he could walk up the stairs and lay in bed, with his biggest worry being the hangover he would wake up with. The Conrad from last summer would have done that, but the one from this summer knew secrets he wasn't supposed to know. He was no longer clueless or oblivious. He could see everything clearly, and he hated it.
Even in his drunken state, he felt responsible for everyone, so he stayed behind to clean up after everyone's messes instead of going to bed. He felt like he had to stay back and fix everything. He was the oldest child, and this was part of his job, carrying everyone's weight and not complaining about it. Or at least that was what he had grown to believe in the past year - reason why he waited for everyone to go upstairs before cleaning up.
The boy collected every dirty dish and washed them all. He placed everything in its place and dried the dishes before storing them. His mom was the one who did those things every summer, and if she hadn't gotten sick again, she would have been downstairs cleaning. If this was any other summer, Susannah would have been cleaning up after everyone, and he would have been the one walking down the stairs pretending to look for a midnight snack because he knew she would be there and wanted to help her.
Once he was done with the kitchen, Conrad decided to go outside for a much-needed smoke break. He needed the weed to help him numb his pain for a little while.
He was on his way to the backyard when he saw her.
His hand had barely reached the doorknob when he looked up, seconds after making sure the joint was still in his pocket, only to see her reflection through the glass of the back door, causing him to freeze on the spot as he watched her, trying to hold back the tears that were ready to fall down his cheeks.
He took a deep breath, fighting back the tears, before turning around and slowly walking towards her. Carefully, not wanting to wake her up with any of his movements. He swallowed back the tears the moment he was in front of her.
