KAS The Bloody Handed

Number 010

Eddie's POV

Eddie was screaming. Loud, soul piercing screams. They were screams of pain, of hurt, of sorrow. El tried her hardest to comfort him but she was in shock herself. She never thought... not in a million years... that this is where her memory searching would take them. It was unbelievable.. and yet it suddenly made so much sense. This is why Vecna had chosen him. Someone just as powerful as them... even if they didn't know it.
"I don't understand," cried Eddie, "this can't be real. Why don't I remember? Why is this happening? What does this mean?" he threw the questions out. They weren't directed at El. He was just questioning himself ... his whole life.
"Brother, let me help you" El muttered softly, as she gently pried Eddie's hands away from his face. She looked at him with love, care and understanding. He looked broken. Lost.
"Let me share with you my memories, and we can figure this out together," she whispered, but let's get back to the real world first".
"No. No not yet. Out there I'm a blood thirsty, angry monster. In here, I can't hurt you. I can't go back until I'm calmer" he responded, worry written all over his face.
"Ok. Then do something for me, for you. Think of the happiest memory you can. Forget everything else right now. Take us to a happy place" El insisted.
Eddie closed his eyes and instantly saw dead children everywhere. Nope. Not a good idea. He was panicking. It felt like his unbeating heart was going to fly out of his chest. A strange sensation. A panic attack maybe?
"Lovers lake. You and Y/N. Tracing the clouds. Y/N's laughter, filling the air. Filling you with love. With hope for the future. How happy you are, how carefree" El prodded.
Eddie could picture the scene in his head and he let out a small, defeated smile. In the blink of an eye, he and El were sat at the edge of Lovers lake. It was a warm, clear day. A slight breeze rippled the water on the Lake.
"Good, well done Eddie" El applauded.
They sat down on the grass, with El's hand firmly on Eddie's shoulder... as if to ground him, keep him sane.
"I don't know what to say, where to start" explained Eddie, "my head hurts, and I'm confused".
"Ok, let's start there. What are you confused about?" She asked.
"So that memory was very clearly mine, I can remember everything I- we went through with Papa (he spit the word out). But I'm confused... why didn't I remember that? That is not something you'd forget..." he muttered.
"Maybe sharing my own memories of that day might help us both understand a bit more" El offered. Eddie nodded solemnly.. it's not like it could get any worse. What's a bit more pain and sadness?
El slowly placed her hands on either side of Eddie's head. It started off slowly; Eddie watched a young El go through multiple experiments... being branded the runt of the litter, then suddenly the most powerful. She showed Eddie her recalling of THAT day, how she found all the children dead. Eddie saw hisself laying on the floor, bloody and broken. Bones bending and snapped in directions they shouldn't have been. He certainly looked dead. She showed him how she blasted number 001 into oblivion... or so she thought. Turns out she'd opened a gate to another world and Number 001 turned into Vecna. Go figure.
When she pulled her hands away they both just sat in silence for a while... gathering their thoughts and trying to make sense of everything. El was the first to speak.
"I am only guessing because I do not know... but it's clear that you survived. Maybe the trauma made you forget? Or maybe when HE was trying to kill everyone, he done something to your head that made you forget?" El offered.
Looks like he was never going to understand why he forgot a huge chunk of his life. Trauma. PTSD. That seemed most likely. He had a wave of sadness crash over him as he realised why he couldn't recall any memories of his parents. He didn't have any. He was a lab rat. Nothing more than an undercover experiment. How pathetic. Wait... was his Uncle even really his uncle? Or some random man that took him home? He couldn't be mad about that really... his Uncle had done nothing but raise and treat him well... looked after him, fed him, clothed him. Even if he was just a Good Samaritan, Eddie would be forever grateful. What would have happened if he never went home with him? Would Papa have found him and started his experiments again? He shivered at the thought.
Eddie's head still hurt a lot, like a never ending migraine. He remembered everything now... up to a certain point. Most normal people don't remember earlier than age 5/6 anyway.
You're not normal. Oh here we go. Intrusive thoughts. Not now. Go away.
He felt like he was battling against himself. An internal battle that could go either way. He could either accept everything, move on, defeat Vecna, save himself and go back to his 'normal' life... not that it'll ever be the same... or, he could give in to the darkness that was threatening to take over. What would happen then? He would wake up in a fit of rage, probably kill everyone and be enslaved to Vecna forever. Or his friends would have to kill him to save themselves.
Cool. Nothing too drastic then... He thought to himself. At least his dark sense of humour was still intact. That was one thing that no one could take from him. That's what made him Eddie the 'Freak'. I'm still me. I'm a weird, powerful, experimental vampire thing now but I'm still me. Just gotta stay calm. Keep cool. He had a new mantra. One he made for himself, and one he hoped would keep him sane. He knew now that he couldn't let anger get the best of him.. that wouldn't be good for anyone.
"Eddie?" El questioned softly, "are you ready to wake up?"
"Sure. Let's go" he responded numbly. Drown the emotions, keep everyone safe.
"You might still have a headache when you wake up by the way... I did throw you around a bit... and forcefully knocked you unconscious" El playfully joked.
Eddie just looked at her... no emotion. He wasn't mad, he wasn't upset. It didn't surprise him, in fact he probably deserved it. There was only one reason he was looking forward to waking up.. and that was to see Y/N. They hadn't managed to spend much time together before he died.. but he'd known her a long time and trusted her more than anyone. If there was anyone that was going to keep him sane.. it would be Y/N.
Eddie had a few lingering thoughts as El was readying herself to get them both out of his head.
Lord above please help me. I don't know what's in store. I have no idea what's going to happen. But please, PLEASE keep my friends safe. Keep Y/N safe.