forever • hyewon

i love you

this might be the last chapter?? it depends on how i end this one i guess. 😭 it's so weird. anyways enjoy the heartbreak of this chapter 💀🤭 and the video... why did they kinda eat?

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gowon pov.

i got inside of hyejus dorm and went to put the note back in the bathroom. i don't want her to be suspicious yk...

i finished and sat on the couch. i burst into tears.

why didn't she tell me?

i mean yeah i know why she didn't tell me but it hurts even more knowing that she was scared to say anything.

my heart felt like it was explode. and it wasn't for a good reason.

i just wanted to avoid her because i was also scared and i ended up dragging her into trying to kill herself? i cant. what the fuck is wrong with me

she was my friend. i shouldn't have been scared.

i heard someone open the door and saw hyeju.

she looked up at me and asked "why are you crying?"

she walked over to me and collapsed on her. "i'm sorry." i whimpered. "i love you so much" i whimpered again.

"what do you mean?" she asked as she started to make her way on the couch.

i kept crying in her arms.

it felt like the  whole world has became dull. the street lights that were once yellow were now gray.

i felt my heart start to break in many pieces.

i cant bear knowing that i caused any of this.

"gowon!" she said sternly as she pulled me off of her.

"what's wrong" she asked. she looked into my eyes with the most sincerity i've ever seen.

it looked like she would do anything for me in that moment.

i couldn't speak.

it was like my mouth was taped shut. all that i could manage to say was "i'm sorry.

"i know your sorry. but sorry for what?" she asked. "sorry for everything." i managed to say.

"please. just tell me what happened. i promise i will still love you the same..." she whispered

she loves me...

"i know what happened." i finally said.

"what happened?" she asked.

"i know about everything. your scar and why you went missing, the reason jungeun acted so weird when we mentioned you. all of the bandages you have to cover it. to cover what i had caused. you never did anything to me in that moment and i led you to do that... im sorry. please i love you so much. i would do anything to go back in time and stop that fight. i was scared. scared when you never showed up, scared when you finally did show up but avoided most people. scared of what i had caused without knowing i had caused it. i shouldn't have followed you to the playground. i should've let you think. you looked so sad but peaceful in a way. i know that you aren't the good at controlling your emotions ever since we were little. i just thought that if i tried to become friends with you again you wouldnt like it. you would push me away. avoid me. and i would ruin my chances of becoming close to you again. i've always been scared of us. if we were going to continue talking once i moved away. ive realized that the reason you began talking to me again was because you forgived me. atleast a little bit. i cant believe that i could ever cause my best friend to slit her neck. i always loved you. i was scared to love you even more. scared to love in general. hyeju im sorry. again. just for everything. sorry for making you take care of me all those days where i was sick, sorry for leaving you all alone. i know that i was the only person who actually understood you just for me to break your heart again. i'm sorry." i finished.

i felt hyeju hug me. i heard her say something.

"i'm sorry too"

"i'm sorry for leaving you alone. all of this could've been avoided if i just sucked it up and  dealt with the fact that you weren't coming home for christmas." she added.

i hugged her back. usually she doesn't really give many hugs. it's refreshing.

"i'm glad that we were able to start new. i knew that the friendship wouldn't last forever. i just wanted it to last long enough. now that we've kinda restarted i've realized how much i missed you. how responsible you've become. how mature you've become." i told her.

"i love you"