kehlani imagines

all to you.

                                   Lani's POV

"I can't believe this shit, after all that we've been through. Why does this happen to me every time?"

Y/n had told me to come over her house so she could vent to me. She just found out that her girlfriend has been cheating on her for over a year.

"I'm sorry that it's always like this. Me being as close to you as I am, it's annoying to have to see you go through this shit all the time."

"I just want to be in a relationship that lasts, no fucks ups, at least bad like this. I know there will be arguments and shit, but everyone goes through those. I just wanna be loved and feel like I am loved. Not no fake shit."

I always feel bad in these situations, cause it's like a cycle. As someone who has been close to her as long as I have, I just wanna see her be happy, genuinely happy.

"I want that for you. I want you to be with someone that will give their all to you."

"That's so hard to find now, though. Everyone is either toxic, or it's a one-sided relationship."

I'm not everyone, though. I'm Kehlani.

"It's hard because you're looking for the wrong people. How I see it is, you're just this nice person, and you want love. It doesn't matter who it comes from and that's the problem. You need someone who's genuine in their love for you, that's how you stay in a relationship."

"But how do I know if it's genuine?"

"Test certain things on them, see how they act on the situations, if they act how you would want them to, then maybe they're the one."

"You're right."

"I always am."

"I wish I could just...let me not say that."

"What were you gonna say?"

"It's not important."

"I wanna know though."

"I just wish I could try again with you."

Me and her have had a little trial run. We weren't "dating" or anything, but we were very intimate and very loving towards each other.

Nothing went wrong between us, she had just gotten into a relationship, the one that she just currently got out of after three years, actually.

"You know, I'm willing to do anything. You know how I feel about you. I just don't know how you feel about me."

I know it's probably wrong, but while she was in that relationship, I still had feelings for her. I couldn't express them though for obvious reasons.

"I feel like I messed it up between us during that, I got in a relationship and left you behind."

"I wouldn't consider it 'leaving me behind', you just fell in love with someone else, and that's cool. We was still close, that's all that would've mattered to me."

"You're so sweet no matter what. I feel bad."

"Don't feel bad, it's all good."

...

Me and Y/n had left from her house and went to get some ice cream. 90° degrees in California is not for the weak.

"Kehlani, it's some shade over here." We walked to the bench underneath the trees and sat down.

"What you plan on doin for the rest of the day?" She asked me.

"I was gonna hang out with you for a little, then I was gonna go back home and chill."