Making My Life Better •L.S.•

chapter ~12~

Hi!

Warning: there is a small mention to God and how Harry thinks it's not real. I don't think it's necessary to comment about how God is real and blah blah blah. It's just shows how easily a person can lose his faith when things get really bad.

♡

It was about two weeks after their date that Harry had planned and everything was normal and loving between them.

Harry had been in Louis's house since Saturday's afternoon and it was currently Sunday, 13:00 pm.

They where just watching a movie and Louis had gotten up to wee while Harry stayed in bed, watching the ceiling, thinking about nothing and everything.

He had thought about it the last few weeks, showing Louis his self-harm scars on his thighs. He hasn't done it in so long but he still thinks they were stupid and he was even more stupid to do it.

Self harm had helped him at the time, it helped realising some stress, anger and sadness on his body thinking that he deserved it.

Now, they are stuck with him forever, every single scar will always be there to remind him of his dark days but that's okay, because it shows that be was strong enough to survive those days.

When he thinks of showing Louis, be honest with him and show him his scars, he feels shame and happiness.

Shame because he will admit to his favorite person that he wasn't always okay and needed help but never spoke up. He will admit of hurting himself because he couldn't be mature enough to deal and cope with his emotions.

Happiness because he will let Louis know about his past and they will be even more close to each other and when they will make love, nothing will be there to destroy the mood and no questions about his thighs will be spoken.

"Hey Louis, can we talk? " Harry said when Louis sat down next to him again and went to unpause the movie.

"Sure" Louis smiled and then his smile fall when he saw Harry's stressed out face, ''is everything alright?"

"Yes, I just wanted to say something to you about my uh, past" Harry said and Louis grabbed his hands in his to encourage him when he saw that he really wanted to talk, "Just, promise me that you won't think of me any less? "

"I promise baby," Louis said and offered him a small smile.

"I, um well, when i was younger and tried to cope with everything, the bulling, the situation at my house and my uh dad" He started and felt Louis squeeze his hands as he looked down at his pants covered thighs, "well i choose the wrong coping mechanism and i just thought that if, um you know, uh in the future we make love and all that, you'll have to see me undressed and I don't want you to be surprised and I want to be honest with you and I well, uh I used to self harm. My thighs" He forced out and looked up to see Louis's reaction.

Louis had a frown on his face and tears made their way to his eyes as thought of his boyfriend hurting himself on purpose. He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around his baby, keeping him close to him as he whispered closely to his ear, "I'm sorry you had to go through that and thank you for telling me, my love, you are so brave and I'm just so proud of you." Ηe started and pulled away but still held Harry close to him. "I hope you will never feel the need to do it again but if you do, I'm always here, yeah?" He asked softly and Harry nodded, "You can always come to me. Call me and I'll be there for you " He finished and cupped his face, feeling the warm skin under his palms as he kissed his forehead.