ELIZA

CHAPTER NINE: CONFRONTATION

I was in some kind of trance. DJ, music and Cosmo. That was all I needed to be happy at that moment. Not alcohol, not even Tom. He. We spent several hours on the dance floor and it was only when there were fewer people around us that I noticed that the sun was starting to rise outside the window. I completely lost track of the time.

We went to the beach laughing at the two girls who were arguing over a lost shoe in front of the club. Cosmo put his arm around me to keep me warm as the sun continued its slow rise to its zenith. It was great.

Unfortunately, this spontaneous trip couldn't last forever. Immediately after returning to the hotel (of course I was hoping for something more, but nothing happened between me and Cosmo) the man said that we would sleep for a while, and then we would return to our hometown.

I didn't object; I didn't want to seem desperate, although in that state I didn't think much about sleeping. One that I was really attracted to Cosmo, two that I was still under the influence of alcohol, which only increased my inability to lie in bed.

He was asleep, I was not. I thought for hours (or so I thought) about our complicated relationship. I contemplated that it just happened too fast and that it started from the wrong side. Maybe he lost interest in me? He was acting weird. Any other man would take advantage of a one-on-one situation with a woman. Cosmo just... seemed uninterested.

And suddenly it dawned on me. He didn't like me. He saw me in the daylight, not at night, and decided it was a mistake. He took me on a trip, probably to see if it could work out for us, but he had to come to the conclusion that it was not it. I wasn't the one for him. That would explain his coldness.

I guess I fell asleep somehow. Certainly not for long, because when Cosmo woke me up, I was very sleepy. But I didn't want to cause any trouble, so I obediently sat up in bed, forcing myself to wake up.

"Do you want to eat something?" he asked, but I shook my head.

"Drink," I said, reaching for a bottle of still water.

The man smiled and began to bustle about the studio apartment. I put on the clothes I had come in, and I folded the ones that Cosmo bought me.

"Are you leaving them here?" he asked, surprised, and I nodded.

I preferred not to think that these outfits are always here, because Cosmo comes here with many girls and that they also have to wear something. On the other hand, I saw the tags...

I didn't say much, blaming it on my hangover. Actually, I didn't have to pretend at all. While riding a motorbike I repeatedly refrained with difficulty from vomiting and when Cosmo refueled at some station, he said that I was "green in my face" and that "probably it's not normal".

"I'm fine," I lied, then went to the store to grab a bite. Unfortunately, after a hot dog, I didn't feel any better. The last hour was a torment. The bumpy roads made my stomach churn.

A frightening thought occurred to me on the bike. What if... I was pregnant? That would explain the nausea. But no... It's only been a week and we used protection. How stupid I was to think about it at all...!

I certainly didn't want to have children yet. Not when I didn't have a partner who can't even tell if he wants to be with me or not.

I will become an old maid, I thought, and with this statement we reached the block, where Cosmo parked his motorcycle.

"It's nice that you let yourself go on a trip," he said, turning slightly to me.

I huffed, but I don't think he heard it because at that point I got off the bike.

As if I had any choice, I thought, disappointed, because it was just in front of my apartment that I remembered about the exam that awaited me and the fact that I had to cram it right away, despite the fact that I was so terribly sleepy.

"See you," I said, and before he could say goodbye to me, I typed the code into the intercom and disappeared down the stairwell.

I didn't want to talk to him, I didn't really feel like doing anything, especially studying. I was angry and exhausted.

I knew I should spend the whole night studying. Unfortunately, I was too tired to learn; I was reading the same line several times, until I finally fell asleep over the notes.

I woke up at two o'clock. The hysteria that caught me up was the size of the Empire State Building, because I knew that I wouldn't learn anything more. I still tried to read something, underline the most important topics, but it was for nothing. The minutes were passing rapidly and the knowledge was still not getting bigger.

I washed up, took my notes and went to bed, devastated that I would fail the test.

When the professor announced the results a few days later, I wasn't surprised. The only shock for me was the fact that Barb didn't take the exam at all and that she had suffered from the "flu" for a week. I didn't believe in her disease, she just didn't want to confront me. She didn't want to tell me that Tom and her had broken up and I didn't ask for a meeting myself either.

Maybe it's strange, but I was glad that Barb and I would have to take the same exam. There was some inexpressible satisfaction that we would be sharing misery, even though I kept reproaching myself for my ill-considered decision to travel. I thought the trip with Cosmo was generally successful, but it was because of it that I failed the test.

During the weekend I went to Barb's apartment on my own. Unfortunately, my "ex" friend wasn't at home, which made me even more convinced that she made up the illness. I didn't give up, hanging around Barb's apartment building for two hours like some psychofan of hers.

Finally, I noticed her. She was walking with Oliver (yes, the same with whom she was making out on the dance floor when she was already in a relationship with Tom) holding hands. They couldn't see me, too busy with each other. He was whispering something in her ear, and she was fluttering her eyelashes. They even kissed, which made me completely stunned. I didn't understand anything.

"Hey," I said, walking forward to let them know I was there.

"Oh, hey," muttered Oliver, Barb was silent.

"You probably want to talk, so I'm going," he said, then he kissed Barb again (now - the French way), and walked away.

"We haven't seen each other for a while," she said. Her tone of voice was normal, even too normal for the whole situation.

"Yes," I admitted as we both headed for the apartment.

Barb entered the code into the intercom, which of course I also knew, and invited me inside.

She was very calm. It's true that I didn't catch her cheating, because I found out that she and Tom had broken up, but she didn't know it. I wasn't sure whether to pretend I didn't hear about the breakup, or on the contrary. We walked into the apartment and it started...

"You should be glad," I had many scenarios in my head, but none of them resembled the one that followed.

"Pardon?"

"You should be glad that you ruined our relationship," Barb's voice was still seemingly calm, although I knew her enough that I could feel anger in it.

"I don't understand," I said truthfully.

It crossed my mind that Barb thought that I told Tom something bad about her. Absurd, and yet...

"I didn't tell Tom about Oliver and..."

"You didn't have to."

I frowned, baffled. It felt like a hearing. I was an accused, though I hadn't committed any crime. In addition, Barb didn't look sad a moment ago when she was with Oliver.

"You won," she said, keep stalling again. "Tom is yours."