Matilda | Harry Styles

SIX

I couldn't even begin to imagine the look on my face as we stood outside of the coffee shop. If it even remotely resembled what I was feeling, it would've been enough to disintegrate Harry if he dared to look in my direction again. I could feel my grip on the strap of my bag tightening, unable to fully listen to the words of the conversation surrounding me. I could faintly make out Pauli's laughter beside me, and Sarah's in return, but all I could focus on was him. 

There was considerable distance between Harry and the unidentified girl by his side, now, but her hand occasionally brushed over his arm, the pair now conversing with Ally. I wanted to stop looking at him, but I couldn't. I was completely and utterly bewildered by what was unfolding before my eyes. 

I noticed when she leant back into his side at something that Ally had said, winding her arm around Harry's waist as they laughed in unison, that he didn't appear to return her touches. His hand hovered, at moments, over her upper back, but it never seemed to fully rest upon her body.

I was furious. I was trying my best not to assume the worst, but I couldn't help but begin to put the pieces together that were undoubtedly starting to occupy my head. If Harry was an item with whoever this was, then it made perfect sense as to why he'd sought to talk me out of coming on tour, at all - he wanted to hide the mistake he'd made, in what appeared to me, undoubtedly; he had cheated on her, with me.

I tore my eyes from him, my lip falling between my teeth. I needed to get ahold of myself. I couldn't continue to shoot daggers across the room at him - aside from the fact it would only drive me crazy, but it would also draw attention; the very thing neither he nor I wanted. I figured it probably wouldn't do me any favours to make a huge scene, having known the people around me for mere minutes. And that wasn't me; that wasn't who I was. I didn't want to dramatise, or kick off, publicly. But it infuriated me that both Harry and I were the only ones who knew what he had done.

"I'm gonna go get a coffee," I announced, suddenly, forcing a small smile onto my face as I captured the attention of the remainder of the group. I figured I should've extended the invite to the others, but I wasn't sure I could be very valuable company at that moment. Elin caught my eye again.

"I'll come with you," she said.

"Make it quick, guys - we can start boarding in ten minutes," Ally called out as we began to move away from the group, and I sent her a nod.

I could see him from his place across from Ally, looking at me again. I let our eyes lock, finally, and I immediately wished I hadn't. I could see her leaning into his side again, her fingers toying with the sleeve of his shirt as his attention had been drawn from her, but his eyes remained on me. I could've cursed myself for the heat I felt beginning to prickle at my skin simply from his eyes; the way I could feel every nerve in my body responding to him. He was magnetic; everything about him. And I hated it. I hated the way I could feel my chest thumping at the mere sight of him, even despite what he'd done, and how he'd treated me. He still looked like he was trying to figure out what I was thinking; like he was trying to read me, and I couldn't hide the glare spreading onto my face at him doing so. He didn't get to do that. I wouldn't let him.

My anger returned to cloud my thoughts as Elin joined me in heading towards the coffee shop. I tried so desperately to suppress it, but I couldn't help it. The fact that he could stand there, so nonchalantly, knowing full well what he had done, was driving me crazy. He could stand in a group of his friends, his colleagues, and I, without remorse or consequence - he could stand, side by side with this girl I could only assume he was an item with. It was infuriating.

I wondered if she knew already. Was that why she'd been watching me with such disillusionment, virtually from the second I'd arrived? God, that would've been even worse. I hadn't a clue who she was; the role she would be playing on this tour, or who exactly she was to Harry - but she was clearly somebody, and if she really did know, it made sense why she'd hate me. But how much did she know, if anything?