𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿 & 𝗱𝗼𝗴𝘄𝗼𝗼𝗱𝘀 🌸 Changlix

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Changbin stared at the release forms in his hand with an annoyed glare. They should've just taken him home. All the medical supplies they used didn't need to be used. Sure, the anesthetic was probably useful for his post-traumatic episode, but everything else was just the hospital leeching off of him. He hated hospitals for that reason. Some people became nurses and doctors to help, others did it for a high status that could take from people. Now Changbin had to pay an incredible medical bill. Well, it wasn't so bad since he did get the veteran insurance.
As he scanned over the pages for a second time, he realized that the money he was paying was going toward the equipment he'd broken. He closed his eyes with a sigh. So when Felix had said he was scared, he meant it. It wasn't a small anxiety attack he had witnessed Changbin go through. The officer signed the documents and handed them to the reception nurse. They shared an equally polite bow. Changbin left afterward. As much as he wanted to go home and rest some more, his boss wanted to see him before he could do that. It wasn't going to be good news.
"I want you off this case. I'm transferring you to the other station. You can deal with regular complaints-"
"Sir with all due respect, I'm fine. I can do this case. I want to do this case," Changbin told the chief.
"I don't know what to tell you, Seo. I can't let you. It's protocol. You're not only risking your life but your teams. I can't let you chase after this person when they have your greatest weakness in their hands."
Changbin's hands clenched by his sides so tight they began to turn white. "Sir, I-"
"The decision is final," the man said.
Changbin's shoulders loosened. There was no fighting it. He was off the case. He bowed his head, walking out of the chief officer's office when dismissed. Wooyoung and Yeonjun watched the man as he grabbed his coat and left. He didn't have anything he needed to pack up and move. It wasn't an office job he was working.
Changbin instinctively drove himself to the one place that felt safe. His mom would pester him at home, and he sure as hell wasn't going to impose on Jisung out of the blue. He'd just stay at the cafe for a bit. His plans for after—he'd get in his car and drive until he ran out of gas. Changbin rested his head on his steering wheel. He was getting a headache. There was so much on his mind. None of it mattered anymore since he wasn't on the case, but he still thought of it. Was the customer there by accident? Were the bombs planted beforehand? It didn't make sense for bombs to be planted in that specific shop. No, it did. The woman had said she was the only person around with knowledge of Floriography. She could have been lying to get more people to buy things from her shop. That was always an option. He cursed, slamming his fist into the wheel.
People were dying. Why couldn't he be useful? The stupid flashbacks kept bringing him down. He wished they would go away. He felt so weak. Once a soldier always a soldier—but then why was he so damn weak?
He shook it all off and climbed out of the car. When he got inside, he was met with a pacing Felix. He strode across the bakery floor back and forth, phone to his ear and thumb pressed between his teeth. "Come on, pick up," he whispered.
Changbin moved into Felix's line of view. Something wrong, he mouthed. Felix pulled his phone away from his ear and glanced at the screen before hanging up. "Liam isn't home yet. I went to get him and the teacher said he left with some friends. Liam doesn't have any friends. None that he's mentioned."
Changbin's jaw tensed. "I know who he's with. I'll go find him. Stay here until I call you. I'll have him explain when we get back," he said. He turned on his foot and left the building. His feet took him down the street. He walked for ten minutes until he heard familiar voices. It was those kids again. When he rounded the corner, he saw Liam sat on the ground, his palms face down to the concrete. He looked like he'd been hit in the face. Not hard, just enough to make his cheek red.
Changbin took a deep breath. The anger in his chest was spiraling into a circle. Video game characters always had those orb like balls of magic—Changbin envisioned his anger to look like that. He pushed his knuckles into the palm of his hand, nose wrinkling and brows furrowing. "I thought I told you to leave him alone."
The kids glared his way. Children were getting gutsy. "My dad told me that if you hurt us you'll go to jail," one of the boys said.
"And who said you wouldn't be going to jail for hurting others? It's an equal exchange. I have my cuffs on me," Changbin barked loudly.
The boys faltered for a second. They didn't look like they would give up easily this time around. "Like you would have the guts to go against my dad! Plus, what kind of adult threatens a child?"
Changbin raised his brows and smiled, tongue gliding over his pearly white teeth. He chuckled. "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy—alright, go get your daddy," Changbin taunted. He turned toward the wall. Rolling his shoulder in a few circles, he pulled his arm back, then sent it forward into the wall. The boys screamed as the officers fist contacted the cement. Changbin pulled back, relaxing his hand so it went straight. He showed the side that was cut and oozing blood. The boys ran with their tails tucked between their legs. "Don't mess with him again! I won't warn you a third time!" Changbin yelled.
He cursed silently, wiping his hand against his pants. The day just kept getting better. Changbin turned around and grabbed Liam by the collar gently, pushing him so he would start walking. It was obvious he wasn't in a good mood. He didn't realize he was scaring Liam until the boy fell three steps behind him. "I'm sorry," Liam mumbled.
Changbin slowed down so the kid was by his side. "I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at the world," he told Liam.
"Why? Cause I'm going to be a lot to handle? You can leave. Don't hurt my dad."
Changbin could tell Liam was going to start crying. His voice was growing hoarse. "That's not it either, Liam. As much as you want to get rid of me, I'm staying. Like I said, I'm not upset with you. I'm mad because of how they treat you and the fact that I can't do more to protect you."
Liam listened closely to the explanation. "You think they'll mess with me again?"
