chapter 20 ||

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**

Panting with my hands on my knees, I looked around the empty park. It was five in the morning, I couldn't sleep. I hadn't heard from either Jin or Jimin in almost two weeks.

I assumed Jimin tried talking to him and I guess it didn't end well. I usually never went on jogs, let alone in the early morning. This had become sort of a habit ever since my world pretty much crumbled.

Jungkook was still by my side though, but I knew he was kind of worried about me. I hadn't been eating normally, barely sleeping and this new jogging routine of mine I knew he wasn't a fan off.

Mostly i think it was about my safety, especially since that time I ran literally in the middle of the night and he basically scolded and forbid me from doing it again. I also knew it was because he was genuinely worried about me, doing something like this is not like me at all.

I sort of said I would stop but...here I am. Looking at the sky and listening to my music.
I found it refreshing. No people to see, music and calming nature. It was like I was all alone in the world, which I kind of felt like was true.

After spending a good 10 minutes just standing in the park, I jogged the 30 minutes back home. I stretched slightly outside my doorstep and took a deep breath. Entering my house after my jogs was the worst part.

Because when I do, it's back to the thinking, back to the memories and I'm just me again. The girl who ruined about three peoples lives in a matter of 5 minutes. Poor Namjoon, poor jimin and poor poor Jin.

I entered the house and went straight to the kitchen to drink some water. After chugging my glass, I turned around and almost had a heart attack from a figure sitting on my couch.

I screamed so loud and almost fell to the floor. I quickly turned on the light and I felt a sense of relief just rush through me. I put my hand on my chest and breathed out.

"What the hell Jungkook! What is the matter with you, why are you here??" I semi-yelled at him. He just walked to the kitchen and stood against the counter.

"I thought we agreed." He said blankly, crossing his hands over his chest. I just rolled my eyes. "You couldn't call like a normal person? You thought coming here and scaring me to death was better?" I scoffed walking towards him.

"Y/N I'm not joking around! This isn't funny. You told me you would stop, and I trusted you. Can't you understand that I'm worried about you?" He snapped, staring right into my soul.

I was a bit in shock. I didn't think it was that big of a deal. "Calm down okay, I'm fine I'm not doing anything wrong" I murmured out. He scoffed.

"You can't be serious. Not only are you putting yourself at risk, going out alone during the dark, but Y/N you're not sleeping, you barely eat, you miss school and dance...this isn't like you!"he yelled. I felt the tears coming.

"I mean can you not just stop and think for a second about how—-" he stopped mid sentence, realising I was crying. "No baby I'm sorry" he quickly stated before taking me in his arms.

I couldn't do anything but just cry. "Shhh it's okay. I'm sorry I didn't mean to yell" he whispered. After a minute I gathered my breath and wiped the tears off my face. "No, I'm sorry" I started, looking up at him.

He stroked my cheek. "I'm sorry I wasn't honest, I'm sorry I put myself at risk, I'm sorry that I'm putting you through this mess that currently is my life and I'm just sorry for not being able to control myself right now!"

He wiped the new tears streaming down my cheeks, before he nodded. "You shouldn't have to apologise baby. Of course you have the right to be upset or any type of feeling that you have, you just went through something awful..." He said putting our foreheads together and intertwining our hands.

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