Need You -N.H- Book Two

Seventeen; Hindered

Hindered

In the last eight or so months, I had been here twice for tests. This-by far-was the scariest, the cold plastic hitting the back of my bare arms and reminding me that I'm still alive. The office has not changed in the time, it was still cold and bare of anything happy. My hands shake because of the possibility that is the cancer returning. A few tests is all they need and hopefully I would be gone from this place.

"Hey," Niall's voice breaks me from my thoughts. He stands in front of me in a grey long sleeve, and a pair of jeans. His hair tucked back off his face, he doesn't look so tired anymore but I can still see the worry flooding his eyes.

His hand is cut up as he reaches out for my shaking one, I look from his hand to his eyes and he sighs deeply. "Today isn't about me, or the shit I've done. It's about you," He says it and he means it.

"After though?" I ask and he nods, I take his hand holding on tight and pulling up from my seat into a stand.

I don't realize how terrible or how scared I am until I am standing up and tucking myself into his big arms once again. I stare at myself in the mirror behind me and close my eyes because I don't want to see the terrified girl staring back at me. "Hey it's alright, they'll have all good news from this."

"You don't know that," I whisper pulling back from him and sitting back in my chair. "After all this time it could be back and I could be sick again."

"You aren't sick," he says to me.I almost sure of his confidence but it hurts to believe him because what if he's wrong? "I can see it in your eyes. You'll be fine."

Just as I am about to ask him about whether or not he had forgotten today the nurse calls my name. I let go of Niall's hand and walk carefully behind the nurse trying not to shake anymore.

It doesn't take long before the blood is taken and the tests are finished. The doctor talks at me and I barely listen as he does, the words going in one ear and out the other like a flowing river. My only concern is the phone call to come after the tests and the talks, the phone call that tells me what my future is to hold. Sickness or health?

It feels like the time draws on forever, sitting and staring at the wall like a caged animal. I'm still shaking through my core, running my fingers over the spot where they drew the blood from my arm. It would bruise still-badly. Everything in my life was falling apart if this was the one thing that went right I would be so grateful.

Niall is standing by the desk chatting with Sheryl when I return, she smiles at me and goes back to whatever she was busy doing before. Niall turns and gives me a small weak smile holding the office door open for me as we leave.

"Are you okay?" He asks as we reach the cars, I had taken the bus there this morning and was willing to walk home but Niall insists on driving me after such a long morning.

"I'm fine," I say "just need this to be it, this to be fully finished." He nods opening the passenger door open for me.

"In you go," he says quietly and I climb into the vehicle with more ease than so many times before. I sit in the car, it smells clean like he had washed everything before coming over. "You puked in here didn't you?" I ask him as he gets inside.

"Yea I did," he says surprisingly honest with me. "Does it smell bad I tried to wash it but-"

"It smells fine Niall," I say and he nods turning the engine over quickly.

We drive in silence for a while, eerie silence but my curiosity gets the best of me and I turn in my seat as we pull to a stop light.

"Did you remember about today?" I ask. "Or did someone remind you?"