Changbin snickered. "Not if they're smart enough. If they do, call me. I'll chase their asses until they collapse black and blue from a lack of oxygen. Then I'll put them behind bars and have them beg and plead to be released. Once rich kids get a taste of punishment, they don't usually act up again. Daddy's money doesn't buy you out of everything. Not unless your dad is a lawyer or some type of government official. At most, those guys' dad own a market or work in an office as a manager. They can't pull strings. Even if they can, I can pull more."
The twelve-year-old smiled sadly at the ground. "I'm weak."
Changbin frowned. Those same words that had left him for a single moment. "Everyone's weak Liam. That's what good guys like me are here for," he said. When the bakery came into view, Changbin felt his stomach fill with nervous energy. "And that's also why people like your dad exist. He cares for people by allowing them to be weak with him. He's got a big heart and the results of that aren't always what you are expecting," he added.
"What's that supposed to mean—" Liam was cut off by the door of the bakery slamming open. There stood a panicked looking Felix. Changbin's breath caught in his throat. Angry Felix was going to come out for a visit after he found out about Liam's bullies, he was sure of it. When the two got inside, Felix looked over Liam's face with a worried expression.
"You have major explaining to do," he scolded his son.
Liam looked to the ground. There was no delaying the inevitable. "A couple of guys were picking on me cause you are my dad. They don't like me. I-" Liam's eyes started tearing as he spoke. "I don't know why they don't like me. I never did anything wrong. Dad, we didn't do anything wrong. Why do they hate us? Why can't we all be happy? Don't they know it hurts?" Liam slammed his fist against his chest. "It hurts here. It hurts so bad. Why do they laugh at it? Why does someone's pain make someone else feel good?"
Changbin's heart burned with every word that escaped Liam's mouth.
"Why do they do it? I hate them! I hate everyone! The ladies next door, my teachers, the kids that laugh when I'm at my lowest—I hate them all! I wish they would all experience what they've put us through! I hate their guts! I hope they suffer for the rest of their lives!"
"Changbin, they aren't bad people-"
"Good people don't hurt others, mom. They don't feel the best when you're at your worst."
"Everyone struggles."
"But why? Why do their struggles mean more than mine? Why am I an outcast because of someone who didn't care about me? If I don't care about him, they shouldn't either. Why is life so unfair? Why were we given this life? If you hadn't had me, those ladies wouldn't curse you. If you didn't marry him, you wouldn't have been hurt. I wouldn't have to be looked at like I do!"
Changbin tensed his facial muscles so he wouldn't cry. He knew those feelings all too well. He hated the fact that he was hearing Liam repeat similar things he'd once said years ago. He glanced at Felix who was trying his best to hold tears back. The brown-haired man looked side to side, up and down, and he even closed his eyes for a single second so that the tears would halt themselves. Then he smiled that amazing, breathtaking, beautiful smile and said, "The people with the kindest hearts hurt the most because they bare the feelings of many on their shoulders."
He was too damn perfect. So perfect that he couldn't even bring himself to show the hate he held in his heart to others, simply because he wanted to protect them. He was like Changbin's mother. Changbin would have to be the one to show Liam how to release anger. He was okay with that. He was more than okay with that. He made his way over to Liam and kneeled to his level. He wiped the boys tears. Then he continued off of Felix's words and said, "You have a kind heart, Liam. You can take a lot of punches. You don't have to take them all though. That's what your dad is for. I know you hate the idea of that, but he doesn't do it cause it's his job. He protects you because he loves you. That's why I will protect you. You aren't alone. You never have been no matter how much it felt like it. You've got your family, and that's all you need."
Liam wailed like a baby for the first time in front of Changbin. He wrapped his arms around Felix and Changbin's necks and cried until he ran out of tears. Then he fell asleep and Felix took him up to his room. When he came down, he had a first aid kit in his hand. Felix gestured for Changbin to take a seat. He did. Felix followed him down to the seat beside him and started grabbing things he needed to treat Changbin's hand.
Changbin looked out the window for a second to see how dark it was. The sun had set at least ten minutes prior to the moment they were sharing. He turned back to Felix and watched his small hands pull plastic apart. A drop of water hit Changbin's busted knuckles. He flinched slightly. When he looked at Felix's face, his heart broke. Crying. Again. It seemed like all Felix ever did was cry. Changbin wasn't insinuating that the man was a crybaby, but instead that there was so much pain tucked away inside.
Changbin used his healthy hand and brushed Felix's hair back. He wiped his tears like he did Liam's before pulling him up by his wrists. Felix fell into Changbin's lap without complaint. He even voluntarily turned in Changbin's lap so he was more comfortable. Changbin kissed the side of his forehead, temple, and jaw. Then he placed his chin on Felix's head and wrapped him in a secure hug. He didn't know what words to use to reassure the baker. Kisses were the next best thing in his opinion.
"I hate that he feels like that. Did I do it all wrong? Did I not give him enough love?"
Changbin shook his head and pushed Felix's into his chest. "He didn't bring it up because he knew you would think stupid things like that. You're enough Felix. You both are."
Felix grabbed a fist full of Changbin's shirt. "I never wanted him to feel like that. I wish he would hate me instead of the people around him. I wish they would hate me and treat him like all the other kids. I can't do anything to comfort him. He's not supposed to look out for me like he is. He's supposed to let me take care of him. He's just a kid."
Changbin hummed and sank into a more comfortable posture. His lips stayed against Felix's temple, one hand moving to massage his neck. Felix kept talking. He complained about the unfair world and what he wanted to change for Liam. The only thing he didn't talk about was what he wanted for himself. He never talked about himself. Changbin knew what he wanted though. What Felix wanted for himself was a happy family. One which protected and cared for each other.
Changbin closed his eyes and held onto Felix a little tighter. He didn't know how to comfort him. He still had to discover the little things. But he did know how to read a poem. Actually, he knew how to write them too. So he leaned in closer to the others ear and began a short little poem he had written as a kid.

