Shadows Whisper | | Azriel

61

Astryn and Azriel stayed at his house for a month. The frenzy went on for longer than Azriel could have predicted.

He didn't want to leave the house and return to regular life. He wanted to stay in his little house forever with Astryn. He could imagine it so easily, abandoning the responsibilities and the promises he made to Rhys to serve at his side and just staying here forever. He could wake up and make pancakes for Astryn for breakfast every morning—he doubted she would get tired of them even in a century. He could still remember that first time he heard her laugh, when they were sat together at the dining room table in the House of Wind and she tried pancakes for the first time and she let out a laugh of utter disbelief at how much she liked them. He was entirely certain that that laugh had been the start of him falling in love with her.

Astryn didn't want to go back to the House of Wind either, though she was excited to see Cassian again. She was eager to show him all the progress she had made on perfecting the things he taught her. She wasn't quite sure why the idea of him praising her the way Azriel did flickered through her mind. The thought alone made her blush.

She didn't want to consider what might have her thinking about Cassian in that way. She could imagine it too easily though, imagine Cassian telling her she's a good girl the way Azriel did. She could imagine them both saying it to her, standing over her and praising her. The idea had her squirming slight.

"You okay?" Azriel asked, eyes shining with concern. He didn't pick up on the arousal in her scent since it had been there constantly for the past month. He assumed it was lingering from the frenzy.

"Mhm," she hummed, hiding her face against his chest as he flew.

She could feel her face burning and was grateful Azriel couldn't see it. What would he think if she knew she was thinking of Cassian like that? She couldn't imagine he'd be anything other than entirely disgusted with her. What if he didn't want her around Cassian anymore because of it? That thought made her feel a pit form in her stomach. Outside of her newfound desire for him, he was her only friend. What would she do if Azriel forbid her from seeing him? She quickly reminded herself that Azriel wasn't like that, corrected the trajectory her thoughts were shooting down and reigned in the brief panic. Azriel wouldn't take away her only friend. She was certain of that.

She knew there was a chance Azriel wouldn't be happy with the thoughts she was having about Cassian, but she also knew he wouldn't take away her only friendship. He wouldn't isolate her like that.

"Az," she said quietly, still hiding her face. "I love you."

"I love you too," he told her, smile evident in his voice as his arms tightened around her slightly.

The rest of the flight was comfortably quiet, nothing but the whistling of the wind slightly muffled by Azriel's magic to fill the silence. They landed smoothly outside of the House and headed inside, Astryn tucked comfortably against Azriel's side.

"Are you going to go see Cassian?" Azriel asked, and it was a battle of wills to not blush just at his name after the thoughts that crossed her mind earlier. "I know he probably wanted to see you went we got back."

"I'd like to go see him," she replied with a sheepish nod, still fighting off the urge to blush at the thought of her friend. Friend, she reminded herself. Friend. She cleared her throat and became awkward for an entirely different reason, something that made her somehow even more anxious than her thoughts of Cassian had made her. "I might say hello to Rhysand too."

Azriel pressed a gentle kiss to the side of her head before wrapping his arm from around her so she could head off, a few shadows trailing after her dutifully. She went to Cassian first, finding him out in the training ring practicing with a dummy. She wondered if the world was conspiring against her or if it was entirely a coincidence that he was shirtless just as she began realizing she had some level of attraction to him. It wasn't like what she felt for Azriel, but it was certainly something and it hadn't been there before she had learned that it was okay to have desires. She still wasn't quite sure if this particular desire was okay, but the image of Azriel and Cassian both with her flashed through her mind and sent a wave of warmth through he. She pushed that aside quickly, sending Cassian a bright smile when he halted what he was doing at the sight of her. He grinned right back.

He crossed the training win in an easy stride and gathered her up in his arms and her desire vanished for now as she simply relished in the hug from the friend she had truly missed. It was odd spending her mornings without him. She had grown accustomed to training with him and missed his guiding presence.

"I missed you," Cassian muttered, still holding her close, "my mornings have been significantly lonelier."

"I missed you too," she mumbled back to him before stepping back from the hug.

"I didn't think you'd even have time to miss me with all the fun you and Az must've been having," Cassian teased, eyes shining with amusement as a smirk tugged up the corners of his lips. "I thought he'd be keeping you so occupied you wouldn't have a single moment to spare to miss me!"

"I still did the exercises you taught me," she informed him, her chest warming at how sincere his smile turned, "I practiced every morning. I think I've gotten a lot better. I'll show you tomorrow morning if you want to pick back up on training then. It's alright if you want to wait longer—"

"I'm entirely okay with tomorrow morning," he assured her, "I definitely don't want to wait longer. I'm tempted to tell you to get in that ring right now and show me all your improvement."

Her eyes widened slightly and her eyelashes fluttered, though she was entirely unaware of the look she was giving him.

"I'd do it if you wanted me to," she said, so soft and sweet. She didn't mean anything by it, but she blushed when she realized the tone her words had taken off. They weren't downright seductive or anything but...the words themselves suddenly seemed risky. Especially with the way Cassian shifted slightly and swallowed back whatever the first response that crossed his mind was.

"It would be best to wait until tomorrow so you have a chance to relax your muscles," Cassian made up an excuse, cursing himself internally for it. Relax her muscles from what? She had only just arrived. He was so flustered. He didn't think he has ever been flustered like this at any other r point during his lifetime. He paused and took a breath. "I really did miss you, Ryn. I'm happy you and Az are back."