"My Dear you are a dogwood,
So white and so fine,
with the pink on the edges of your eyes that have cried.
No human is perfect,
We all shed our leaves.
My dear you are no different,
none expect you to be.

Oh but my darling,
Your smile is peace,
and when you feel weak, I will tend to your tree.
I will grow back your flowers when spring comes with showers,
And I'll show them the brightness they have missed.

My dear you are a dogwood, so perfectly quaint.
I'll love you forever, no matter the pain."*

Felix quieted down to listen to the poetry leaving his lovers mouth. When he was done, he pulled away from Changbin's chest and wiped his eyes. "Who wrote that?" he asked.
Changbin swallowed nervously. "Me. Back in high school. You had blonde hair back then so I compared you to the buds on the dogwoods. I never actually saw you cry, but there were times your eyes were slightly more swollen than usual. I assumed it was a fight and wrote that poem."
Felix picked up a tube and unscrewed the lid as he listened to Changbin's explanation. He couldn't help but remind himself of how stupid he was for keeping a distance between Changbin and he during high school. The Q-tip attached to the tubes cap spread ointment across the torn skin along Changbin's knuckles. Felix then blew on it gently. Once he deemed it dry enough, he gently pressed camouflage bandaids over the cuts. "I wish I had dated you in high school," Felix whispered.
Changbin took his hand in his and squeezed it reassuringly. "Maybe the world wanted us to be together. Perhaps we had to learn a few things before we could be. Who knows, maybe in another universe we did date. It could've ended badly. Try and think of the positive things. I'm here now, with you. I'm not leaving."
"You can't promise that," Felix added.
Changbin, although taken back, gave Felix a smile. "I can. I will. I promise I'll never leave."
Felix smiled. Even if it was fake, he did it. Then he climbed off of Changbin's lap, pressed a loving kiss to his lips, and whispered, "You break more than one heart if you break that promise."
Changbin watched as the baker fixed the first aid-kit. Felix excused himself for a moment so he could return it back to its rightful place. While he waited, he stood up from his seat and looked over a part of the wall that had scribbles on it. Most looked like kid's drawings. One thing caught his eye, however.
I'll forgive you when you die.
And beneath it was a drawing of a purple hyacinth.
Changbin's eyes widened, his heart skipping a beat out of pure shock. The serial killer. Why had he written on the wall of Felix's bakery?

*  That Poem is one I wrote myself. Please do not post it without permission or credit.